Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Cleaning Tips


1. Remove red wine stains. Saturate the stain with table salt ASAP and let it sit for a couple of hours, then wash in cold water. Another trick is to pour some white wine on the stain and wash accordingly.

2. Remove coffee stains. Scrub the stain with baking soda paste. To make baking soda paste, just mix baking soda and water.

3. Remove grease/oil stains. Blot the stain with dishwashing detergent. If the stain has soaked in, mix one part vinegar with two parts water to make an all-natural cleaner. Apply to the stain and wash. By the way, did you know vinegar can replace 30 household products?

4. Remove ink stains. Spray the stain with hairspray or rubbing alcohol and blot the area. Repeat until most of the stain is gone, then wash.

5. Remove lipstick stains. Treat lipstick stains the same way as ink stains (spray-blot-repeat), but follow up by scrubbing with dishwashing soap. FYI, your top of the line lipstick will be more difficult to remove because of the greater depth of pigments.

6. Remove blood stains. First, make sure your stained item doesn’t bleach out. Then, pour some regular, drugstore hydrogen peroxide and let it soak before washing it in cold water.

7. Remove body odor. Spray the problem area (usually the armpits) with a 50/50 dilution of alcohol and water, and then hang it up to line dry. You want to kill the bacteria without damaging the garment.

8. Remove moth ball odor. Try dry-hanging your clothes out in the sun first. If the moth ball smell doesn’t dissipate, seal your clothes in a plastic bag with some dryer sheets or dry lavender, a natural moth repellant. So the next time you put your clothes into storage, use dry lavender instead of moth balls. These methods are safe to use on 100 percent cotton or cotton/synthetic blends, but not all of them are applicable to all fabrics. For more comprehensive tips, check out Cornell's stain removal guide and 16 ways to make your clothes last longer.

Carpets and Floors

9. Clean mud off carpet. Let the mud dry completely, then remove as much as possible with a knife. Mix one quart of water with one-quarter teaspoon of hand or dish soap. (Make sure the soap doesn’t contain bleach of lanolin.) Pour the solution into a spray bottle: spray, rub, blot.

10. Remove rust stains off carpet. Mix vinegar and water in a spray bottle, spray the solution onto the stain, and let it sit for a few minutes. Clean the area with a brush or sponge using warm, soapy water. For really tough stains, spray on a good amount of lemon juice (but don’t wet the padding underneath), let it sit for five to six minutes, and blot with a paper towel.

11. Remove grease/oil stains off carpet. Remove as much as possible with a knife and blotting. Pour rubbing alcohol onto a clean white cloth (or white paper towels). Blot until the stain is removed. If the stain is small, be sure to blot in one direction only so the stain doesn’t spread.

12. Clean wood laminate floors. Sweep up the loose stuff first. Then, add two to four tablespoons of vinegar to a small bucket of warm water. Wet two terry cloths in the solution, wring them out, and lay them flat on the floor. Step on the cloths and walk across the floor in sweeping motions and scrubbing with your toes where necessary. Let it air dry or walk on microfiber towels.

More Cleaning Tips

13. Clean the stovetop. Boil water in a kettle. Dribble a very shallow layer of water over the entire stovetop and it sit for about five minutes. Scrub, wipe with soap, and rinse. This method may not work for all stoves. If you own a ceramic or induction stove, be sure to check the instruction manual and other documents.

14. Clean grill racks. Heat up the grill until it’s super hot to make it easier to scrap off the clumps. Cut an onion in half and attach the round end of a half-onion to a fork. Point the flat side of the onion facedown and rub the grate.

15. Clean windows. Make a cleaner by mixing three teaspoons of vinegar to one quart of warm water. Pour the solution into a spray bottle and spray onto the glass, wiping it dry with crumpled newspapers. To prevent streaking, don’t clean while the sun is on the window.

16. Remove crayon marks off painted walls. Apply baking soda paste onto the crayon mark, rub gently with a clean cloth, and wipe clean. If that doesn’t work, you can also rinse the area with a sponge soaked in liquid dish soap and water, then scrub in a circular motion. Be sure to first test the cleaner on an inconspicuous spot (like near a corner or behind a door).

17. Remove mildew smell from towels. Put the towels into a washing machine and add one or two cups of white vinegar. (Don’t add any other products at this time.) Run the washer using the hottest water setting available. When it’s done, leave the towels inside and wash them again at the hottest water setting -- this time with laundry soap (but no fabric softener or other products). Dry the towels in a dryer using the high heat setting. If the towels aren’t completely dry, run the dryer again, or hang them up outside in the sunlight.

18. Clean vinyl or plastic shower curtains. Take off the rings and put the curtains in a washing machine. Add one cup of bleach, one cup of detergent, and a few dirty towels to help scrub off the soap scum. Run the washer on the gentle cycle with either warm or hot water. Right after the spin cycle, take the curtains of the washer, shake it out gently, and let it drip dry. Don’t worry about the wrinkles: Hot steam from a couple of showers (plus gravity) will smooth out your curtains in a day.

19. Clean soap scum. For the soap scum buildup in your bath and shower area, spray it with vinegar and wipe off with a damp sponge. You can also sprinkle baking soda, borax, or powder laundry detergent onto a damp sponge and scrub.

20. Clean cloudy glassware. To remove hard water deposits, scrub cheap, white toothpaste all over the glass and rinse thoroughly.

Amy Lu writes at Wise Bread, a blog dedicated to helping readers live large on a small budget. Wise Bread's book, 10,001 Ways to Live Large on a Small Budget, debuted as the #1 Money Management book on

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Getting More Beautiful!

The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings. -Nothing improves with age. -No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again. -Sex has no calories. -Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. -There is no remedy for sex but more sex. -Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. -No sex with anyone in the same office. -First Time Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last. So what do you think?

Crabby Thoughts While Being Caged!

Bull lips: Tough facial meat from beef cattle, used as bait.
Chicken necker: A recreational crabber.
Cull: To sort crabs by legal size.
Dipping: Scooping up crabs with a long-handled metal mesh net.
Hard s hell: A blue crab with a tough outer shell.
Jimmy: A male crab.
Keeper: A male hard crab, measuring at least 5 1/4 inches across the top shell, or any mature female crab (most measure 5 inches or more).
Mustard: The yellow hepatopancreas found inside the body cavity. Mustard from some bay crabs has been found to contain elevated levels of polychlorinated biphenyl, or PCBs, and other contaminants. It's best to discard it.
Sally: An immature female crab, characterized by a pyramid-shaped apron on the abdomen.
Sook: A mature female crab, with a dome-shaped apron.
Soft shell: A crab that has molted and shed its hard shell. After the lungs and facial area are removed, a cooked soft crab can be consumed in its entirety.Trotline: A baited line used to catch crabs.
The blue crab, one of the most valuable crustaceans in the United States, is aptly described by its scientific name, Callinectes sapidus; Calli beautiful; nectes swimmer; and sapidus savory.
Blue Crab (Callinectes Sapidus)
Blue crabs, like other crabs, possess five pairs of legs, with the first pair equipped with pincers. Crabs have a hard shell or exoskeleton. The shell is brownish-green or dark-green and drawn out on each side into a long spine. The underside of the body and legs is white. Male and female claws show varying amounts of blue on top. The tips of the female's claws are bright red.
Blue crabs shed their external shell periodically to grow; this process is called molting. Before molting begins, a new soft shell forms inside, and the crab backs out of the old, loose shell.
Blue crabs are found along Florida's Atlantic and Gulf coasts. A shallow-water crab, it can live in salt, fresh, and brackish waters of bays, sounds, channels, and river mouths. Blue Crabs are omnivorous, feeding on plants and animals. During the winter months, blue crabs move into deeper water and enter a state of semi-hibernation.
Blue crabs are harvested by dredges, trawls, pots, trotlines, and dipnets. They are marketed in the hardshell and softshell forms, with the delectable softshell crab available fresh or frozen. Hardshell crabs can be purchased live or fresh-steamed. If purchased live, they should show movement. Discard dead crabs.
Fresh and pasteurized crabmeat are packed and priced according to the size and integrity of meat pieces and chunks. Meat types include: jumbo; lump or backfin; special, flake, regular or deluxe; claw; and mixed. Cocktail claws are also available (claw with the shell removed to expose the meat except for the forward tip of the claw).
Fresh crabmeat should be stored below 35 degrees F. At this temperature, fresh crabmeat can be expected to have a shelflife of 10-14 days from the date of packaging. Pasteurized crabmeat is heat- treated and packed in hermetically sealed containers for extended refrigerated shelflife. At 32 degrees F., pasteurized crabmeat can be stored at least six months, provided the hermetic seal is not broken. When the seal is broken, the contents will have the same shelflife as fresh crabmeat

