Tuesday, June 30, 2009

So Are Diamonds A TGirl's Best Friend?

What's the Difference in Corundum?

The ruby, sapphire, emerald, and aquamarine are not specific minerals. The ruby is the red and the sapphire is the blue variety of corundum. An emerald is the green variety and an aquamarine is the blue variety of beryl.
Corundum is an extremely hard mineral, aluminum oxide, Al2O3, sometimes containing iron, magnesia, or silica, that occurs in gem varieties such as ruby and sapphire and in a common black, brown, or blue form used chiefly in abrasives. Nikkij is not a big jewelry girl Don't get me wrong, I wear jewelry but I want more from my lover ... flowers are not important to me either. Flowers are normally given by a man who has not been "right" by his girl.

So what tribute would you give Nikkij?

Why are phone number seven digits?

The short-term memory capacity for most people is between five and nine items or digits. This is one reason that phone numbers were kept to seven digits (not including area code).

You Know You Are Drunk When ....

  • You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.

  • You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the ladies room.

  • You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.

  • In your last trip to "pee" you realize you now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.

  • You drop your 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on eating.

  • You start crying.

  • There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.

  • You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.

  • The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.

  • The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming.

  • You've forgotten where you live.

  • You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10x's by now) you only smoke when you drink.

  • You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin or vodka.

  • You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.

  • You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..."

  • You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.

  • Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

  • You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).

  • You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really want to. (which of course I can do anyway).

What Describes You Perfect Date?

  1. Candlelight dinner for two at a posh restaurant

  2. Rock concert

  3. Doing the “wild” thing

  4. Cozy dinner at home

  5. In a bar with your girls and your boys

  6. Movie theatre with Other Friends

  7. Foursome ... and I don't mean golf

  8. Center of Attention at a Bondage Party!

  9. Home Alone

  10. Or ....

Have You Taken Your Bath Today?

In 1845 Boston had an ordinance banning bathing unless you had a doctor's prescription.

Have You Had Yours Today?

Bad Breath from Coffee

Bad breath can be caused by a lot of things ... including, unfortunately for those of you who rely on it, coffee! If you find you have "coffee breath," switching to decaf won't help. Just try to cut back, or make sure to use breath-freshening products as often as possible.

Take My Cherry ...

Take My Cheery ... Oops Someone Already Has!


I am Not Sharing the J-Man Today!

When You Ask an Open-Ended Question... Don't Ever Be Surprised By The Answer!

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him.

The young man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward them. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, for $100, on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.

The young man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, took some money from his purse, and gladly pressed it into the young man's hand.

She looked deeply into his eyes and slowly and meaningfully said, "Clean my house!"

The Skinny on Office Dress Codes

Are necklines negotiable in the office? With today's strict dress codes, is there a way to find a balance between "appropriate" and "fashionable"?

This situation is particularly tricky for women. While men have many choices in attractive office attire, women often feel they have to dress frumpy or older to be taken seriously. We all know that miniskirts and tight tops are a good way to earn a pink slip, but nowadays dress codes extend to every part of our wardrobes. Many now require all shirts to have sleeves -- in some offices, even quarter-length sleeves are considered risqué! Open-toed shoes are also considered an office no-no, which means many women wind up schlepping around in librarian-style shoes or heavy clogs. (Heels rule for me!)
But the fact is, there are ways to look professional without compromising on style! After all, you spend most of your day at work, so why not dress to feel attractive and confident? (Slutty or kinky or professional are all the same to me!)

Fit Matters - so does size!

Wear clothes that actually fit your body. While you should never wear tight clothes to the office, there's nothing wrong with clothes that fit your body smoothly and snuggly. Have your pants tailored to fit, and banish bulky sweaters and tops from your closet. You don't have to hide your body to look professional. (Tight works for me!)

Ditch the Loafers

Wear shoes that make you happy! There are professional dress shoes out there that still look fashionable -- look at the shoes Angelina Jolie wears to her United Nations conferences! They are sleek, comfortable, and professional -- and still 100% sexy! (loafers -- what are loafers -- 3" or 4" for me!)
Your Secret Weapon (It always has been my secret!)

Invest in form-fitting, sexy undergarments. Nothing feels sexier than a racy leopard thong under your business suit. It will keep you feeling upbeat and sensual all day long ... not to mention that it banishes scary panty lines! Be sure to wear a bra that offers padding, such as a Victoria's Secret Ipex bra. Offices are notoriously cold, and bras need to offer the right amount of coverage and support, but they can still be flirty and lacy!

Remember, there's nothing wrong with feeling attractive at work. You might be surprised at how your boosted confidence positively affects your life -- both in and out of the boardroom.

Posted by Dr. Laura Berman

Don't You Just Love to Flash?

Tell me your favorite flash story .... real or imagined!

Have You Found The Eyes Yet?

Blue eyes - people with blue eyes are very attractive, adorable, loves to make new friends. They will do anything for that special person. They are kind, and polite. They can make anyone laugh or cheer them up. Blue Eyed people love to please the one they care or love for. Brown eyes - people with brown eyes last the longest in relationships. They are very satisfying and love to please and can EXCEED your pleasure standards.
Green eyes- people with green eyes have the most passion put into relationships, they have long lasting relationships.
Hazel eyes - people with hazel eyes have the best long loving relationships. They are awesome at diversity and trying new things and very rarely will say no to ANY challenge.

