Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm Going Away For Awhile!

Quinn is not happy with me. HE says my attitude must change. I'm going away for awhile. I am not sure where and when I will be back. HE is not telling me. i am on a need to know basis and says this slut hasn't earned the need to know yet. Sorry. i have enjoyed your company but ...

Thank You!

March is not done yet but you have out done yourselves. This month has produced over 6000 visitors to the Kinky Adventures of Nikkij. That exceeds last month by over 200%. Unfortunately you didn't save me.




Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Poll Closed -- Who Would I Service Besides YOU?

60 % of YOU said anyone YOU Choose -- 34% said only YOU!

I Would Rather Be Red ...

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are riding in an elevator from the 14th floor to the lobby. The redhead notices a spot on the elevator wall and says, “That looks like a cum stain.” The brunette leans over and smells the stain. “Smells like a cum stain,” she says. The blonde leans over and tastes the spot, then says, “Well, it’s nobody from this building.”

Perfect Moment!

When Did You Last Flash In Public?

Friday, March 26, 2010

Some Emails ...

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over....)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

8 Questions for you!

1. Do you think that I am sexy?
2. How would you be with me if we had sex?
3. Would you love me?
4. Would you cook for me?
5. What special thing would you want to do for me or show me??
6. Would you Break My Heart?
7. How would you handle my surprise?
8. Will you call me the next day?

Just Get Me To The Chapel ...

How popular is the Vegas marriage?
More than 110,000 marriage licenses are issued in Las Vegas each year. There are no blood tests and no waiting period required. The Marriage License Bureau is open from 8 a.m. until midnight, Sunday through Thursday and 24 hours a day on Friday and Saturday. The most popular wedding days are New Year's Eve and St. Valentine's Day. Settings range from Casino/Hotel Wedding Chapels to helicopter ceremonies high above the Las Vegas "Strip," or for those in a hurry to start the honeymoon – there are even drive-up wedding chapels.

The Budget Doctor Orderred!