Proper Etiquette

Bread on the Left, Drink on the Right

Which drink is yours? This is one of the first decisions at the dinner table because oftentimes, napkins are in the glass when you arrive at the table.

Here is an easy tip to help you remember. Hold both hands in front of you, palms facing each other. Using the tips of your thumb and forefinger, make circles on each hand. The remaining three fingers in each hand point upwards. Your left hand will form a "b" and your right hand will form a "d". Bread (b) is on the left, and drink (d) is on the right. Thank you Martha Stewart for that tip.
If your neighbor has already taken your bread plate or drink, quietly ask the waiter for another.

Financial Interlude!

1. Grab your employer's match. If you're offered a 401(k) at work, put at least enough of your salary in it--most commonly 6%--to qualify for the full matching contribution from your employer. If you dislike the investment choices in your 401(k), hold your nose and contribute anyway; you may be able to roll your money into an IRA that gives you more choice. Decide whether to contribute even more to your 401(k) after taking the next two steps.

2. Fund a Roth IRA. A Roth provides both tax-free growth and an escape hatch if you need cash. After age 591TK2 all withdrawals are tax free, no matter what you use them for. But you can take back your original contributions at any age, without paying taxes or penalty. Another advantage: If you don't need the cash, you don't have to start draining a Roth after age 70 1/ 2, as you do other IRAs. "You control the spigot," says Clifford Caplan, a financial planner in Norwood, Mass. You can even leave the Roth to your children or grandchildren, who can string out tax-free growth and withdrawals over their own projected life spans.

True, when you open a Roth you forgo the current tax deduction you could get by opening a deductible IRA (if you're eligible) or funneling more pretax dollars into your 401(k). But listen to the Democratic presidential candidates and look at the federal deficit projections. The looming prospect of higher tax rates is a good argument for a Roth.

Think you're not eligible? Both eligibility and contribution limits are rising; for 2008 a couple can contribute $10,000 to Roth IRAs ($12,000 if they're 50 or older) with up to $159,000 in adjusted gross income. Note that AGI doesn't include salary you've put in a pretax 401(k). If you still earn too much, be sure to read step 6.

3. Build up taxable accounts. Today's erratic stock markets, economy and tax code bring home why it's smart to keep a chunk of your savings in taxable accounts. You can always get your hands on the money. The accessibility of money in tax-sheltered accounts is contingent on your complying with the social engineering schemes coming out of Congress. (In this weird world, withdrawing money from an IRA to buy a first home is virtuous, withdrawing money to expand your business is not.)

You can usually get a loan of up to $50,000 from your 401(k), but there are gotchas and pitfalls. If you lose your job and don't immediately repay a 401(k) loan, you'll owe a 10% penalty, as well as taxes, just when you're cash-shy. In fact, more than 1 million taxpayers, including some very well-educated ones, end up paying penalties each year for early withdrawals from their retirement accounts. In January the U.S. Tax Court upheld a penalty against Shawn Timothy Hynes, a University of Pennsylvania law school graduate who took $16,000 out of his 401(k) to tide him over while he studied for the bar and waited to start a job as a securities litigator at Simpson Thacher & Bartlett.

Beyond flexibility, there are--odd as it sounds--tax advantages to taxable accounts, particularly if you hold the right assets in the right accounts. Any funds you take out of a pretax 401(k) or IRA are taxed as ordinary income, at a current top rate of 35%. But long-term capital gains realized in regular accounts are taxed at a maximum 15%. Yes, Democrats might raise the capital gains rate. But it's still likely to be lower than the top ordinary income tax rate. Moreover, you can harvest capital losses from your taxable portfolio and use them to offset any gains you want to take, as well as up to $3,000 a year in ordinary income (say, from salary).

"Most investors ignore the asset-location issue. They fail to recognize the significant impact of placing the right assets in the right buckets," says John Nersesian of Nuveen Investments' Wealth Management Services. General advice: Use taxable accounts to hold individual stocks (these present better opportunities for loss harvesting) and index funds or exchange-traded index funds that don't throw off much taxable income. Put your assets with the highest growth potential in a Roth. Taxable bonds and REITs belong in a pretax 401(k) or IRA; the income they generate is taxed at ordinary rates anyway, and this way the tax is deferred. Also good for your pretax 401(k) or IRA are assets that generate short-term gains, which are taxed at ordinary income rates--stocks you trade a lot and actively managed small-company or international funds.

Having taxable accounts also allows you to better control how much taxable income you recognize each year in retirement. Finally, at your death (at least under current law), assets held in a taxable account get a step-up in basis, meaning your heirs will owe no capital gain tax on appreciation taking place in your lifetime.

4. Fatten your 401(k). The maximum annual employee contribution (both pretax and Roth) combined for 2008 is $15,500, with an extra $5,000 allowed for workers 50 and older. "It's stunning the number of high-income people who miss the catch-up provision," says Brian Jones, a financial planner in Fairfax, Va.

About 20% of 401(k) plans now offer the Roth 401(k) option, first allowed in 2006. As with a Roth IRA, aftertax money goes into the Roth K, but money withdrawn in retirement isn't taxed. A Roth K makes sense if you're young and likely to be earning more and paying tax at a higher rate in the future. Roth Ks have no income limitation.

A Roth isn't a good idea if your combined federal and state tax rate is likely to decline--say, if you're working in high-tax New York and plan to retire soon to state-income-tax-free Florida.

Also, beware of tricky tax code interactions caused by all the goodies that get taken away as your income rises. Using a pretax 401(k) might reduce your adjusted gross income enough to make you eligible for a more flexible Roth IRA; or might keep you from losing the child credit; or might allow you to deduct interest on college loans. If you make between $50,000 and $200,000, you should memorize the several hundred pages of IRS publications and instructions that relate in some way to things being phased out. Or hire an accountant.

5. Consider college costs. Difficult issue for parents: Should they max out contributions to their retirement accounts before saving expressly for college? Stashing all your savings in retirement accounts increases the chance your kids will qualify for financial aid; colleges expect parents to contribute up to 5.6% of their nonretirement assets (including, sometimes, home equity) each year but don't count parents' IRAs and 401(k)s. Even with a gross income of $200,000 you might qualify for aid, depending on how many kids you have in school, where they're going and how much in countable assets you have.

However, if you're going to need to dig into those retirement accounts for college anyway, the money is probably better saved elsewhere. The problem is not just that you might end up paying a penalty in addition to ordinary income taxes if you pay college bills from your 401(k). In the Alice-in-Ivy-Land financial-aid world, colleges count what you take from a retirement account to pay their inflated bills as current income to you--making your kid less likely to qualify for aid the next year.

