Saturday, October 4, 2014

I Have Heard Some ...

Every guy knows the anxious feeling while approaching an attractive girl at the bar. What do you say to impress her? A million brilliant lines float through your mind before you blurt out, “There’s a party in my pants and you’re invited.” Why is she walking away? You’re drunk! Is she expecting Ernest Hemingway-level eloquence?

Here’s some of the funniest pick-up lines.
1. "Do you know how I got these guns?"
Point to biceps while flexing.
"Lifting children out of poverty."

2. Are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
3. Are you the Gulf of Mexico? Because I wanna drill you & make a huge mess.

4. Girl, are you sitting on the F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing.
5. On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
6. DAMMMMNNNN, girl, you shit wit dat ass?
7. Hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Well the adult females can weigh up to 250 Kg and the adult males as much as 700 Kg. My name is RXL and I fucking love polar bears.
8. When I was a girl I used to go for guys like me.
9. Your booty must fly Malaysian airlines because I've been missing it for days.
10. You look divorced.
11. What is your favorite dinosaur?

12. Why don't you and I head back to my place and do things I'm going to tell my friends we did anyway?
13. My mom says any girl would be dumb not to go out with me.
14. I will light myself on fire if you don't go out with me. Seriously.
15. If good looks were poop, you'd be that giant pile of Triceratops shit from Jurrasic Park.
16. Sex with me is like gun control. No matter how much we talk about it nothing happens because we can't get it to work down south.
17. Are you the terms and conditions? Cus I don't care what you have to say.

18. There'll only be 7 planets after I destroy Uranus.
19. You: Do you have a boyfriend? That's cool, I've got a goldfish.Her: What? You: I'm sorry, I just thought we were talking about shit that doesn't matter.
20. My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself.

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