Cut out some waste and take advantage of a few overlooked deals, and you can rein in your budget without feeling like a penny-pincher.
1. Gas - Conserve Fuel in Any Car
5% of your household budget, up 21% from a year ago
Underinflated tires can cut your mileage per gallon by 5%, says Jesse Toprak of Check your tires once a month.
And lose the lead foot: You can save up to 33% by maintaining steadier, slower speeds.
Potential savings: About $800 a year - not to mention what you'll save in speeding tickets.
2. Gas - Take Advantage of Your Credit Card
If you pay in full each month, pick one, like Chase Freedom, that gives cash back on gas.
Forget it if you carry a balance: Rewards cards usually charge higher rates.
Potential savings: Up to $200 a year
3. Gas - Get Rid of the Guzzler
Making your next car a hybrid could triple your mileage per gallon. If gas stays above $3.60, a Toyota Camry hybrid makes up for its premium over the standard model in a year and a half.
Even if you don't go hybrid, choosing the most fuel-efficient vehicle in your car class can still save $200 to $1,500 a year in fuel costs.
To compare the true fuel cost for all 2008 models, go to or
Potential savings: $2,400 a year if you trade an SUV for a hybrid
4. Food - Learn Stupid Supermarket Tricks
14% of your household budgetUp 5% from a year ago
Stores use all kinds of marketing ploys to get you to buy more than you ever intended. "The supermarket is set up so that you will buy on impulse," says Marion Nestle, author of "What to Eat." The more you see, the more you purchase.
That's why they make you march all the way to the back to buy milk and they keep the aisles long and unbroken. So bring a list and stick to it, and never shop when hungry or tired, as you'll find it harder to resist temptation.
And search high and low. "The cheapest items are often on the top and bottom shelves, since companies pay for prime space on middle shelves and aisle ends," says Paco Underhill, author of "Why We Buy."
Potential savings: Up to $1,200 from cutting out just half of unplanned purchases
5. Food - Know When to Stock Up
You can get a weekly list of items going on sale at your local store, including sales that aren't advertised, at
The service costs $1 for a four-week trial or $10 for an eight-week subscription. Buy in bulk when deep discounts are on.
Potential savings: More than $1,000 a year
6. Food - A Little Home Cooking
Putting a homemade meal on the table five to seven nights a week the way your mother did may seem daunting.
In the new age of the Food Network and Williams-Sonoma, lots of moms and dads know how to whip up a mean saffron risotto for a Sunday night but never got the knack for the day-to-day basics.
To bone up on your home ec, check out Mitchell Davis' "Kitchen Sense" and Mark Bittman's "How to Cook Everything," which are loaded with recipes for quick and simple meals.
If you plan entrées with overlapping ingredients and buy everything for the week at once, you can not only save money but, often, put a dinner together in the time it would take to pick up takeout.
Potential savings: $50 a month
7. Home Energy - Seal Up Your House
4% of your household budgetUp 9% from a year ago
To find air leaks, conduct a home-energy audit following the instructions at or hire a pro to do it for $200 and up.
You can cut up to 25% of your heating and cooling costs by adding insulation and using caulk, spray foam and weatherstripping to seal leaks around windows and doors and in attics and basements.
Potential savings: $1,375 in five years, after materials
8. Home Energy - Get Efficient
Install an Energy Star programmable thermostat for $60 to turn down the heat when you sleep and raise it in the morning. (This makes climbing out of bed easier too.)
Be sure to change the air filter in your heating and cooling system at least every three months.
Potential savings: $220 a year
9. Home Energy - Slay the Vampires
So-called vampire appliances suck electricity even when you aren't using them.
Plug devices with standby power, such as TVs and stereos, into a power strip so you can turn them all off at once. (Some have timers to switch off at night.)
To further cut your electric bill, replace regular bulbs with compact fluorescents.
Potential savings: More than $300 over five years
10. College - Contribute to a 529 Plan Early and Often
1% of your household budgetUp 6% from a year ago
These state-sponsored plans let you exclude your college-savings earnings from federal and state taxes. Says Mark Kantrowitz of "The long-run return, with the tax savings, typically exceeds the normal 6% to 8% yearly tuition increase."
For calculators to estimate your total costs, as well as details about your state's 529, go to and To find out how much a school will cost, use the calculator to the right.
If your local plan charges more than 0.5% a year, consider another state's. (Note that you might lose a state tax deduction on contributions, but this is sometimes worth it.)
Opt for an Illinois or Ohio direct program - both offer investments with low fees and strong management.
Potential savings: About $5,000 in tax savings over 10 years
11. College - Max Out Cheap Federal Aid First
Before applying for any private loans, take out the maximum in federal, typically Stafford, loans. Their fixed rates - 6% to 6.8% - are generally less than private lenders' variable rates.
After you tap out Staffords, federal parent PLUS loans are generally the best deal.
Potential savings: $8,000 on $27,000 in loans in 10 years
12. Medical Costs - Choose Your Deductible Wisely
6% of your household budgetUp 4% from a year ago
If your company gives you a choice, you may be tempted by the lower premium on a high-deductible health plan.
These work for some people, but you face more financial risk if you get sick, and you may have to pay full price for most prescriptions until you meet the deductible.
High-deductible plans are generally best for younger people without health problems; others should stick with traditional plans.
Potential savings: High-deductible plans could save you $750 a year in premiums. But if you get seriously ill, a traditional plan could mean thousands less in bills.
13. Medical Costs - Don't Pay Taxes You Don't Have To
If you have a qualifying high-deductible health plan, make sure to contribute to a health savings account to fund your current and future medical bills.
If you have a traditional plan and your employer offers a flexible spending account, sign up. It lets you use untaxed salary to pay for many out-of-pocket health expenses.
Potential savings: About $280 for every $1,000 set aside
14. Medical Costs - Don't Be Afraid to Haggle
If you go out of network or are in a high-deductible health plan, ask the doctor for a discount.
You can get an idea of reasonable prices at your insurer's website or, for an $8 fee, at
One poll says that 60% of patients who negotiate with a doctor succeed. Your best bet: Offer to pay up front in cash.
Potential savings: $85 for a specialist consultation
And don't forget...
A dollar saved is a dollar saved, so you should look to trim any needless cost, even on goods not jumping in price. Here are four easy ways to find extra money you didn't even know you were spending.
15. Ask your credit-card issuer if you can get a lower rate.
16. Don't use all your minutes? Change cell plans.
17. Look at your insurance. You may want to lower the premium for your car insurance, for example, by raising your deductible.
18. If you really aren't going to the gym anymore or those Netflix envelopes sit there unopened, stop putting off the inevitable: Cancel.