A good home for savings you expect to use for college costs is a 529 state college savings account. You don't get a federal tax deduction for putting money in a 529, but you get tax-free growth--withdrawals aren't taxed if used for college. Plus, 30 states give residents a tax break for contributing to the state's own plan.

6. Play the conversion game. High-income folk who aren't eligible to open a deductible or Roth IRA are allowed to open a nondeductible IRA instead. Earnings are tax deferred, not tax free as they are in a Roth. Is it worth it? Sometimes, answers Craig Brimhall, vice president of retirement wealth strategies for Ameriprise. In fact, he's been putting the maximum in one of these IRAs for his wife, Melanie, 46, since 2006.

What entices Brimhall is that under current law, starting in 2010, anyone--no matter what their family income--can convert a pretax or aftertax IRA into a Roth. (Currently conversion isn't allowed for families with $100,000 or more in income.) In a conversion you withdraw funds from an IRA, pay any ordinary income taxes due (preferably with non-IRA funds) and put the withdrawn funds into a Roth, where all future growth is tax free. Since Melanie's IRA is funded entirely with aftertax contributions, only the earnings in her account will be taxed in the conversion.

Those doing conversions in 2010 get a special break: They can recognize the income from the IRA withdrawal in two installments, in 2011 and 2012. (This bizarre two-year delay owes its life to a congressional budget gimmick.) "I want us to have some tax-free pots of cash to draw on later in life," Brimhall says.

Brimhall didn't open a nondeductible IRA for himself because he already has a fat pretax IRA, filled with money rolled from a pretax plan at a previous job. When you convert to a Roth, you have to withdraw a proportionate share from your pretax and after-tax IRAs. So for him the withdrawals would be mostly taxable.

7. Do an HSA. To open a health savings account, you must have health insurance with a deductible of at least $2,200 for a family plan or $1,100 for individual coverage. You can then contribute a maximum of $5,800 pretax dollars for family coverage ($2,900 for individual) to the HSA. You can also put in an extra pretax $900 for each covered family member who is 55 or older. HSA withdrawals, either for health expenses or in retirement, are tax free. So you get a tax break on both ends.

An HSA works best if you pay your current health bills with other funds and let what's in the HSA grow--in other words, if you're healthy and affluent. Only 20% of employers offer HSA plans. But they're catching on among high-income, self-employed folk.

You Have My Attention

So Ask Me Anything!

Have you ever been touched in your private areas, by a complete stranger?

yes ... i have been blindfolded at parties and have had to do as i was told!

Ask me anything

Have you ever sucked a stranger?

I don't think of Him as a stranger if my lips are on his cock!

Ask me anything

Have you been humiliated in public?

yes often... it's a rush like you have never experienced before.. each and ever time!

Ask me anything

Does size matter bitch?

Of course it does ... any size... i don't matter!

Ask me anything

I Missed My Anniversary!

The Kinky Adventures of Nikkij was one year old on 6/27!
"Happy Anniversay to Me!"
Have a drink on me ...
Thanks for checking me out ... please come back often ... comments are always welcomed ... as is Ask Me Anything!

Hajime Sorayama

Hajime Sorayama was born in 1947 in Ehime prefecture, Japan. Sorayama entered Shikoku Gakuin University in 1965.
After this unsatisfying attempt at college, studying Greek and then English, Sorayama's childhood affinity for drawing let him to Japan's Chuo Art School in 1967. Graduating in 1969, he was employed by the advertising firm Asahi Tsushin-sha in Tokyo as a comprehensive illustrator.

He began working independently as a free-lance illustrator in 1972.

In 1978 he started drawing robots, and a year later, these female figures began to surface publicly. While Sorayama's fine-tuned technique is superbly suitable for a wide range of subjects, his favourite remains the erotically charged form of a naked woman.

In 1994, he held his first one-man show in America at the Tamara Bane Gallery, California. A special Sorayama article appeared in the Silver Anniversary issue of Penthouse Magazine.

In 1995, he designed a mechanical warrior in a science fiction movie Space Trucker. In the same year, he secured a long-term engagement to publish art monthly in Penthouse Magazine.

Sorayama resides with his wife and two daughters in Tokyo, Japan.

To quote Hajime Sorayama:

"Art is a kind of tenacity, an insistence upon asserting your own originality."
"By contrast, superrealism deals with the technical issue of how close one can get to one's object."

"Unlike art, illustration is not a matter of emotion or hatreds, but an experience that comes naturally through logical thinking."

Hajime Sorayama

Friday, June 25, 2010

Going Away For Awhile... I Hope to Be Back Soon!

Bare Essentials!

Talent ....

Get A Grip On It!

Too Funny

A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman. The Texan says "Yup" and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?" The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

Do You Think She's Worried About The House Being Cleaned?

Married men do less housework worldwide

RALEIGH, N.C. (UPI) -- A study of more than 17,000 people in 28 countries found that married men report doing less housework than live-in boyfriends, U.S. researchers said. Sociologist Shannon Davis of George Mason University, and co-authors Theodore Greenstein and Jennifer Gerteisen Marks of North Carolina State University in Raleigh, N.C., say their key finding suggests the institution of marriage changes the division of labor even for couples who see men and women as equal. The study, published in Journal of Family Issues, found that in married relationships, even if an egalitarian viewpoint is present, men still report doing less housework than their wives. "Our research suggests that couples across many countries are influenced by similar factors when deciding how to divide the housework," Davis says in a statement. "It's the way the society has defined what being married means, the institution itself, that affects behavior." The researchers say they did not track co-habitating couples over time to see if their division of housework changed after marriage.

Copyright 2007 by United Press International

Did You Know --

A penis whose stretched flaccid length is more than approximately 2.5 standard deviations below average size for the age group referred to medically as micropenis. This is not a title that any self-respecting man -- or tgirl for that matter -- wants to put on his or her resume ... a cuckold might but ...

Cold air, cold water fear, anger, or even anxiety can cause the penis, scrotum and testicles to be pulled closer to the body, thereby shortening the penis to micropenis lengths. The good news is that the warm conditions can cause it to lengthen.

Club Med here we come!

Say Cheese!

“I‘m not attractive enough for him to get it up anymore.” “He should be able to get turned on just by looking at me.” “He used to get rock hard in a heart beat; now he has to take a pill and I don’t like it. Taking medicine seems fake. I would rather not have sex at all.” I have heard it all over and over, but my response remains the same: “Wrong!” Here’s the scoop on erections: First of all, understand that the penis gets hard because more blood flows there during arousal. Dogs and walruses have bones in their penises, but men are designed a little differently and depend on healthy blood flow. That’s also why smoking eventually can kill erections since it causes the arteries in the body to harden. In fact, erectile problems are sometimes a warning sign that a man has heart or circulation problems and he should see his doctor. Men who take blood pressure medicine also sometimes can’t get it up anymore, since less blood is flowing to the penis. Instead of stopping their medicine, these men should talk to their health care provider, who can prescribe a different medication. Guys need sexual stimulation to get hard, but the type and amount they need changes over time.
Around age 15, all they need is a thought. As a man ages, he can no longer rely only on sexy thoughts, but he will need more and more direct physical stimulation of his penis. I always stress this fact to my clients who still believe they should be able to perform like teenagers. Women, you need to know that it’s normal for an aging partner to need more stimulation and it’s not related to how attractive you are! Stimulation varies while you have sex, so it’s also normal for a man’s penis to get softer at times, say if he’s been only kissing for some time. He usually can get hard quite quickly once his penis is touched again. And yes, it’s considered normal if a man periodically can’t get hard. Perhaps he’s not in the mood that day.
Or he is too tired. Or he suddenly got nervous. Or he had too much to drink. Or he is with a partner where things just don’t work out. Only if he continues to have problems getting it up might that mean he has a problem that needs attention. Some men get so nervous about being able to “perform” that they either cannot get an erection or they lose it too quickly. There is a simple explanation: When a man is stressed or anxious the blood supply to his penis (and digestion, by the way) shuts down. I have seen countless men with performance anxiety that struggle with erections and don’t have fun during sex. Reassure them, ladies! Relaxation is the key.