Master/Slave Relationship

For the last several weeks I have been examining a Master/Slave lifestyle so I thought I would shed a little insight on what I have learned so far. Again it is only my perspective and it is brief as of now. If anyone cares to share his or her own opinions, please do. A Master is powerful, strong, intelligent, and controls the decisions and responsibilities of another individual. To be a good Master you must be able to be a master over your own self and have someone, often referred to as a servant or slave, who willingly is liable to your desirable cravings. Taking their freedom away doesn't make them a slave. This would only make them momentarily unhappy. If you have a slave and they runaway then they were never your slaves in the beginning. Forcing your will on them only makes you a dictator not a Master. A good Master's goal is to lead both himself and his slave into a healthy partnership where an agreement sets the foundation for a quality relationship. It can lead them both towards improvements in their lives. It is a relationship based on attraction allowing them to grow together through trial and trust. It usually requires soul attention to be given on both parts on a daily basis. For a slave entering into a Master/Slave relationship it can be dangerous to her health and happiness. The good Master knows his/hers own limits and is not in the relationship for his/hers own gratification. He is there for the welfare of His slave. The relationship can evolve around a sexual or non-sexual manner depending on what pleases the Master and His slave. This leads to another topic called BDSM. I'm not fully educated to comment much on this at the moment. Basically, it is where the relationship collectively deviants from the normal sexual act which the Master and His slave take their sex life to a higher level of then that of common man. The Master/Slave lifestyle is a sub culture of BDSM. To become a slave, it takes a uniquely rare and special person. To submit it is a very serious well thought out decision? Before that decision is made the slave has to be fully able to trust her Master. Then she will honor him with an eternal gift that is more then any other physical thing she ever presented to him. The journey of a Master and His slave is merely a relationship rooted with honestly, love and care. Both the Master and His slave gain strength and confidence in serving each other. They provide each other happiness by overcoming fears, anger and hurt they may feel caused by other bad relationships. They are able to heal each other’s minds, bodies and souls together.

NikkiJ is Always On Message!

Does this sound like any sales operation you've worked for?

"When generals are weak and lack authority, instructions are not clear, officers and soldiers lack consistency, and they form battle lines every which way; this is a riot." Sun Tzu's warning to military leaders is great advice to sales managers.
Deploying salespeople who don't have a consistent, repeatable process and who are not "on message" costs monumental amounts of wasted motion and leaves wheelbarrows full of money on table after table. Nikkij knows what she wants ... and likes!

Quote of the Day H. Norman Schwarzkopf, US Army General "You can't help someone get up a hill without getting closer to the top yourself."

Hostess With The Mostest!

I’ve put a lot of time into work for the past couple of weeks. I have been behind the bar for a few nights plus I pulled a few day shifts. I also bartended at a few private parties held at the restaurant and the club. Tonight I am the hostess. I would rather tend bar but I also have to learn this part of the house. Besides I get to wear a dress versus the skirt or pants that I normally wear when I am behind the bar.

If I do say so myself I am dressed as one hot foxy slut tonight! My outfit is a sexy black backless dress that shows a lot of skin with “cmfm” heels, lace panties, garter and stockings and braless. I’m showing a little cleavage as well.

For a Monday night it was a normal at the restaurant even though the bar was a little off, the front of the house was quite lively. We had lots of diners, mostly parties of four, but we had a few twos and threes. One big party of businessmen of about twelve stayed for quite awhile. They were in the back of the restaurant … at the tables that overlooked the docks. They preferred this location to one of the private rooms.

I had an opportunity to do my share of strutting by more than once. I saw a few men that I would bed in a heartbeat. Two or three caught my eye … and I returned big smiles each time. I was getting so hot, that I had to go to the ladies room more than once to rub my clitty through my panties. The last time, I just removed them then inserted one of my cock rings over my raging clit.

I was sitting at the bar talking to Jeff the bartender, when their party broke up about ten but since we are open to midnight a few guys came into the bar. They walked in to sit down at the other end of the bar along. Among the group were two of the guys I had been flirting with all night. Since the party had dropped a great deal of money, I told Jeff to buy them a round of drinks on the house. When Jeff delivered the drinks he motioned to me as if to say they were on me … which they sorta were.

So when they toasted me thank you, I returned the favor. After a few minutes, one of the cute guys, his name was Mike came over personally to thank me. We chatted for a few minutes exchanging small talk. I learned that he was from San Francisco, a regional vice president for the company that was headquartered here in Annapolis. They were here for a three-day meeting. Since “the City” is one of my favorite places having lived there for a few years we a lot in common. We had made a connection. Besides I know he wanted to get into my panties, even though they were now in my purse and I know I wanted to get into his pants.

His buddies soon got up to leave. They stopped by to chat a few moments to raze Mike a little bit, but also see if he was in “good hands” and had a way back to the hotel.

We had a few diners lingering but we had stopped serving meals in the restaurant and since the bar was almost empty Jeff was beginning to clean up. Normally the closing bartender locks up but Jeff had asked if he could slide out a little early as he was on the early shift tomorrow. I told him I would lock up tonight. As the restaurant cleared, a few waiters remained but soon they were ready to leave.

The sexual tension between us was building. Mike and I were still chatting at the bar when two of the waitresses Melissa and Kylie were ready to leave. So as I let them out and they both know me well but told me to enjoy myself tonight but if I wanted one of them to stay to help they would.

“Yes, he is a hunk isn’t he? “ as I pushed them out the door. “Perhaps another time girls!”
When I returned to the bar Mike was standing waiting for me, “Do you want to call me a cab NikkiJ?”

“Hell no Mike, I will take you to your hotel, but first I want you take your pants off! I want that cock of yours in my mouth!”

Some Make Up Tips

Lipstick as Blush

Lipstick can be used as a long-lasting blush, provided you apply it lightly and sparingly. Lipstick has a much darker pigment, and a little goes a long way.
Not Used to Makeup?
If you're new to (or bad at) applying makeup, start with your lipstick. The color and brightness will be a good gauge as to how much you should make up your eyes and cheeks. Remember, never draw attention to more than one part of your face at a time!

