Saturday, October 24, 2009

Depends on What's Being Taped!

Ornithologists often use Scotch tape to cover cracks in the soft shells of fertilized pigeon eggs, allowing the eggs to hatch. Scotch tape has also been used as an anti-corrosive shield on the Goodyear Blimp.

What Else Are Greek Noted?

How large is Greece?
The land area of the country of Greece is slightly smaller than Alabama.

Enjoying Dessert

Sometimes For The Enjoyment

You're apt to feel confusion in new situations. You need to take extra time to orient yourself, to learn the rules and expectations. You need to emphasize understanding why things are done, rather than simply individual tasks.

Can Be Tough To Be A Pro Football Fan Sometimes

HEADLINE: "D.C. Police are "cracking" down on speeders. For the first offense, they give you two Redskins tickets. (If you get stopped a secondtime, they give you two Nationals tickets.)"

Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A. The Washington Redskins.

Q. What do the Redskins and Billy Graham have in common?

A. They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?

A. Put up a goal post.

Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?

A. To FedEx Field - they never have a touchdown there!

Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?

A. Senior Citizen

Q. What's the difference between the Redskins and a dollar bill?

A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q. How many Redskins does it take to win a Super Bowl?

A. We may never find out in the 21st century.

Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common?

A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Resting Now!

I Love Public!

She's Playing My Song!

May They Rest In Peace!

How many people are buried at Arlington?
More than 260,000 people are buried at Arlington Cemetery. Arlington National Cemetery conducts approximately 5,400 burials each year. Funerals, including interments and inurnments, average 20 a day. Arlington National Cemetery has the second-largest number of people buried of any national cemetery in the United States. The largest of the 130 national cemeteries is the Calverton National Cemetery, on Long Island, near Farmingdale, New York. That cemetery conducts more than 7,000 burials each year.

Let Me Get A Closer Look!

Do bald eagles need Rogaine?
Bald eagles are not bald. The top of their head is covered with slicked-down white feathers; from a distance, they appear hairless.

Beaver Hunting!

Until You Find Another Place For It!

The young hooker reports for her first day at the brothel. The madam says to her, ” Do you have any questions?” The hooker replies, ” Yes, I was wondering how long penises should be sucked?” The madam says,” The same as the short ones”.

Minimum Age You said ...

Which state was first with a minimum wage?
The first state minimum wage law in the U.S. went into effect in Massachusetts on July 1, 1913. It would be another 25 years before the minimum wage law went into effect nationally.

Nikkij Is Always Getting a Mouthful!

What McDonald's menu staple can't you find in India?
A few years ago when McDonald’s wanted to open new restaurants in India, it had to eliminate the portion of its menu that Americans equate with the fast-food giant: hamburgers.
Hindus, who make up a large portion of India’s population, consider the cow a sacred animal and its slaughter a sacrilege. Indian customers at McDonald's can instead order a “Maharaja Mac” -- two all-lamb patties.

Captain... My Captain

Today's Word "Patina"

Patina \PAT-n-uh; puh-TEEN-uh\ (noun) - 1 : The color or incrustation which age gives to works of art; especially, the green rust which covers ancient bronzes, coins, and medals. 2 : The sheen on any surface, produced by age and use. 3 : An appearance or aura produced by habit, practice, or use. 4 : A superficial layer or exterior.

"The banks of overhead lights had given an antique patina to the plant's bizarre coppery tones." -- Robert A. Granger, 'One Is Infinity'

Patina is adopted from Italian, from Latin patina, "a dish" (from the incrustation on ancient metal plates and dishes).

What Could They Possibly Be During Here?

Clean Me Up ...

You are involved in very toxic situations, perhaps emotionally, perhaps environmentally. You need to pay close attention to basic solutions as superficial clean-up work is more appealing but allows a relapse.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Clean Everything

Can You Ease Depression By Cleaning Your Home More Often

Now when it comes to soothing people who are going through depression one of the many things that come to mind are counseling and medication. While those are two mainstream ways to deal with depression, there is one way that is subtle and does help in getting things back to a happy state. It isn't going to totally cure depression but it is one piece of the puzzle when it comes to helping that individual lift their depressed state and that is having a clean home.
Don't believe me? Here's why it helps:

1. Distraction - In all cases with a depressed individual there is something deeply bothering them that they just can't stop thinking about. Cleaning your home is a great distraction that diverts attention away from that problem. It's not exactly easy to let your mind wander into sad thoughts as you are focused in on a task at hand.

2. "I did it!" - After a home is cleaned meticulously the result is usually a very organized and neat area that looks very nice. The feelings of satisfaction and positive reinforcement that you are you doing something positive is another way to divert all that negative emotion packed inside. Especially if you did it all on your own, you will have a feeling of accomplishment.

3. Ongoing reinforcement - Now that you have cleaned your home once and have experienced the benefits of a clean home. You are now in the positive thought vibration and you have to recognize that. Now that you are aware of this, cleaning your home will become like a "booster" if you ever begin to feel down. Simply distract your mind again, and get a clean home - good trade off don't you think?
Shelly Garrett

What Else is Popular There.... I Wonder?

Is marijuana popular in the Netherlands?
In the Netherlands, marijuana is not officially legal, but people are able to buy grass, hashish, loose joints, smoking paraphernalia, and seeds in registered "coffee shops". Magic mushrooms are also available. Despite such easy access, only about 5 percent of the population indulges.