Dress with A Sense of Work in Mind

Your party attire should be in line with what you wear to work. Some businesses are casual and employees don't have to think much of what they wear. Others are more strict, so after-hours clothes can be a bit more relaxed, but not too revealing. If your coworkers have never seen you in open-toed shoes or bare legs, pass on the short dress or cleavage-baring shirt. Keep it professional. Wear your sexy-somethings to other holiday events with your friends and partner!A good rule of thumb is to ask yourself: Would I be comfortable wearing this if something unexpectedly came up at the office? If the answer is no, change your outfit.Nikkij loves this outfit and plans to wear it to an office party soon!

6 Ways to Pretend You Cooked...Even When You Didn't

Whipping up a homemade gourmet spread for six or more can be a little daunting, especially when pressed for time (and who isn't these days?). Sure, Martha makes it look so simple, but she is Martha, after all. But, even for mere mortals, the array of prepared foods found in the supermarkets these days makes it a breeze to dress up a dish and make it look like your very own. With a few fun and creative tricks no one will ever know!

Do the Taste Test... Before you order a pound of something at your local gourmet shop, taste it first! Make sure it's what you had in mind and, most importantly, make sure it's super tasty.

Don't Go Topless... It's amazing what a little topping and a few garnishes can do to dress up a deli chicken or takeout soup from your favorite bistro. Grated Parmesan, crumbled Bleu, croutons, fresh herbs, toasted pine nuts, dried cranberries, chopped scallions, you name it -- stock your kitchen with all kinds of garnishing goodies. Colorful toppings punch up any dish and make everything look that much more homemade. One of our faves is parsley, which sometimes gets a bad rap, but we love its versatility. Let's say you're decorating a platter of storebought sliced beef or grilled salmon. Just grab a bunch of fresh sprigs and place them all around the rim of your dish, almost like a wreath. Then stick a few right in the center. Somehow the parsley instantly makes the food look like you were slaving away for hours. Add some sliced lemon (for fish) or a small bowl filled with mustard or horseradish (for beef) -- and voila!

Do It Halfway... Don't be afraid to go homemade where it counts and skimp where it doesn't. For example, whip real cream (it looks much classier than the stuff out of a can, tastes better than the fake stuff, and only takes a couple of minutes) and add fresh berries to jazz up store-bought pound cake. Or buy shredded coleslaw mix and add a sliced green onion and jarred buttermilk ranch dressing for "homemade" coleslaw that tastes worlds better than the deli counter version.
Fake It Till You Bake It... Fill your home with the scent of freshly baked goods -- only you have to know that all you did was bake them! From bread to pizza crust to chocolate chip cookies, save tons of time by buying the dough and just popping it in the oven.

Head for Home Plate... Obviously, you want to avoid placing food on the table in the plastic or paper cartons it was purchased in -- a big fat give-away! Break out your nicest serving platters, dishes, and bowls and present everything in a first-class way -- as if you had spent hours and hours slicing and sautéing.

Divide and Conquer... Instead of serving everything in "bulk" so guests have to serve themselves, divide store-bought food into single-serving bowls or glasses. Offer diced veggie salad in martini glasses as a first course...a shot glass of carrot/ginger soup garnished with a breadstick as a second course...individual pastries topped with whipped cream and cinnamon to finish things off after your main course. And just like that, turn your easy-as-pie grocery goodies into a four-course gourmet feast!

Posture and Stance:

Stand or sit up straight. Don't slouch or lean against anything.
When seated, place both feet flat on the floor, not crossed or tucked under the chair.
Lean forward to exude energy, or lean back to appear more relaxed.
Don't cross your arms across your chest as a defensive move.
Don't touch your face or cover your mouth.
Don't touch the other party except for the handshake.
To increase trust, keep both hands out in the open, not in your pockets or under the table.
Do not grip your hands or clasp in the prayer position.
The Power of the Eyes
Most people show their true feelings through their eyes. To build confidence:
Make direct eye contact with everyone involved.
Smile comfortably with your eyes as well as your mouth.
If possible, watch the pupils of their eyes. Pupils dilate when they see something they like.
Stare or glare.
Look away when someone is talking to you.
Roll or rapidly move your eyes.
Blink often. The more a person blinks, the less he or she is trusted.

Do You Know How to Give the Best Handjobs?

1. Doing it dry If you don't want a sore, red, inflamed cock after all is said and done, use some lube. Unless you have extraordinarily soft skin or are a maestro of the cock fiddle, rubbing a dry cock will just make it raw. If you don’t have any KY Jelly or hand lotion handy, you can at least use the natural bodily fluid most readily available: saliva. As long as you can work up a mouthful of spit, there’s no excuse for a dry hand job.
2. Unrelated chatter Focus on the task at hand! No chatting on the cell phone with your friends or musing about dinner plans. Permissible topics of discussion include:
how huge his cock feels in your hand, how wet he is making you, and how desperately you want him to come all over your face.
3. Fingernails Long, pointy, or roughly cut fingernails present a handjob hazard. They can poke, scrape, pinch, and gouge if you’re not careful. Accidents are most likely to happen when you’re moving too fast, so if you have long nails, take it slow and be careful. Fingernails can be used to good effect if you use them very lightly to caress or tickle his cock and balls. Using the backs, not the tips or edges, is recommended. If you’re not sure what you’re doing, don’t try, just keep them out of the way.
4. No rhythm In order to be pleasurable and build arousal to a climax, a handjob should have rhythm and continuity. It’s best to start slow and then steadily increase the pace till he pops off. Don’t stop and start or speed up and slow down randomly or for no reason. Once you start a handjob, you really have to keep at it until it’s over, or you lose the momentum (and he’ll lose his erection). Keep your hands on his dick, and keep them moving till he comes.
5. Limp grip When you shake hands with someone and their hand feels like a limp, dead fish, it’s creepy and unpleasant. Now imagine how it would feel to have that hand on your dick. Definitely not a turn on. A weak grip conveys lack of confidence, lack of enthusiasm for the job, or just downright distaste about touching a cock. It’s even worse if your hands are also cold and clammy. A weak grip combined with lackluster movement is the kiss of death for a hand job. Grasp his cock firmly (but not too firmly – see our next item) and stroke vigorously (but not too vigorously).
6. Vise grip Grabbing his cock in a death-grip is also a huge handjob mistake. A light but firm grasp is adequate. Remember, “choking the chicken” is just an expression. Putting a stranglehold on his cock is counterproductive. Also, while it can feel good to have the outer skin of the dick pulled back and forth over the shaft, you really need to move your hands over the surface too - don’t just grab one spot and start jerking up and down.
7. Wearing rings This is a no-brainer. You need to take off your rings before you give a hand job. They don’t “add sensation” – or they do, but the wrong kind. Rings can scratch and bump the delicate skin of the cock. They’re distracting. And they can get caught in his pubic hair. Needless to say, if you’re wearing a wedding or engagement ring, this goes double.
8. Nut crunching Unless he specifically says that he likes it rough, don’t squeeze, pull, or twist his nutsack. This can be painful. Many guys like to have their balls massaged, rubbed, or gently tugged during a handjob. But don’t grab them and knead them like a stress-ball. A light touch is best.
9. Smoking Smoking during a handjob is the kind of thing you might expect from a cheap hooker with a bad attitude, but don’t be surprised if you also encounter it from a party girl wasted on too many Slippery Nipples. In any case, we can’t emphasize this enough: Cigarettes and handjobs do not mix. Guys, don’t ever let anyone holding a burning object anywhere near your crotch. Smoldering ashes in the groin, scorch marks on the dick, blazing pubes - the potential for tragedy is just too great.
10. Not Cleaning Up After A good handjob should leave your man glowing in a state of relaxed post-ejaculatory bliss. And it will also leave a mess, gobs of jism, lube, and pubic hair. Keep a hot, wet towel at the ready, or at least a tissue, to clean up afterwards. Nothing will ruin his good mood more than having to deal with the aftermath himself.