When to Apply Blush

As a rule, you should apply blush before powder, but find what works best for you. Some makeup artists like to use blush before foundation for a more natural-looking glow. Always use a full brush, rather than the small one that comes in your compact.

Overnight Undereye Treatment

Dark circles under eyes can be caused by a lack of oxygen to your skin. To combat this, combine one teaspoon of whole, plain yogurt with half a teaspoon of fast-acting baker's yeast. Apply under your eyes with a clean eyeshadow brush right before bed, and make sure to rinse it off in the morning.

Lipstick on Chapped Lips

The sort of makeup you use can actually prevent chapped lips. Use or switch to glossy lipstick, as matte has no moisturizers (and can actually dry out your lips on its own).

Natural-Looking Waves

Try wavy hair for a new summer style. Use styling spray, then curl your hair in alternate directions: first inward, then outward, and so on. Instead of brushing it out whn you're done, tousle it with your fingers.

Fix for Oily Hair

Didn't have a chance to wash your hair yesterday? If you have light hair, sprinkle baby powder on a comb or brush and run it through your hair, focusing on the roots, to absorb oil. Don't try this if you have dark hair -- instead spray your roots and part with hairspray, then rub with a towel. The alcohol in the spray will help to absorb any excess oil.

Use Sunscreen ...

... on your hands! Even when applying your own sunscreen or sunblock, it's important to apply it to your hands they way you would the rest of you. Too much exposure to sun can age them prematurely. You can use special products made for hands, or your regular sunscreen or subblock.

Safe Manicures and Pedicures

If you go to get your nails done, keep a few things in mind. Firstly, bring your own tools with you, and beware of sharp tools at the salon. Make sure the salon uses proper disinfectant (many only use UV sterilizers, which do not kill all bacteria). And finally -- if the manicure or pedicure hurts, tell the technician right away. A good manicure shouldn't hurt!

Applying Eyeliner

Always start applying eyeliner from the outer corner of the eye, and stop two-thirds of the way in. Hold the skin of your upper lid taut, and draw the liner into your lash line rather than above it. For a smokier look, smudge with a cotton swab after you've applied it.

Washing Your Face at the End of the Day

If you wear makeup, take the time to wash your face twice at night: once to clean off the makeup, and again to cleanse your skin properly. Be gentle, though, and don't overscrub!

Monday, June 29, 2009

My Smile is My Greatest Asset!

My smile is one of my greatest assets. Granted many men and women notice my long legs

I am 5’9” in my stocking feet … or my trim fit body … a mere 149 pounds dripping wet or even my firm round butt … especially when I am walking away. While strolling through the mall or striding across a room I have had my share of second looks. I have turned a few heads as they say! But my smile is always what closes the deal.

Tonight I am in Dallas, traveling on business. It’s been a long day dressed up in my male business clothes so now its time to relax with a few cocktails in the hotel bar. A girl always needs some good company too so before I go down to explore the local talent, its time to get pretty.

So it’s out of the business suit and into my sexy clothes. To get into the mood, I strip down to bare nakedness but to get my juices flowing while I do my make up I decide to slide into a new pair of black lace top stockings, a garter belt and 3” rhinestone strapped heels.

Sexy lingerie will always make me hornier. I’m very fortunate that I don’t need much make up and I have learned to apply it from some of the best. In no time, I ready to complete my look for the evening. A nice black silk low cut blouse fits snugly over my lace top camisole. I look great in short skirts … especially those that flow as I walk…bright red to match my lipstick. A pearl choker and matching ear rings finishes the look… “

Nikki J you look gorgeous” if I must say so myself.

But I’m not finished yet. Do I want to be brunette or blonde tonight? I have been told that blondes have more fun in Dallas so I slip my short blonde pixie wig over my neatly trimmed head of hair. You see I am 97% hairless; eyelashes and very short hair make up the 3%. As I walk to my hotel room door I stop to put my rings, red satin panties and some other sex toys into my swag purse. A girl has to be ready for anything.

After a quick ride down the elevator, I pause at the hotel bar entrance to take a deep breath, as to say to myself I'm ready. I then strutted across the room to find a cozy seat at the corner of the bar.

The bartender, Jake and I introduced ourselves as I looked over the “wine list by glass”. A nice chardonnay from Sonoma meets my approval. Jake, as he serves me my wine, we start up a “get to know you” conversation. It’s always great to be friendly with your bartender, especially when he’s a hunk like Jake. We exchange big smiles as my eyes survey the room. There’s no one of interest …just yet.

After a few minutes, a nice looking guy sat at the far end of the bar and as if on cue Jake leans across the bar with the classic, “The gentleman at the end of the bar would love to buy you a drink” I nodded yes and gave the hunky gentleman one of my biggest smiles. Ah ..yes we want to close the deal!

Jason, as I quickly found out, asked to join me even before Jake could serve me my second glass of wine. Jason is just what like in my men … a little younger than me, I’m 35,-- or I was then -- he's tall - over 6’ and about 210 with an athletic build, all Texan with a great smile. My “pantied less” clit just got hard as my juices started to flow again.

We chatted, I flirted, Jason rubbed my stocking legs first over my skirt then just under it at the knee; Jason flirted, I flirted some more, we talked about my favorite subjects … me and kinky sex … and we drink some more wine as Jason had ordered a bottle. I keep squirming on my bar stool so Jason could get a good look at my legs. The conversation and atmosphere just oozed with sex.

I excused myself to go to the ladies room and as I slide off the bar stool I made sure that he saw the lace top of the stockings he had been caressing. I look good walking away so I took the long way to make sure Jason and everyone else for that manner got a good look at my legs and butt.