Old Joke ... But Stll Funny!

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question....
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --

Monday, March 22, 2010

Pay Me Now ... or Pay Me Later?

I’ve had my car repaired at a your garage. I’ve “forgotten my wallet.” I’m suggesting another way to pay. I unbutton my blouse; then drop it to the floor. My perky c cups are stuffed into my lace bra.
You call in the other attendants. You lock the door. I suck off everyone. Until every one of is absolutely, totally satisfied.
What do you do when you find out I have been hiding my pantie surprise?

Lick Me Instead!

There is a sense of separation or loss regarding people close to you. A failure to connect or to say what you mean is troubling. You must take extra effort to express you deeper feelings toward people.

We Still Need Comments ..... Please!

We're getting a lot hits. Please give me some feedback. Please .........

Its My Pleasure!


You Must Always do HIM When HE Wants It!

Trying To Take It All In ...

Ready For You ....

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Is Anyone Reading The Stories?

Who Is Your Customer ....?

A customer is the life-blood of this and every other business
· A customer is the most important part of any business
· A customer is not dependent on us-we are dependent on the customer
· A customer is not an interruption of our work-the customer is the purpose of it
· A customer is a partner to our business-not an outsider
· A customer is not someone to argue or match wits with
· A customer has certain expectations-it is our job to fill these expectations
· A customer is deserving of our most courteous and attentive treatment always
· A customer makes it possible to pay your salary-no matter what position you hold

Leave a Good Tip

I did some interviews at one time of women not in the entertainment business. Please keep in mind that the women interviewed were professionals with commendable careers, some of them fantasized about just being strippers, while others took things a step further and imagined being prostitutes. Obviously, the fantasy is romanticized beyond belief because the life of either is not so glamorous that women would opt to have it as a career choice.

I did interview one woman who had beena striper who said ...

"While I'm performing a lap dance for my customer, he hands me a $100 bill and requests that I perform the lap dance... minus his pants. Of course I could not comply."
When I asked Amber, who a stripper at an upscale club, about her prostitution fantasy, she said, "The gentleman would pick me up in his expensive car and I would ride him in the driver's seat in some dingy back alley. He would pay me my fee and I'd be on my way." I lived it almost daily... "

Oh ... What Type of Arches!

How many countries have the golden arches?

There are more 25,000 McDonald's restaurants in over 115 countries. McDonald's has actually been remarkably responsive to the local cultures: they offer "ayran" (a popular chilled yogurt drink) in Turkey; McLaks (a grilled salmon sandwich) in Norway, and teriyaki burgers in Japan.
In New Delhi, India, where Hindus shun beef and Muslims refuse pork, the burgers are made of mutton and called Maharaja Macs. And if you're vegetarian, as many strict Hindus are, there's the McAloo Tikki burger, a spicy vegetarian patty made of potatoes and peas.

Juliette ...