Stripper Research!

Psychologist Geoffrey Miller and colleagues tapped the talent at local gentlemen's clubs and counted tips made on lap dances. Dancers made about $70 an hour during their peak period of fertility, versus about $35 while menstruating and $50 in between.

Miller links the wage fluctuations to changes in body odor, waist-to-hip ratio, and facial features. Despite operating at the upper limits of flirtatiousness already, he says there may also be subtle shifts in their behavior—"how they talk and move when enticing a customer to buy a dance, and how they perform the dance itself."

Women on the pill averaged $37 (and had no performance peak) versus $53 for women off-pill. The contraceptive produces hormonal cues indicating early pregnancy, not an enticing target for a would-be suitor. Birth control could lead to many thousands of dollars lost every year.
The researchers were surprised that almost no one in the business had noticed the pattern before. But if you're a woman in any service-industry job looking to maximize your tips, Miller suggests scheduling more shifts for the phase right before ovulation: "It might help to know about this so that you can exploit these effects."

I Don't Need To Be Tied ... But It Adds to the Thrill!

Don't just believe me ... what do 15 other women have to say?

1. Gets Me Off
I enjoy anal sex to a large degree. The first time I did it was to please my boyfriend but I ended up enjoying it myself. I personally like to be held face down and have it forced on me. It’s very erotic and I really get off on it. - Debby, US
2. Wish I’d Known Sooner
I just had anal sex and it was the greatest feeling in my life. Yes, at first it hurt a little. However, it was well worth it. If I would have known it felt like that I would have done it years ago. - Anonymous, Vancouver, BC

3. Happy Bunny
Anal, I love it. It has to be my favorite sex act. We usually do it 3-4 times weekly. My preference is to finger my cunt a little and let my cum trickle down between my ass crack, and then I’m ready for some deep ass pounding. As long as it’s deep and hard, I’m a happy bunny!

4. Loving Bond
My husband and I have been having anal sex for about 15 years now. We both like this kinky exercise. We have the strongest orgasms then. Our naughty sex practices are a firm bond to our relationship. - BB, UK

5. I’d Never Do Without Anal
Anal sex is a regular part of our sex life and I would never do without it. My preference is anal sex with me in the doggy position. No matter how he's stretched me with his fingers there's still some resistance and I admit to loving it. Once his head is in he pauses and gives me time to adjust. The feeling is exquisite and I have to keep my hand off my clit because I could cum right then. It's all so damn wicked and I love giving myself to him this way. I love the times he gets balls deep and slams away while I play with my clit, teasing myself, almost cumming. When I have to cum I let him know and tell him to cum up my ass. I rub my clit wildly while he slides in and out and explodes magnificently. I love anal sex! – Karen, US

6. Best Feeling Ever
One night while he was licking my ass he asked if he could fuck it, so I said yes. He literally ran to the bathroom and grabbed the lube. After a few minutes of massaging my asshole he lubed up and slowly pushed it inside and it was one of the best sexual feelings I’ve ever experienced. I could tell he liked it even though he won't admit it, and when we do have anal sex now he makes it seem like it's just for me but he is never as hard as he is when we have anal sex and he never makes the noises he makes with anal any other time either. We both secretly know that he loves it whether he'll admit it or not. – Anonymous, US

7. Mind-blowing First Time
LUBE LUBE LUBE!!! The size of my guy’s cock frightened me when we first thought about anal. But with plenty of lube, and patience, and it was a mind-blowing first time. Just relax and he will slide right in. Like they say, too much lube is almost enough. Just remember to relax, and again I stress the lube! - Anonymous, Michigan

8. Better Than Vaginal
Six months ago I finally got around to trying anal sex. Fantastic! The best sex in my life. My husband was not patient, but I took it all the way in. I love the feeling of him cumming in my ass - it turns me on...better than vaginal. – Mimi, Dominican Republic

9. Anal Fantasies
I LOVE anal sex. It's better than vaginal once you get used to it. It gives the best orgasms ever, and guys...if you're patient, go slowly and get her really worked up first, she'll end up asking you for it. My husband and I have been having anal sex for nearly 7 years now, and I find myself having fantasies about getting fucked anally because I love it so much now. Just take your time, and she'll reward you! - Anonymous, WA

10. Harder Is Better
Use a lot of lube. Start on your side, then when it is feeling really good, start doing it in doggy style - it increases the pleasure. And the harder he pounds it the better it feels (harder is always better). It only hurts for a minute, then the pleasure is overwhelming. – Angela, Detroit
11. My Special Treat
I am in a recent committed relationship with a man (much older than myself) who has taken me to new heights of sexual pleasure I could only have imagined! He has been so caring and careful in venturing into anal sex that I have literally become addicted to him fucking my ass! It is my special treat and now he often waits for me to beg for it...which I usually do, because it just drives me wild. I never in a million years thought I would enjoy getting fucked in the ass so much! - Anonymous, MD

12. I Look Forward to It
Definitely get a butt plug - they are great for getting your asshole ready for his cock. Lube up your hole and the butt plug and either insert it yourself at your own pace or have him do it with your guidance. I used to hate anal sex before we got a butt plug. Now I look forward to it and actually ASK my husband if he wants to do me in the ass. He has never refused! A few times, we have also used a dildo up my pussy while he did my butt - and THAT is one hell of a full and sexy feeling! Try it! - Jenny, Chicago

13. Fantastic Orgasms
When I first had anal sex it hurt a lot and I cried a little, but it never stopped me from trying it again and I am glad that I didn’t stop. I have had the most fantastic orgasms in my life though my ass, but I have had to teach my husband to be gentle at first because the shock is too much. But after a few minutes he can be as hard and rough as he likes and I love it. - Moyia, England

14. I Ask Him for Anal
I never liked the idea of anal before, but my husband always says he loves my ass and is so turned on by it. I let him tongue my anus all the time, but finally I gave in and let him do my ass. We used lots of KY and he started off with fingers, then a butt plug he bought. I have to say that once his cock was in my ass, I loved it. I told him to slap my ass and play with my clit and holy jeez - I had the best orgasm ever. Now I ask HIM when he wants to do me in the ass again, and he always says, "How about now?!" So we do it once or twice a week. - Anonymous, Illinois

15. Want to Try It Again
I tried anal sex last night. It was the first time, and we used a lot of lube. It was very uncomfortable at first, but then it got really fun. I am excited to feel what the second time is like. - Jennifer, US

+ 1 - Nikkij says:
I absolutely love anal sex. At first it hurt tremendously but Use a lot of lube. I love having a cock or strap-on in my ass. Definitely get a butt plug - they are great for getting your asshole ready for HIS cock or Her Strap-on. Lube up your hole and the butt plug and either insert it yourself at your own pace or have HIM or HER do it with some guidance

Has Anyone Recognized The Sports Stars?

How long is a gondoliers' oar?

The standard single oar used by gondoliers in Venice is 14 feet long.