In the ladies room, after I peed I slipped my ring over my clit and stuffed it back into my red panties. I wanted Jason to see me in full bloom so to speak. I know he couldn’t wait, because I felt anxious myself, as I came back to the bar. When I returned I smiled and gave him a big wet kiss on the lips. As I did I could feel his huge hands on my tight booty as he ran them down my skirt. I know he confirmed my garter belt and stockings.

He lingered on my satin panties and he lightly squeezed my butt. As I leaned in I could feel his huge hardness, the heat of his body against mine and I knew immediately that all Jason wanted to do now was go to one of our rooms but I needed to be sure first. I needed to be confident that he wouldn’t be disappointed. Yes I am a girl with a big surprise in her panties.

Jason settled the bar tab, we walked out arm in arm, but we stopped in the lobby. I looked Jason right in the eye… I don’t know any way else to say it… “Jason this will be one the kinkiest night of sex you will ever have, so are you ready for it?”

He grinned from ear to ear and all he said was let’s go.

As luck would have it, we didn’t have the elevator all to ourselves, so I stood in front of him and rubbed my butt into his crotch all the way to eighth floor. All he could do was rub my shoulders as he tried to stay calm and composed. The other guy got off on the same floor and Jason almost got off too… so we both ran down the hall giggling all the way to my room. Once in the room, Jason pinned me to the wall, planted a big wet kiss on me and pushed that huge cock of his into my belly as he tugged on my blouse. I raised my arms above my head that allowed him take it off in one move. He then buried his mouth in the cleavage of camisole but I managed to squirm away before he could drop my skirt down to my ankles.

As I slipped into the bathroom, I told him to get comfortable. A little freshness to my make up, a dash of perfume on all the sexy body spots, my blonde wig straightened on my head, adjustments to my stockings and I’m ready to fulfill my promise to Jason. I almost forgot, but I attached my silver chain to my pearl choker to let it dangle down to my waist.

Jason awaits. I pop out the bathroom looking radiant only to find Jason stark naked with his huge cut cock saluting me. He found my candles so the room was dimly lit with soothing music coming from the television. I love a romantic guy.

His smile and cock only got bigger as he noticed my silver chain, the blindfolds in my right hand and handcuffs in my left. “I see you are game big boy! How about a lap dance?” so as I stood before him, I gently pushed him back into the desk chair. In one swift move, I quickly cuffed him… as he didn’t expect me to be as strong as I am… to the back of the chair, leaving one hand free, trying to grab me as I backed off. I tossed the blindfolds onto the bed as he begged to let him watch. I started a slow sexy dance to match the music. I pushed closer to Jason and started kissing his neck as I push my body towards him and teasingly backed away.

I turned my butt towards him and twirled it around his crotch, feeling him trying to push his cock through me. I love to tease. With his free hand, he managed to tug on my panties but I twirled back to face him and then let my red panties fall to the floor around my ankles. I stepped out them and in one move flipped towards Jason. He caught them before they hit him in the face then brought them to his nose to smell my sex. I turned around to look back at Jason as I let my skirt fall to the floor revealing my gartered framed booty and camisole. It was now or never as I turned to face him so he could for the first time see my raging 7” clit encased in my metal clit ring.

I stood motionless hands on my hips and smiled…. “Surprised?”

His jaw dropped but it turned to an even bigger smile as I got closer. Jason grabbed my silver chain and pulled me towards him “I had my doubts. You are gorgeous. I want you! Come here now slut!”

I dropped to my knees, looking up at Jason licking my lips as I kissed the tip of his huge cock. Jason was also cut, and this girl loves a cut cock. He’s just a little thicker and bigger than me. I began kissing his inner thigh, stopping near the base of his balls and running my hands all his upper thighs. I found his balls, and engulfed them in my mouth, then ran my tongue up his big vein stopping at his huge helmut. Jason just leaned back, closed his eyes and started moaning so I kept running my lips and tongue around the tip. I could feel Jason getting even bigger in my pussy, but I wanted him in my cunt … now.

As I jumped on the bed, I tossed him the keys to the cuffs. Jason struggled with the lock but finally broke away and as he jumped onto the bed I threw my legs over his shoulders and screamed, “Take me now!” With both hands, he opened my booty wide to shove his cock in one quick thrust inside me. I screamed as he entered me. Jason continued to thrust his huge cock.

God, I love the feeling of a hot cock in my cunt. I began whimpering but Jason came very quickly with one huge thrust ,so I grab him by the neck and pulled him closer towards me. All I could feel was his huge cock just squirting loads of cum inside my bootyt. He leaned down into my arms to kiss me passionately. As I rolled over to get on top of Jason, he tugged on my chain to bring me back to kiss me some more. He then grabbed me by the waist to pull me and my ringed clit up his mouth. “Such a lovely clit you have here. Nikki J” Jason sucked and licked my clit, which seemed for hours. I moaned and whimpered as he continued my hardness. I was ready and he knew it. He slipped the ring off my clit and I exploded in his mouth. I feel into his arms whimpering like the little slut I am. I caught my breath and scrambled up to kiss Jason again. Wow he’s such a great kisser.

To my surprise he exchanged my wet kiss with my own cum. So I had his cum in my booty and mine on my pussy, lips and face. With a big smile and my own cum on my face I fell asleep in his arms.

When I woke in a few hours, blindfolded, but Jason was nowhere to be found. I also found myself with my right leg cuffed to the bed. As I peeled back the blindfold, there a note on the hotel stationery within easy reach.