And then he was a she

My first outing was at a party on the theme: "Outrageous!" Yes, with an exclamation mark. A group of gay men had shared a house, their lease was up (or were they under threat of eviction?) and a party demanded to be thrown.
At the time I was dating a girl, Juliette, who worked as a shop assistant with one of the housemates, and she was very excited at the prospect of going. Until it came to the problem of dressing me up. She wanted me to rent a fake uniform and get all the gay boys hot and bothered (fine by me) but the cheapest uniform-rental was still far too expensive for my university-induced insolvency.
Things were looking pretty grim - it was the day of the party and no outfit had been planned for me. "So what are you wearing, then?" I asked Juliette, who immediately began to describe the outrageously pink, tight, cleavage-displaying and just-below the crotch shortness of the dress she'd borrowed... and then she looked me up and down, face illuminated with the maniacal glee of perverted genius. "You know, you've got great legs!" Somehow this didn't particularly give me any comfort, the way she said it. Juliette was short, petite and brunette.
Her half-sister Justine was tall, curvy and had big feet. So we started with the shoes. It all hinged on the shoes - if she could get me into a pair of heels, worn with my own suit and a tie, I'd be properly outrageous, but in a discreet sort of way. Rummaging through her younger sister's shoe collection we found the prize find that was a nice pair of brilliant pink 4-inch heels. One small step later I was on the floor. After three more attempts at walking I was seriously considering gagging Juliette with a pair of Justine's tights. (Come to think about it, in retrospect I think she'd have loved it).
After a few more affronts to my dignity the balance improved, and by the time I learned to put some swing into my hips and allowed my body to accept the position that the heels forced it into, I began to do just fine - I sauntered, baby! That's when Justine came home, took one look at me in those heels and gasped "Omigod, I've got the perfect dress for him!" Juliette squeezed me into this tight, blood-red number with almost no fabric around the back, and a front that was held up by the collar - no straps. So my chest was fully covered in shiny, tight fabric, and my back and shoulders were exposed - their squareness exaggerated by the feminine shape of the dress. It did show off my legs, however.
The sisters made sure to point this out to me after they solved the obvious problem of my utter lack of man-breasts with a padded bra stuffed with sundry items out of Justine's sock drawer. Having done that, they of course wanted me to put on a pair of control-top tights to give me some curves. And shave my legs. I cooperated fully, even when the pair of them stood behind me, critically evaluating the visible panty line on my bottom - or rather, the visible jockey-shorts line - and declared that I could only pull this off if I went commando. I even sat still and had my face made up in a style that I can only describe as a cross between brazen hooker and Duchamp's "Nude Descending a Staircase".
The sisters, by contrast, looked hot. Short very short dresses, tight very tight tops, high extremely high heels, glimpses of stocking top and lacy bra straps, red lipstick, and enough hairspray to necessitate a toxic cleanup in the morning. We sure made an entrance at the party. Unfortunately for my drinking, I realized after my first glass of poisonously alcoholic fruit punch that my newfound talent for walking in stilettos didn't quite hold up under intoxication. So I held off on the drinks, while everyone else who wasn't worried about getting intimate with the pavement got blotto. One thing I hadn't anticipated about going out in dress, pantyhose and nothing else, was the trouble on the dance floor.
Juliette and I were wiggling away to some hilariously gay dance music, when suddenly she stretched up and whispered in my ear: "You've got a hardon, babe." As if I didn't know. But without the constraint of my normal jeans and shorts, there was nowhere for the erection to go but out - pushing the skirt up and out right there front and center for the world to see. I pulled Juliette closer to hide my condition, and she giggled naughtily, rubbing up against me, doing nothing to alleviate the situation. "What are you doing?" I asked. She was wearing the hot pink number that had started this whole thing off. "Making trouble," she giggled. "What are you going to do about it?"
Without answering I took her hand and pushed her in front of me out of the living room, up the stairs, and into a bedroom I had noticed earlier was full of packed boxes, neatly stacked. We kissed, hungry, rushed, and I pushed her up against a stack of cartons that began to wobble dangerously. "We've got to get back downstairs, someone will notice..." she whispered, while at the same time her hand was reaching under my skirt to rub my hard cock through the pantyhose. "Well, then, since you got me into this, it's your job to keep me looking decent before we get home and I can fuck your brains out properly."
Juliette smiled and crouched down in front of me. Stroking my smoothly shaved thighs she pushed the dress up and began to nibble at my cock, the nylon between her teeth and my cock. She pulled the fabric down, releasing my aching shaft out of the tights and took it in her mouth eagerly. It was a rushed, furtive, quiet blowjob, and I could tell from the way she took me in her mouth she was simultaneously turned on and horrified at the thought of someone walking in to see her crouched in front of me, sucking me off while I held my dress up in front of me. I managed not to gasp as I came in her mouth. In the half-light I noticed that she had left red smudges of lipstick on me, up and down the shaft. We reapplied some lipstick, powder and mascara in the half-light of the room. I was daubing my lips with red, very carefully, when Justine stomped in. "Where have you been?" she asked, suspicious. "The bathroom was occupied, we had to fix our makeup."
"In the dark?" I flipped on the light. The one bare bulb dangling from the ceiling did us no favors. This is the problem with girls like me you don't want to look too closely. A while later, when it was time to leave and I had been discreetly stroking and fondling Juliette, impatient to get her spread-legged in bed so I could thank her properly for the night out, she nudged me with her elbow: "I don't like the way those boys are looking at you - let's go home." Outside I had the best luck ever hailing a cab. We were halfway to Juliette's place when we realized we'd left Justine back at the party. "Should we turn around?" she asked me. I pulled her hand to me and all the way up my dress. "No, I don't think so."