A gòndola is a traditional Venetian sculling boat. Gondolas were for centuries the chief means of transportation within Venice and still have a role in public transport, serving as traghètti (ferries) over major canals.
The gondola is propelled by an oarsman (the gondolier) who stands facing the bow and pushes, rather than pulls, a single oar. Contrary to popular belief the gondola is never poled, as the waters of Venice are too deep. A gondola for passengers may have a small open cabin, for their protection against sun or rain. A sumptuary law of Venice required that gondolas should be painted black, and they are customarily so painted now.
It is estimated that there were several thousand gondolas during the 18th century. There are a few hundred today, most of which are for hire by tourists, while a few serve as traghetti or are in private ownership and use.

The construction of the gondola has continued to evolve until the late 19th century, when motorized boats began to replace gondolas in Venice. A gondola is long and narrow, with an asymmetrical outline to facilitate propulsion with a single oar, and a good deal of rocker (lengthwise curvature) to minimise the area of contact with the water. The oar or rèmo is held in an oar lock known as a fòrcola. The forcola is of a complicated shape, allowing several positions of the oar for slow forward rowing, powerful forward rowing, turning, slowing down and rowing backwards. The iron ornament on the front of the boat is called the fèrro. It serves to protect the prow from accidental damage, as decoration and as counterweight for the gondolier standing near the stern.

Gondolas are hand made using 8 different types of wood (fir, oak, cherry, walnut, elm, mahogany, larch and lime) and are composed of 280 pieces. The oars are made of beech wood and the left side of the gondola is made longer than the right side to counterbalance the weight of the gondolier.

Two Facts --- Venetian tradition dictates that couples must kiss under every bridge for Eternal Love.

A gondolier, under Venetian law, must have been born in Venice to practice this profession.

Lick It Like It's a Lollipop

This one is often used in porn films, because it allows him to see exactly what's going on. It's best done on your knees, and depending on your heights he might need to stand on something (you need direct access to his testicles).
Start by lifting his penis to expose his testicles, then find the line that runs up between them (it's a tiny ridge that's often a darker color). Find where this starts on the underside of his testicles, and that's where the long lick starts ‑- continuing, very slowly, right to the tip of his penis. Repeat the full-length licks until you've done at least 10, then move into one of the other techniques.

Great Steaks

A guy had told all of his friends about the great steak he'd eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if it was really as large and delicious as he was making it out to be. The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious, gigantic steaks. To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest steaks they'd ever seen. "Now see here," the very embarrassed guy said to the waiter. "Yesterday, when I came down here you served me a big, juicy steak. Today, though, when I have my friends with me, you serve tiny steaks! What is the meaning of this?" "Yes, sir," replied the waiter, "yesterday you were sitting by the window."

Nikkij Has Always Wanted To Be A Star!

Star in His Favorite Porn Love it or hate it, one of the reasons why men are so fond of pornography is that it's so over exaggerated. Add erotic flair to your repertoire by kissing him while you're both standing up, then dropping to your knees rather dramatically. Use one hand to guide his penis into your mouth, then ‑- maintaining intense eye contact throughout ‑- reach up with both hands to tweak his nipples.
The "Look, Mum, no hands!" pose looks far more accomplished than it is, but it will score you big oral sex brownie points.

Some Anal Thoughts From Some Friends

Don’t Miss Out!
At first it hurt tremendously but my partner was very gentle and patient. This was so incredibly good. I liked it so much and still do. Now with my boyfriend, we do anal once in a while and it hurts only on insertion, but he uses lots and lots of lube and he is very gentle. To me this is really great sex and once he's in my ass the feeling is so great. I just move my ass rhythmically to his thrusts until we both cum. My advice to you ladies: please don't be afraid to try anal sex because you are missing out on something great. - Anonymous, US

All I Need
I have the most intense orgasms you can imagine, even better than vaginal. I don't care if he ever fucks my pussy ever again. –Jane, TN

Eternal Thanks
My current boyfriend was constantly messing with my asshole, and I loved it. When he first started to penetrate me (using KY liquid), it was painful, but once he got a couple of inches inside, my muscles relaxed and IT WAS GREAT. My advice to first-timers: Bear with the pain - it only lasts about 30 seconds. Relax - it is a great sensation. Guide your partner - let him know if he is going too fast or too slow. Practice - it only gets better. Because so few women are willing to try or are unable to make it through the penetration, your partner will appreciate you forever! Trust me - M., SC

Practice Makes Perfect
I had anal sex for the first time last week, and we didn’t even use lube. The reason it worked so well was because I had lots of practice time by myself for months. I loved it and I was asking for it days later. He also came in me from behind and I loved the feeling. – Anonymous, CA

Highly Erotic
Last night was actually the first time I had successful anal sex -- and I had it twice. The "key" for me was lots and lots of practice alone beforehand. I recommend fooling around, fucking, fucking with your finger in your ass, then fucking with his finger in your ass before you try to let his cock in there. During the "transition time" when he's lubing up and getting ready, don't stop stimulating yourself, be that playing with your nipples or rubbing your clit or fucking yourself with a vibrator -- or all of the above. Take it slow, breathe deeply, take as many pauses as you need to. If you can't handle the thrusting, try masturbating and cumming while his cock is in your ass. The contractions will feel good for him and you will get more used to the whole idea and more willing to accept it as something highly, highly erotic. Mmm...I can't wait to do it again! - Jane, Kansas

The Deeper the Better
I enjoy it deep, very deep, with his balls banging against me. I cum and cum and cum! Enjoy anal - it’s the best! – Anonymous, UK

Nothing Like a Good Reaming
I love anal sex. I mean - I Love Anal Sex - there is nothing in the world like a cock reaming your asshole. An old boyfriend of mine would lick my asshole for an hour. God, that made me cum so hard, then he would lube my hole and his cock with K-Y Jelly and slowly insert it into my ass. Once fully in, he would start banging away and grabbing and pulling on my breasts like I like them to be treated. – Christine, OH

Slow and Steady
My husband and I do anal every month (at least) and we both really enjoy the act. Usually I lay on my side and we have a mirror positioned so we both can watch the proceedings. Once he has popped his knob in we pause (and gaze at the mirror). Once he is fully in he waits for me to cum before he shoots his load deep in my ass. The intimacy of these escapades make us closer and I love the full feeling it brings me. Slow and steady wins the race. – Tania, Canberra

Total Trust
We have never used any form of lubrication other than natural. We talk about everything and even start foreplay just through talking so we are both very wet when it is time for penetration. I have never trusted a man as I trust him, which allows me to completely relax with him. Anal orgasms are intense beyond belief. – Anonymous, IA

New and Wonderful
My man was constantly talking about anal sex but I thought of that as an exit only area. After a couple glasses of wine one night, he touched me there and it felt good so I let him go further. Since I naturally over-lubricate, he put the head in slow and it did not feel wrong. I orgasmed the very first time we had anal sex. I definitely recommend this to any couple who like to experiment and are open to new and wonderful things. - Kat, MI

Don't Be A Wimp!

Wimpy blowjobs are no fun. Be firm and suck him like you mean it. Lapping his dick lightly will just make him feel teased. Licking his dick like it's a lollipop or popsicle may be fun to get warmed up, but then you have to get down to business.

Use a firm (but not too firm) hand to work the shaft of his cock, while you get your mouth all over his knob and caress it with your tongue.

Curiosity and Results: What’s the Connection?

Curiosity has been given a bad rap. Perhaps we grew up hearing that asking questions was rude or conveyed ignorance, or that we’d get into trouble if we were like Curious George. We might even have been warned that “Curiosity killed the cat!”

The truth is that curiosity is one of the most vital and life-affirming qualities you can bring to your life and your relationships.

Curiosity in BusinessIt is so easy to blame others when things go wrong. Consider being curious about your experience rather than critical. For example, instead of beating yourself up for not reaching sales goals—again—try asking yourself what was going on for you that you kept performing below your expectations? With an attitude of “how fascinating that I’ve created this!” you are much more likely to help yourself find new solutions to attaining your goals.