Nikki J, you promised and delivered. You were awesome. I loved the surprise. I’m sorry but I had to run to an early meeting. I’m in town again tonight. Call me on my cell for an encore anytime.

Kisses Jason. P:S: - The keys are under the pillow.

Outer Banks Beach Invite

As I drove home from work, I kept listening, over and over to the voice mail message that Peter and Katie, left on my cell phone. “Nikki, both Katie and I want you to our guest for a week this August at the beach house that we have rented with seven other couples in the Outer Banks. You know just about everyone. It’s a spectacular eight-bedroom beach house right on the ocean. Katie says that Melissa may also join us for the week. We hope you make it, Katie sent you an email telling you all about the place. Call us later. Peter”
My clit is as hard as it’s ever been just thinking about it. Wow, a whole week with Peter and Katie and their friends and of then course Melissa. She‘s one gorgeous woman and one of Katie’s girl friends. I have been moaning all the way home in the car. When I got home, I flipped on the laptop to download the email that Katie had sent. The email had a link to the rental company’s website. I took a virtual tour. The Beach House in Duck is beautiful.
It has a large pool, whirlpool, each of the eight bedrooms has a balcony overlooking the pool or the ocean, a huge deck off the playroom, another huge living area and of course the ocean views are indeed spectacular.
Then I read Katie’s email. Nikki, we hope you can join us. We have the place the week of August 17th. Besides Peter and I, Jason and TJ have said yes, same for Tom and Cash, Jonathan and Stacie, Amanda and Lisbeth, Mike and Allison, and Randy and Tiffany. Ashley, your ex and Henry are very probable. Henry has to juggle his schedule, but Ashley said they would be there for part of the week if not all of it. She said she wouldn’t miss it. Melissa just called to say she would be there. Her panties are wet just thinking about it. She wants you to come too. We want you there too. Katie and Peter
BTW – in case you didn’t pick up on it. Its eight couples and eight bedrooms – and you and Melissa make nine couples. The two of you are our guests, but you also are there to serve and service everyone else. Your sleeping accommodations will be the playroom, unless you get invited to share a bedroom and yes we are bringing all our toys, including the infamous gold chain to connect the two of you together for the entire week.
Yes I know you remember the gold chain. Kisses Katie
A huge smile along with a tingling sensation engulfed me. My clit filled my panties. I can’t wait. I reached for the phone to call Mistress Katie and Master Peter.


Lipstick as Blush Lipstick can be used as a long-lasting blush, provided you apply it lightly and sparingly. Lipstick has a much darker pigment, and a little goes a long way.

Not Used to Makeup?
If you're new to (or bad at) applying makeup, start with your lipstick. The color and brightness will be a good gauge as to how much you should make up your eyes and cheeks. Remember, never draw attention to more than one part of your face at a time!

When to Apply Blush
As a rule, you should apply blush before powder, but find what works best for you. Some makeup artists like to use blush before foundation for a more natural-looking glow. Always use a full brush, rather than the small one that comes in your compact.

Project Leader -- Elise!

We had worked late at a client’s. It was after midnight. I was still working in the marketing world. I had just moved to a new city and I was trying very to make things work as a femme in my former man’s world. Elise, one of co-workers and a level up from my position was in town from Dallas. Her hotel was near my condo in the City so we decided to share a taxi. She had been a bitch all day. Telling me what to do, when to do it and even commented on my make up and business attire.

As Elise and I drove away in the taxi, she quickly changed her attitude and started getting really close to me. There was a curtain and barrier between the driver and us. Elise drew the curtains and instructed me that we could use the intercom system if needed. Wow, my bonus for this project going to come early this year?

Elise went down on me immediately, pushing up my skirt. F*ck yeah, this was awesome! How did she know! My almost hard clitty poked out of my panties. She pulled them down around my knees and Elise just spat on the head very aggressively, only the Elise way of course. She licked all around the head teasing me with her spit. Her tongue was just delightfully amazing. The passing city lights just made the scene sparkle for us in the back of the taxi. She spat again on me but this time all over my shaft before taking me in her mouth.

This was fantastic but what does this mean, I thought to myself? Nothing you little slut, just sit back and do as your project boss says, and enjoy your clitty being sucked while you can get it. "Lay down on the seat now" she demanded. I obliged quickly and laid down on my back along the bucket seat, with my knees bent to give myself some extra comfort. She then continued to bury her face on my clitty and started to deep throat me all the way, almost gagging herself. She was a true professional little cocksucker.

Now she started to do those beautiful half twist motions with her hand as she sucked the head of my clitty. I knew all that hard work was worth it. I just moaned. I started to thrust my whole body towards her face, and quickly started to fuck her mouth as hard as I could, as I began to pant louder and louder. She pulled my cock out of her mouth, and said "Don't you dare cum yet."

As I moaned, I promised her I wouldn't cum just yet but I confessed that it was very difficult to hold back. "You're too good for me" and "You're the best I have every had!" I complimented.

This invoked her to not use any hands at all and she simply worked my clitty with her lips, tongue and mouth action. This is my favorite way of receiving a blowjob.

She said to me that she knew it was my favorite and stated that she saw an email to another colleague – one of booty call friends in her Dallas office -- about my little secret. "And slut that’s how I found out about your nice surprise!"


Shit, why are we slowing down? The taxi pulled to the curb, it was time for me to get out, damn! I was so pissed. The taxi driver spoke through the intercom and I reached over and asked him to give me just one minute and I will get out. The taxi driver didn't care as he was being paid to wait.

"How shall we finish this?" I asked. Elise rudely blurted out, "Get out now and go home".

I was shocked and said "What?" Elise quickly fixed herself up, wiped her mouth with a Kleenex and sat back in the seat insisting that I get out of the taxi.