Mre Captions From Talented People

Ni hao.... Namaste ... Hola ... Zdravstvuite... Bonjour

The top 10 languages spoken in the world?

10. French -- Number of speakers: 129 million Often called the most romantic language in the world, French is spoken in tons of countries, including Belgium, Canada, Rwanda, Cameroon, and Haiti. Oh, and France too. We're actually very lucky that French is so popular, because without it, we might have been stuck with Dutch Toast, Dutch Fries, and Dutch kissing (ew!). To say "hello" in French, say "Bonjour" (bone-JOOR).
9. Malay—Indonesian Number of speakers: 159 million Malay-Indonesian is spoken - surprise - in Malaysia and Indonesia. Actually, we kinda fudged the numbers on this one because there are many dialects of Malay, the most popular of which is Indonesian. But they're all pretty much based on the same root language, which makes it the ninth most-spoken in the world.Indonesia is a fascinating place; a nation made up of over 13,000 islands it is the sixth most populated country in the world. Malaysia borders on two of the larger parts of Indonesia (including the island of Borneo), and is mostly known for its capital city of Kuala Lumpur. To say "hello" in Indonesian, say "Selamat pagi" (se-LA-maht PA-gee).
8. Portuguese -- Number of speakers: 191 million Think of Portuguese as the little language that could. In the 12th Century, Portugal won its independence from Spain and expanded all over the world with the help of its famous explorers like Vasco da Gama and Prince Henry the Navigator. (Good thing Henry became a navigator . . . could you imagine if a guy named "Prince Henry the Navigator" became a florist?) Because Portugal got in so early on the exploring game, the language established itself all over the world, especially in Brazil (where it's the national language), Macau, Angola, Venezuela, and Mozambique. To say "hello" in Portuguese, say "Bom dia" (bohn DEE-ah).
7. Bengali -- Number of speakers: 211 million In Bangladesh, a country of 120+ million people, just about everybody speaks Bengali. And because Bangladesh is virtually surrounded by India (where the population is growing so fast, just breathing the air can get you pregnant), the number of Bengali speakers in the world is much higher than most people would expect. To say "hello" in Bengali, say "Ei Je" (EYE-jay).
6. Arabic -- Number of speakers: 246 million Arabic, one of the world's oldest languages, is spoken in the Middle East, with speakers found in countries such as Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Iraq, Syria, Jordan, Lebanon, and Egypt. Furthermore, because Arabic is the language of the Koran, millions of Moslems in other countries speak Arabic as well. So many people have a working knowledge of Arabic, in fact, that in 1974 it was made the sixth official language of the United Nations. To say "hello" in Arabic, say "Al salaam a'alaykum" (Ahl sah-LAHM ah ah-LAY-koom)
5. Russian -- Number of speakers: 277 million Mikhail Gorbachev, Boris Yeltsin, and Yakov Smirnoff are among the millions of Russian speakers out there. Sure, we used to think of them as our Commie enemies. Now we think of them as our Commie friends. One of the six languages in the UN, Russian is spoken not only in the Mother Country, but also in Belarus, Kazakhstan, and the U.S. (to name just a few places). To say "hello" in Russian, say "Zdravstvuite" (ZDRAST-vet- yah).
4. Spanish -- Number of speakers: 392 million Aside from all of those kids who take it in high school, Spanish is spoken in just about every South American and Central American country, not to mention Spain, Cuba, and the U.S. There is a particular interest in Spanish in the U.S., as many English words are borrowed from the language, including: tornado, bonanza, patio, quesadilla, enchilada, and taco grande supreme. To say "hello" in Spanish, say "Hola" (OH-la).
3. Hindustani -- Number of speakers: 497 million Hindustani is the primary language of India's crowded population, and it encompasses a huge number of dialects (of which the most commonly spoken is Hindi). While many predict that the population of India will soon surpass that of China, the prominence of English in India prevents Hindustani from surpassing the most popular language in the world. If you're interested in learning a little Hindi, there's a very easy way: rent an Indian movie. The film industry in India is the most prolific in the world, making thousands of action/romance/ musicals every year. To say "hello" in Hindustani, say "Namaste" (Nah-MAH-stay) .
2. English -- Number of speakers: 508 million While English doesn't have the most speakers, it is the official language of more countries than any other language. Its speakers hail from all around the world, including the U.S., Australia, England, Zimbabwe, the Caribbean, Hong Kong, South Africa, and Canada. We'd tell you more about English, but you probably feel pretty comfortable with the language already. Let's just move on to the most popular language in the world. To say "hello" in English, say "What's up, freak?" (watz-UP-freek) .
1. Mandarin -- Number of speakers: 1 billion+ Surprise, surprise, the most widely spoken language on the planet is based in the most populated country on the planet, China. Beating second-place English by a 2 to 1 ratio, but don't let that lull you into thinking that Mandarin is easy to learn. Speaking Mandarin can be really tough, because each word can be pronounced in four ways (or "tones"), and a beginner will invariably have trouble distinguishing one tone from another. But if over a billion people could do it, so could you. Try saying hello!
To say "hello" in Mandarin, say "Ni hao" (Nee HaOW). ("Hao" is pronounced as one syllable, but the tone requires that you let your voice drop midway, and then raise it again at the end.)