Nikkij is OfAge

Today's Word "nonage"
nonage \NON-ij; NOH-nij\ (noun) - 1. The time of life before a person becomes legally of age. 2 : A period of youth or immaturity. "In him there is a hope of government, Which, in his nonage, council under him,And in his full and ripen'd years himself, No doubt shall then, and till then, govern well." -- William Shakespeare, 'King Richard III' Nonage comes from non- (from Latin) + age, from Old French aage, eage, from Latin aetas, "age."

Pumping For Fresh ....

If the fresh water of the earth (only 1.6 percent of the water on the planet) was divided equally among all the people on earth, each one would get 40 million gallons.

Do You Eat Before You ...

Prior to migration a goose will consume the equivalent of up to 25 percent of its body weight per day, accumulating large amounts of fat. During the migration, geese may cover up to 600 miles per day. At the end of the migration, they often weigh less than before they started fattening up in preparation.


Everyman's Dream!

The Fifty Plus Club....

Be Sure ...

You are extremely prone to misunderstanding today. What you hear is mostly what you want to hear. Pay close attention and ask questions to ensure that you have understood correctly. You need to be on the same wavelength.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Dollar Versus The Euro

Gold underpinned as buying expected at $990-$985/oz Gold fell below $990 (R7 395) an ounce on Monday as a rise in the dollar versus the euro weighed on the precious metal, whose inability to stay above $1 000 has disappointed some investors. Gold's inverse relationship with the dollar over the past few weeks has become stronger. Gold is often considered an alternative asset to the greenback, while a higher dollar makes commodities expensive for holders of other...

Money Laundering ... Let Tara Do It!

Currency of Choice

For decades, the U.S. dollar has been the most popular currency for launders to use. Its popularity is due to its wide acceptance and the volume of worldwide transactions that use the currency -- a few million extra dollars changing hands doesn't attract attention. However, the euro has slowly gained a foothold in the laundering industry since its introduction into common use in 2002. As far as money laundering goes, the euro could be the perfect currency: It is the main legal tender of more than a dozen coun­tries, meaning it circulates in tremendous volume and moves regularly across borders without any notice at all.

Clip ... Clip

The Hair Cut... One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Democratic Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

More Differences ...

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS -- A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.. The sales girl notice s him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, ' Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, ' You see, it ' s like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it ' s sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .... so does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

WIFE VS. HUSBAND -- A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, ' Relatives of yours? ' ' Yep, ' the wife replied, ' in-laws.
WORDS -- A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ' What? '
CREATION -- A man said to his wife one day, ' I don ' t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, ' Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT -- A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, ' You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee. 'Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.' Husband replies, ' I can't believe that, show me. ' So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ' HEBREWS '
The Silent Treatment-- A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM. 'He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, ' It is 5:00 AM. Wake up. ' Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece

You Don't Have These Issues with a TGirl

WOMAN ' S PERFECT BREAKFAST -- She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

WOMEN'S REVENGE -- ' Cash, check or charge? 'I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote? 'I asked. 'No, ' she replied , 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally. '

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN ' S PERSPECTIVE) -- I know I ' m not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR -- While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, ' It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.' He addressed the man, ' Can you name your wife's favorite flower? ' Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, ' It' s Pillsbury, isn't it?

I Have No Morals ... Sometimes


You are driving down the road in your 2-seater sports car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: 'I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.Never forget to, 'Think Outside of the Box’.

HOWEVER.... the correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery because she has no health care anyway; have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers.
God, I love happy endings!


Was That A Fake Orgasm?

Was the bronze cat a fake?
A bronze cat, believed to be 2,300 years old, was one of the most popular sculptures in the Egyptian Wing of the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. Despite its popularity for nearly 25 years, a few museum officials had reason to doubt the statue's authenticity. After X-raying the 15-inch-high figure and scanning a small portion of it with an electron microscope, the museum reluctantly declared in 1987 that the sculpture was “in all probability a modern forgery.”

Is She Fingering A Nook or Cranny?

What's the difference between a nook and a cranny?
The difference between a nook and a cranny: A nook is a corner and a cranny is a crack.

People That Know Me ... Know That I Am Always Horny!

When did you wear your heart on your sleeve?
In the Middle Ages, one Valentine's Day custom was for young men and women to draw names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would then wear these names on their sleeves for one week. “To wear your heart on your sleeve” now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.

A Perfect Afternoon Delight!

Have You?

Today's Word "Fetid"

Fetid \FET-id; FEE-tid\ (adjective) - Having an offensive smell; stinking. "When Savigny returned to his fetid sty of a hutch, he found a veritable pandemonium, a huddle of men stringing their hammocks against every available hook on the beams." -- Arabella Edge, 'The God of Spring' Fetid derives from Latin fetidus, from fetere, "to stink."

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Today's Word "Meticulous"

Meticulous \muh-TIK-yuh-luhs\ (adjective) - Extremely or excessively careful about details.
"Starling was an efficient housekeeper, but not a meticulous one. Her side of the duplex was clean and she could find everything, but stuff tended to pile up..." -- Thomas Harris, 'Hannibal'
Meticulous ultimately derives from Latin meticulosus "fearful" (from metus, "fear"). The present sense stems from French méticuleux "overscrupulous." In present day English, the word usually carries a more positive connotation and is synonymous with precise and punctilious.

... One You Can Slip Our of Easily

One Friday afternoon, two secretaries were hanging around the water cooler at the office. “Veronica, I just don’t know what to do,” Gloria said to her friend at work. “That good-looking Alex in accounting asked me out on a date for Saturday night. Should I go?” “Oh, my God!” her friend exclaimed. “He’ll wine you, dine you, and then use any ruse to get you up to his apartment. Then he’ll rip off your dress and you’ll have fantastic sex!” “What should I do?” asked Gloria. Her friend quickly replied, “Wear an old dress.”