Still in shock, I got my shit together, stumbled out of the taxi and before I could close the door, Elise prevented it from being closed and said in a harsh tone "I'll pick you up in a taxi at 7:30 am sharp, so you can quickly fuck me before we get to the client’s. Don't be fucking late slut"

She then closed the door and the taxi drove away. As you can imagine, I didn't sleep those few hours, rubbing myself and spilled the milk only once, all in the name of waiting to f*ck Elise before work. I was ready and waiting at the curb!

Are We Talking Some Football Here ... Nah!

1- The tight grip If your woman has great balancing capabilities, then you're in for a great treat. Your woman starts off on her hands and knees, like she normally would for the rear-entry position. The catch is that when you place your hands on her waist, your objective is to lift her legs up so that her feet are against your butt (OK that's not really your objective, but you know what I mean). Although this may be difficult at first, the sensations this position provides are enough to keep you going -- or coming, as the case may be. In this position, penetrate her slowly and deeply.

2- The leg spread With her lying on her stomach with her legs straight and closed, straddle on top of her. Your legs should also be stretched out, and somewhat spread. Your arms should be straight and holding you up. Make your way in and keep in mind that this position works best with deep, slow penetration. And if you feel like getting romantic, bend your elbows and kiss her mouth. She will, however, have to meet you halfway.

3- Deep penetration Again, she lies down on her stomach, but this time her legs are spread open and her knees are bent (her feet should be in the air). Using your hands for support, straddle her slowly at first, but make sure your legs are together. This allows for deep penetration, and whether you thrust slowly or quickly, I can virtually guarantee that both you and she will achieve monumental orgasms.

Perfect View!

Do You Know The Proper Etiquette?

General Dining Etiquette

  • Start eating hot food when it is served, do not wait for everyone else to begin.
  • For soup, dip the spoon into the soup, from the edge of the bowl to the center, moving away from you. Only fill it 3/4 full to avoid spilling. Sip, not slurp, from the edge of the spoon. Do not insert the whole bowl of the spoon into your mouth. It is proper to tip a soup bowl slightly to get all of the soup.
  • Never turn the glass upside down to decline wine. It is more polite to let the wine be poured and not draw attention to yourself. If you are asked about wine and will not be drinking, quietly decline.
  • Do not ask for a doggy bag unless it is an informal dining situation.
  • Do not smoke at the table.
  • Do not ask to taste someone else's food. Similarly, do not offer a taste of your food to someone else. Taste your food before seasoning it.
  • For hard to scoop items like peas, use your knife or a piece of bread to push the items onto your fork. Do not use your fingers.
  • Do not talk with your mouth full. Cut only enough food for the next mouthful. Chew with your mouth closed.
  • If soup is too hot to eat, let it cool in bowl. Do not blow on it.
  • Practice good posture. If not eating, place your hand in your lap or rest your wrists on the edge of the table. Do not put your elbows on the table.
  • If hot food is burning your mouth, discretely drink something cool to counteract the food.

  • When dining out, order foods that can be eaten with utensils.

  • Meeting materials or briefcases should be placed under your chair until it is time to discuss business.
  • Try to pace your meal to finish at the same time as your host or the majority of the group at the table.
  • Do not blow your nose at the dinner table. Excuse yourself to visit the restroom. Wash your hands before returning to the dining room.
  • If you cough, cover your mouth with your napkin to stop the spread of germs and muffle the noise. If your cough becomes unmanageable, excuse yourself to visit the restroom. Wash your hands before returning to the dining room.

Casual Dining Exceptions

  • Eating out with your friends is not an excuse to become a slob. However, dining etiquette guidelines are not as important when eating a burger and fries at Chilis.

  • Do not worry about ordering foods that are eaten with your hands - burgers, fajitas, sandwiches, etc.

  • When sharing chips and salsa at your favorite Mexican food restaurant, do not concern yourself with transfering salsa to your own plate.

  • However, do not double dip. In other words, do not dip your chip, bite off a piece, and then re-dip your chip.

Do You Make These Mistakes?

Guys in my restaurant's bar make the same mistakes every night.

Mistake # 4. Waiting to get drunk before talking to women.

This is probably the biggest mistake that guys make every night, at every club, everywhere. The best time to talk to women is actually right when the night begins. Why? When it’s still early, women are just arriving usually in a good mood, no one’s approached them yet; it’s like a blank slate. It’s your best chance to make what I call a little connection. This is where you just make one fun or witty comment to someone and then get back to your friends.

If it turns into a conversation then go with it, but it’s mainly a way to create a little connection of familiarity between you and someone you don’t know.What most guys do, is they stare at the women they want to talk to all night until they’ve had enough drinks, then go over and try to force a full on conversation. It’s usually not pretty.

Instead, it’s a lot easier to make a bunch of little connections with women, then sit back and watch. The women that are interested in you will come stand near you or they will look at you and smile when they walk by. Even if they don’t, it will be a lot easier to wave them over and start a conversation with them if you’ve already talked before.

Things That Make Me Smile!

"That bulge in your panties is Fantastic!"
"On your knees now!"
"I swear I thought you were ALL female!
"A cock ring for my clit
A gift card to Victoria’s Secrets
"You are one naughty bitch"
"Your new tits are perfect!"
"Where have you been all my life?"
"I’m Versatile, too!"
"I’ve asked someone to join us"
"You have great legs"
"Just swing those stocking legs over my shoulder "
"I want to ram you ass now!"
"Where did you learn how to suck cock like that?"
"Your clit is huge!"
"You voice is sooooooooo sexy"
"Where did you get those shoes?"
A shaved pussy
"I love to make your your clitty bell ring!
"The words ”let’s go shopping!”
"Let’s do it again!"
"Lick me!"
"You are a great lil’cocksucker

"What Makes You Smile?

