What Would Carolyn Say About Me?

Dear Carolyn -- My bestest, bestest friend is getting married this summer. The wedding coincides with my fiance's birthday, and he has said the only present he wants to mark the event is not to have to go to the wedding.

I'm not going to insist that he come with me, but I was pretty taken aback by this attitude. I wish he would be there because my friend and her husband will likely be in our lives for years and I want him to be part of this memory. It's local and will cost us almost nothing to attend.

I get that not everyone enjoys weddings (and my fiance is particularly impatient with them), but isn't this bad sportsmanship?

-- CaliforniaHe sounds like a weenie. Marrying him is a good idea, you're sure?

For what it's worth, I'm not sold on the "want him to be part of this memory" argument; it's squishy, for one, plus it suggests you're working harder than necessary to justify wanting him there ("bestest, bestest friend"). This is a celebration of someone very important to you, and you'd like your fiance to give a spit, or just half of one, if only on your behalf. The "bad sportsmanship" angle sounds right to me.