Curiosity in Life Helen Keller said, “Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all!” When you cultivate an attitude of curiosity, doors open and adventures begin; questions lead to new possibilities. For example, asking yourself, “What do I want to learn now and where might that lead me?” can set you on a journey of exciting exploration that moves you forward. If, instead, you come from the place of “I already know what I need to know,” you shut off the possibility of discovering something new that could rock your world.

Curiosity in RelationshipsHow often we assume we know what someone else is thinking or experiencing. What if we came from a place of not knowing and offered others an invitation to speak? According to Sharon Ellison, creator of Powerful Non-Defensive Communication, “A non-defensive question is innocently curious, reflecting the purity of the child who asks how a flower grows or what makes an airplane fly.” We invite others to share their true experience when we ask questions without hidden agendas and to clarify understanding.

Practice Cultivating CuriosityHere are some ways to cultivate a more curious life.
Questions. Practice asking questions with openness and neutrality. Practice with strangers in stores and with people close to you. Stop thinking you know all the open to being surprised!
Inquiries. An inquiry is an open-ended question designed to broaden your perspective. For example: “What would make life a daring adventure for me?” “Where in my life do I assume I already know?”

Assumptions. These impact how we treat strangers as well as loved ones. Challenge your assumptions by asking, “What if that’s not true?” What other choices might you make then?

If you truly want to expand your excitement, joy and fulfillment in life and relationship, sprinkle liberal doses of curiosity and watch your life become the fabulous adventure it can be!


The number and sophistication of phishing scams are increasing. As a general rule, you should advise your employees and customers to be careful about giving out personal financial information over the Internet. The Anti-Phishing Working Group has compiled a list of recommendations that will help you avoid becoming a victim of these scams.

1.Be suspicious of any e-mail with urgent requests for personal financial information.
2.Don't be fooled by e-mails with upsetting or exciting (but false) statements that try to get you to react immediately.
3. If you suspect the message might not be authentic, don't use the links within the e-mail to get to a webpage.
4.Don't fill out forms in e-mail messages that ask for personal financial information.
5.Communicate information such as credit card numbers only via a secure website or the telephone.
6.To make sure you're on a secure Web server, check the beginning of the URL in your browser address bar. It should be "https" rather than "http." The "s" stands for secure.
7.Consider installing a Web browser toolbar such as EarthLink's ScamBlocker to alert you before you visit known phishing fraud websites.
8.If an e-mail message is not personalized, assume it's not a valid message.
9.Log in to your online accounts regularly, and check bank, credit and debit card statements to ensure that all transactions are legitimate.
10.Ensure that your browser is up-to-date and security patches
have been applied.

Still Funny

A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going.

So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.

His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed. So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie!

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."

"Did you dance much?"

"I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."

Thoughts While Contemplating My Day!

1. You don't want to be judged for your looks; we don't want to be judged for our wallets. Unless we're ugly and have lots of money. Then it's OK.
2. You're not the only person who likes to be called "sexy."
3. Saying "I love you" is a major step in a man's life. That's why we wait for you to take that step first.
4. We are not being cheap when we make $35,000 a year and can't afford to pay every single date. We are merely being practical.
5. A guy who spends too much time in the gym is making up for something else that's lacking. Unfortunately, you can't figure out what it is until it's too late.
6. Don't get mad at us because we don't remember what you were wearing on our first date, or the angle of the light during our first kiss. We were probably drunk.
7. You're good in bed if you make us feel like stallions.
8. Jealousy isn't a sign that you love us more; it's a sign that you trust us less.
9. Hanging up on us is a surefire way to make sure we go to bed mad.
10. We're sorry. Whatever it is, we're sorry.

Interesting Story!

One day, while living on the west coast, Jack received a call from his mother, still in New England.
"Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday," she told him.
Memories flashed in his mind like a movie trailer. He was speechless. He had almost forgotten about Mr. Belser.
"Right up until his death, he would ask about you every time I saw him," she added. "He liked to reminisce about the many days you spent on his side of the fence." She added, "After your father died, he stepped in to make sure you had a male influence in your life."
"I wouldn't be in the business at all if it weren't for him," Jack said. "I'll be there for the funeral." Mr. Belser taught Jack carpentry, among many other things.
During the flight home, Jack remembered how much he loved that old house Mr. Belser lived in. He also began thinking about his wife and children with whom he spent very little time.
The funeral was small and uneventful. Mr. Belser had no children of his own and very little family left.
Afterward, he and his mother visited the old house. Jack paused as he stood in the entryway. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every detail carefully preserved but with one exception. A small gold box that Mr. Belser always kept locked on top of his desk.
Jack must have asked a thousand times, "What's inside the box?" The answer was always the same "The thing I value most," the old man would say, and left it at that.
The box was gone. Now Jack would never know what was in the box.
Upon returning home, Jack received a package. It was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years before. The return address read "Mr. Harold Belser." Inside was a letter and the gold box.
His hands shaking, Jack opened the letter that read:
"Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It's the thing I valued most in my life." A small key was taped to the letter. Carefully, Jack unlocked the box. Inside was a beautiful gold pocket watch. Finely etched in the casing were the words, "Thanks for your time, Jack." - Harold Belser
Thank you for your time.

Some Explaining To Do ...