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Coffee, Tea or ...

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the blonde's attention; and, to keep him quiet, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all references. He uses the Air phone; he searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the blonde and hands her $500

The blonde takes the $500 and goes back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes her up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"

The blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

What Body Part Spreads the Most Germs?

Do You Wash Your Hands Before Sex?

Our hands are recognized by medical professionals as a major source for spreading flu and cold germs. Flu and cold germs can be spread on computer mice and keyboards, chewed pencils, telephones, pens, salad-bar tongs, light switches, door knobs, taxi door handles, and countless other common objects. People can't avoid touching things.

To minimize infection, concentrate on keeping hands away from the mouth, nose, and eyes unless the hands are first washed with antibacterial soap, says the Soap and Detergent Association of New York.

Wow - no germs from anything sexual ....

Ask Me Anything!

So here's the deal...You get to ask me *1 Question* any one question, no matter how crazy, inappropriate, sexual, or just random, and I promise to answer it 100% truthfully .. so go for it!

She Has Something in Her Eyes!


All women know that the easiest way to make a man uncomfortable is to cry; we've all witnessed men that automatically give in to even the most unreasonable requests just to make the tears stop. Girls learn this tactic early -- fathers present gifts to teary-eyed daughters and school teachers forgive bad behavior at the onset of convincing waterworks. Most women have perfected the pouty sniffles and streaming eyes to a point where it can be difficult to pinpoint an honest display.
Counterattack: When presented with a crying woman outside of actual traumatic scenarios, it's probably a good idea to remove yourself from the situation if you feel at all in doubt about her sincerity. You can't bargain with tears, so avoid them instead.

Pick Up....

1. ALWAYS have Condoms with you:You will feel kinda stupid, huh? All that time to convince her, and now….NOTHING! Don’t even think about sleeping with the person without protection. You don’t want to RISK your life for a few hours (if you’re lucky) of pleasure! 2. Do NOT give them your phone number: The last think you need is a stalker on your back! You need to be fast and sneaky! The less you know about this person (and the less they know about you!) the better one night stand you will make. 3. They MUST be a stranger: Well don’t mess with your friends! It will become more complicated in case you or the other one starts to have feelings. 4. Do NOT be drunk: You don’t have to care if he or she is drunk, but you don’t have to be! Have you ever seen how an ugly face transforms into a beautiful one with a fifth of vodka?
5. Do NOT go to your place:
Are you insane? All that time you’ve been trying to hide by not giving your phone number, and you bring your flirt to your place? Wrong! A nice hotel will do the trick, if you like it outdoors, also not a problem. Just don’t go to some place familiar! There is a chance that you will never get rid of them afterwards.
6. Do NOT use your car:
A car is like a symbol! He or she will never forget it! You don’t want every time you’re parked outside a restaurant with someone else to see that person again running towards you! You are too old to be hiding under tables!
7. Do NOT eat anything weird before:
You want to spend some time with that person; not with the porcelain altar! So be careful of your choices. A good salad (without onions or garlic) will do great for that day. Remember: flatulence is NOT a turn-on.
8. Do NOT fall asleep:
You may awake and see an ugly face staring at you. Or even worst, a table full of breakfast ready for both of you to enjoy… Your identity will be exposed, since you were sleeping like a pig and he or she was searching through your stuff! You will also realize that this one night stand might have been a mistake, after all… so be sneaky: do your ninja moves, try to leave the place without anyone noticing.
9. Do NOT leave any tracks:
Be sure that you won’t leave anything behind when you leave! A T-shirt, a lighter, a pair of gloves, even your used protection will be enough for the other person to search the entire world to find you! Anything you will forget might be used against you - learn from all those CSI episodes you’ve spent so much time on!
10. Do NOT kiss them when you leave:
In case that you failed to do something of the above, this would be one huge mistake! That would mean something more than a simple One Night Stand!
So people enjoy your single status, follow the rules, have fun and be happy!

A Little Far Out on The Edge ... Even For Me!

"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space."
- Anonymous

Maybe I Could ReThink That ....

Forgetting to Pee

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to overlook the little things like, say, your bladder. But when your man stimulates your G-spot during sex, it can suddenly make you feel like you have to pee. "The G-spot is surrounded by the Skene's glands, which are connected to the bladder," Altman explains. "So anytime there is contact with your G-spot, you are going to feel like you have to urinate, even if you don't." The result? You clench up and don't let go and climax. Plus, according to certain experts, some women may release ejaculatory fluid and mistake it for pee, so when it starts to come on, they cut off the flow and basically flatline their orgasm.Fortunately, there's a simple solution: Use the bathroom just prior to sex. "Since you know you don't have to pee, when you're on the verge of orgasm, you'll be able to go with the sensations and let loose," says Brame. Not to mention the fact that peeing first can greatly decrease your risk of a UTI.

One ... Where's The Second One?