Do You Need To Shake Your Head?

The Head Shake Don't emulate the exaggerated oral techniques in porn movies, especially that move where the guy sticks his tongue straight out and instead of licking, shakes his whole head side to side between the woman's legs till his ears slap against her thighs.
It looks dumb even on camera and it doesn't work in real life.

It's good to lick, and it's good to keep your tongue loose and relaxed. But don't get sloppy or slobbery. Use a little restraint and don't pant. If your oral technique reminds her of her pet Golden Retriever, that won't be a turn-on. At least, we hope not.
A Woman knows what another woman wants ... trust so does a tgirl!

In Just One Sentence - Lick

There's something irresistible in the movement when she pounces down and takes the head of my tgirl clit between her lips, and swirls her tongue around it in alternating slow/fast circles that make my brain spin at the same speed of rotation, irresistible when she sucks delicately on the fat end, and strokes the shaft at the same time with her hand, slippery with spit or whatever unnatural substance she's just squirted out of a brightly colored bottle of lube, irresistibly longing to end up with a mouthful of cum.

Tip Etiquette

Scenario: After a few hours at a $10 blackjack table in Las Vegas, you suddenly hit two blackjacks in a row and find yourself up $150.

How Much To Tip--And Why: $20. Casino dealers aren't tipped as consistently as, say, waiters. But it's good karma (which every gambler needs) to tip an occasional chip or two, especially when you're winning. And absolutely tip the waitresses serving free cocktails: $2 per drink at the minimum. There's no need to tip if you've only played two hands at a table, however. And if you're down a few hundred bucks, tipping the dealer doesn't guarantee your fortunes will change.

Fernanda Zocal