AC/DC Person who enjoys both same sex and opposite sex sexual activity; Bi; Bisexual.
ADULT Euphemism for pornographic.
ALL CULTURES Person or couple who enjoys all fetishes and sexual activities (see
ANAL Anal intercourse; Greek; Greek Culture.
ANIMAL TRAINING Sexual activity with animals usually dogs and women; Bestiality
ARTS Euphemism for fetishes; Cultures
B&D Bondage and discipline (see
BI Bisexual: Versatile(see
BIZARRE Unusual sexual desires; Way out
BONDAGE A sexual fetish in which restraints such as ropes, chains, cloth or leather straps are used to bind, tie or hold a participating sexual partner. The person doing the binding is considered "dominant" while the person being bound is considered "submissive."
CAN ENTERTAIN Advertiser willing to invite others to their home for swinging.
CAN TRAVEL Advertiser will travel to your home to swing.
CANING A spanking fetish employing a light cane usually bamboo or other light wood
CHEATING Sexual activity with others without spouse's knowledge and consent
CLEAN Hygienic; Free of sexually transmitted diseases
CLOSED SWINGING Sexual interaction among couples using separate rooms so that partners of a marriage or other intimate relationship do not visually observe each other's swinging. The rooms are almost always in the same house
CLOSET SWINGER A person who hides the he/she is a swinger.
COUPLE In swinging, a man and a woman. May be married, living together (cohabitating), committed (on going relationship) or a single couple dating for swinging purposes; CPL
CPL Couple
CULTURE Euphemism for Fetish, Arts
ENGLISH CULTURE: Sexual stimulation from spanking or caning
FRENCH CULTURE: Oral-genital sexual activity.
GREEK CULTURE: Anal-penile intercourse
ROMAN CULTURE: Sexual orgies
SWEDISH CULTURE: Use of the hands especially in massage to sexually stimulate another.
CUNNILINGUS Stimulation of the vagina and clitoris by the mouth especially the tongue and lips, and sometimes the teeth (see
DILDO An artificial penis, usually made of rubber or plastic, for sexual stimulation of the vagina and sometimes the anus
DIRECTOR The term used to describe the principal person who runs or otherwise operates a swing club, generally the owner. A person who works for the director and is responsible for party or club operation whether or not for pay, is generally call a Manager.
DISCIPLINE A sexual fetish in which one partner dominates the other, a willing participant. Often includes physical punishment of the submissive partner, ranges from physical restraint to mild spankings to painful beatings
DISCRETION Asking those who write or call to exercise caution so that children or others who may open mail or answer phone will not be offended and/or made aware of the swinging activity.
DOCILE Willing to receive bondage and/or discipline (see
DOMESTIC TRAINING Submissive obedience to household chores of an intimate and humiliating nature.
DOMINANT The sexual partner in control of the willing submissive partner
EXHIBITIONIST A person who is sexually stimulated by being seen or watched by others while showing sexual portions of the body or engaging in sexual acts.
F Female
FELLATIO Sexual stimulation of the penis by the mouth, especially by the tongue and lips and sometimes teeth.
FETISH Sexual arousal and pleasure through use of non-sexual objects, actions or non-genital anatomy
FLAGELLATION Sexual stimulation derived from pain, usually whipping or spanking
FUN AND GAMES Euphemism for sexual activity
GAY A homosexual person, male or female. A gay female may also be called a Lesbian.
GENEROUS Refers to money for sex.
GROUP ROOM Room set aside for group sex, generally furnished with wall-to-wall mattresses or pads. Term is prevalent in western US (see
GROUP SEX Swinging; Social-sexual activity between three or more people.
GROWTH SWINGING Social-sexual environment that promotes emotional, personal and social growth
HARD CORE A swing party or swing engagement where sexual interaction is assumed and expected.
HEAD Oral-genital sexual activity; "Giving head"
HEDONIST Lives for pleasure.
HETEROSEXUAL Sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex.
HOMOSEXUAL Sexual attraction to members of the same sex. (See
HORNY Sexually tense; In need of sexual pleasure.
HUMANIST Person who believes in human values, potential, self-respect of the individual, personal freedom and human rights.
HUNG Refers to a man with a large penis.
INDOOR SPORTS Swinging activities in general.
INTERESTED IN FRIENDSHIP Seeks a swinging relationship that includes emotional and recreational values. Used chiefly in personal ads and letters in answer to personal ads
LEATHER A fetish; Sexual stimulation through the wearing of leather garments.
LESBIAN A woman sexually and emotionally attracted to other women (see
MARITAL AIDS Dildos, vibrators, and other devices used for sexual pleasure of self and others.
MASOCHISM Sexual gratification through receiving pain and humiliation from others.
MASTER/SLAVE Participants in a bondage and discipline sexual relationship (see
MATROOM Room set aside for group sex. Principally an eastern US term (see
MEET FOR PLEASURE Will meet for swinging sex; no pretense for social or emotional interaction not directly related to sexual activity. Used chiefly in personal ads and letters in answer to personal ads.
MENAGE A' TROIS Three people, two of one sex, one of the opposite sex in a swinging interaction. May involve an on-going emotional relationship of the participants. {see
MORESOMES More than three people in a swinging interaction.
NEWCOMERS New people in swinging; First-timers
NONSMOKER Does not smoke. If used in personal ad means only those who do not smoke are sought for swinging purposes.
OPEN SWINGING A couple swinging with another couple in the same room; Several or all participating couples together in the same room; (Western U S ) swing party where participants socially mix and are free to swing as couples, in one-to-one pairings and group sex during the progress of the party.
ORGY Sexual interaction among several men and women in the same room; group sex.
PARTY Gathering of three or more people of both sexes for swinging.
PARTY CLOTHES Clothing particularly adapted for swing party wear, Includes wear to the party and wear to change into during the party The latter includes robes, lingerie, terry cloth wrap-arounds and other simple wear that is easily removed, shows the wearer to best advantage and often makes selected parts of the body easily available for erotic courting and play.
PARTY HOUSE (Western US ) A non-membership swing club offering a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties.
PASSIVE Quiet, submissive non-contributor, willing to receive corrective training. Docile and submissive in swinging (see DISCIPLINE)
PHOTO Interested in exchange of nude or sexually explicit photos of self with similar photos of others.
PHOTOGRAPHY Interested in exchange and/or making of nude or sexually explicit photographs, color slides or movies with similar photographs, slides or movies of others; interested in meeting with others for the making of these photographs.
P/P Photo and phone number (used in personal ads).
PRO Professional; i.e. prostitutes or paid escort.
RECREATIONAL SWINGER A person who practices swinging primary as a recreational diversion with no desire for emotional attachment.
RESTRAINT Mild bondage used in sexual fantasy enactments.
ROMAN v Group sex, orgies, the party scene, etc (se
RUBBER Condom means of contraception; sexual stimulation through the look, feel and smell of rubber, usually associated with
SAFE Used to describe a person who cannot conceive or impregnate; a man who has had a vasectomy.
S.A.S.E. Self-addressed stamped envelope.
SGL Single person.
S&M Sadism and Masochism (see SADISM,
SINGLE A swinger without a partner, single or married.
SOCIAL A party, dance or other gathering usually sponsored by a swing club or magazine, for swingers to meet and socialize. There is no swinging at a social but privately arranged swinging may follow a social.
SOCIAL SWING CLUB A swing club, generally private membership that offers social and swinging activities including a regular schedule of on-premise swing parties. They may also offer educational and travel activities. Usually there is a membership fee and either party fees, party donations or a regular maintenance fee or dues. Party attendance may be restricted to couples though the marital status of the couple is rarely important.
SOFT SWINGING A social, erotic swing party environment where sexual activity is common and available, but not required or assumed. Sometimes used to describe swapping up to, but not including intercourse. The term developed in Southern California in the early 1970's (see
S.T.D. or STD Sexually transmitted disease. A term developed in the late 1970's to replace VD as the latter carried social and moral implications in the minds of many. These social and moral implications interfered with the legitimate treatment of sexually transmitted diseases as a medical problem.
STR (see
STRAIGHT Non-swinger; A Swinger who is not interested in same sex sexual activity; A person who does not use drugs.
SWAPPING Two couples exchanging partners for sexual activity.
SWING MAGAZINE A periodical catering to the swinging community. Usually carries personal ads of people wishing to meet others for swinging purposes. May also publish articles of general interest to the swinging community.
SWINGING Social-sexual relational recreation among men and women. It is a couple oriented activity but single men and women sometimes are involved.
SWINGING LIFESTYLE Style of living with swinging a major component in recreation, choice of friends, business and social life, and intimate relationships.
SWINGING MARRIAGE Marriage incorporating swinging and often, humanistic ideals.
THREESOME Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a swinging encounter. Not the same as a "menage a' trois" in that the latter may involve emotional involvement and a continuing relationship.
TICKET A person, usually a woman, brought to a swing party solely to enable the man to gain entrance. The ticket generally has no intention to swing or is not free to swing.
TOYS Sexual aids (see
TRIAD Three people, two of one sex and one of the other in a continuing relationship of emotional and sexual involvement. Not the same as a threesome.
TRIOLISM Used in personal ads to indicate desire for "threesomes". This is a common but confusing usage (see
TUBAL LIGATION Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the fallopian tubes to make a woman infertile; A method of contraception. Also called a Band Aid Operation in reference to the small incision made just below the navel to enable the cutting and ligation.
UTOPIAN SWINGER A person who practices swinging as a total lifestyle with humanistic ideals.
VASECTOMY Surgical procedure of cutting and tying the vas deferens to make a man infertile; A method of contraception.
VERSATILE Bisexual. (see
VIBRATOR Electrically run vibrating device for stimulation of the vagina by insertion or holding to outer lips, clitoris, breasts and the male penis. Some vibrators are penile shaped and are run by batteries while more expensive ones are for surface use and are run by an AC motor from a typical wall outlet. Vibrators are used by both men and women for self-stimulation and to sexually please another.
VOLUPTUOUS Fullness of beauty and form; usually used to refer to a woman with large well-formed breasts; may also refer to full but well formed hips.
VOYEUR A person who enjoys and is stimulated by watching others in sexual acts