For centuries, men have been enamored with women's feet, both bare feet and feet that are dressed in hose, or shoes, especially sexy shoes. Heels have always played a major role in the effect of shoes on a woman's sexiness. Perhaps because of the way they make a woman walk, or perhaps because of the way heels accentuate and elongate her legs. Let's face it, we all like them. I don't know of a man who doesn't, and most women are not much different. Look how much attention pay to another woman's shoes. How often have you heard one girl remark to another, "I love you shoes, where did you get them?" Shoe manufacturers know this only too well. Otherwise, why wouldn't they just make flat shoes for women like they do for men. When was the last time you saw a pair of stiletto heels for a man? Haha! That's something I'd like to see...oh wait, I suppose there is a market for cross dressers...but I suppose they just buy large sized women's shoes. So why are they sexy? I can't answer for everyone, but I know why they work for me. First of all, as I mentioned, I love the way they make a woman walk. Secondly, they do add to her legs, making them appear longer and slimmer. I am particularly fond of shoes that show off her toes, especially if those toes are painted. Let's face it, regardless of her age, painted toenails say I am still a sexual woman. Check it out for yourself, watch a woman, particularly an older woman who is wearing sandals or heels, if her toes are painted, chances are she is still young at heart and interested in the opposite sex...or the same sex...*wink* Heels add allure to a woman and can salvage even the worst of outfits. I have seen women in the grocery store looking less than sexy, their hair not done, old clothes, and no makeup, but glance down at their feet and see a pair of heels and all of a sudden, wow! she looks pretty good....Shoe styles come and go, but stilettos and higher heels keep coming back, and in some cases, never leave. No matter what design is in style at any given time, you still can't go wrong with a pair of stilettos. They are probably the most timeless of shoes, having caught the eye of men and women and held it for a long time. Today, platforms are very stylish, but if you notice that many of the platform styles still sport a stiletto heel, and thank heavens for that, we aren't ready to let go of them yet!

May I Get You A Drink?

Guys in my restaurant's bar make the same mistakes every night. Mistake # 5 Putting too much pressure on yourself to meet women.

The last one is the most important. Remember why you are there in the first place: To have a good time.
Have patience with yourself and give yourself permission to relax. Some guys get too attached to the outcome with women and even relate what happens to their own self-worth. You know yourself better than anyone else.

Clubs are a place where almost everyone has a very strong social mask up and it can be hard to reach the real person underneath. So if things don’t go as planned, don’t beat yourself up about it. Just leave the unwanted feelings at the club and enjoy what you do have.

When you see every interaction within the club as amusing or an opportunity to "play with others", you’ll create a magnetic vibe and others will naturally be pulled in towards you.

Let Me Play You A Song!

Don't dismiss Raelyn Campbell as a crackpot. Not yet. Listen to her story, and then decide if she's doing the right thing by asking Best Buy to compensate her to the tune of $54 million for a laptop that went missing when she took it in to Best Buy for repair under the store's own extended warranty.
Like many people, Campbell bought an
extended warranty for her laptop when she bought it from Best Buy, and she took advantage of that when the power button broke off after a year. Best Buy accepted the machine for repair and said it would be ready in two to six weeks. But six weeks passed and the computer wasn't ready. After three months of ruthlessly hounding the company, Best Buy finally admitted it couldn't find the machine.
Ultimately, Best Buy offered to pay her $900 for losing the machine... as a gift card. She countered that it had originally cost over $1,100, not to mention all her data that was now gone for good. She demanded $2,100, and Best Buy simply ignored her.
At this point, Campbell was made aware that all her personal data on the machine could lead to a major identity theft issue, though Best Buy never filed their legally required notice that she was at risk. That was the last straw, and she filed suit for $54 million, representing herself. Best Buy has since upped its offer to a total of $4,100 if she withdraws the case. She says she doesn't expect to win, but wants to go to court anyway to force Best Buy to explain how her laptop was lost.
I have to agree that $54 million seems wildly optimistic, but it's amazing to hear how smug Best Buy has been throughout this process. Lowball, "go-away" offers that don't even value property properly, much less the value of the data inside it, are frankly embarrassing, and good for Campbell for making an issue out of it... even if she doesn't ultimately prevail.
A lost laptop, a $54 million lawsuit

Play With Me!

1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and women. Here Here!
2) 70% of high schoolers have had sex before they have graduated. 27% lose their virginity senior prom night. Only 3% wait until marriage. Define sex!
3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1 month of dating. Only 10% of women feel this way. Does 10 minutes count?

Ring My Bell ... Often

"I want to see it," Jason said, as soon as we were back in the car. I looked out the window at downtown Annapolis. Anyone walking by would have had to bend over to see in the window. I lifted my skirt. Nestled among my black stockings and garter belt there it was, a shiny gold bell dangling from the membrane against the helmet of my tgirl clitty. We were both entranced, but I just smiled.

It was new and Jason would be the first to dangle it so to speak.
The tiny metal bell hung from a ring and trembled at the tip of the longest protrusion of my skin, the perfect dangle from my clitty or cock as men call it.

Jason stretched out a hand, hovered near. "Does it hurt?" he asked. It did. It ached. My whole clit ached, like it does when I've been aroused too long without satisfaction, ached like anything swollen will after a while. Jason lowered his hand, not touching the ring or the bell, just cupping his hand to hold heat over my 7” clit. He grinned at me. "Maybe I can make it feel better."
It was late spring. We were driving fast in Jason's sporty little car with the windows down and the radio on. Jason kept his hand in my lap whenever he wasn't shifting gears. I kissed his neck. He squeezed my leg. My clitty throbbed.
Jason's fingers brushed against the slippery skin. "I'm going to stop at this World War II rest area, it’s just across the Old Severn River Bridge, " he said. He swerved towards the entrance. There was a squeal of tires as he hit the brake hard, spinning the wheel like a racecar driver and sliding us sideways to a stop perfectly between the painted lines. I didn't know he could do such a thing. Neither of us stopped to think about it. We just slammed our doors and moved out onto the rest-area lawn, down the hill towards the River.

It was early afternoon. There were a couple families at picnic tables. A few more fishing off the old bridge that is now use as a fishing pier. There was an older woman being pulled here and there by a very distractible dog. And there was Jason and me lying in the grass, making out like it was our last hour on earth. Jason's hand was under my skirt, pulling on that fascinating little bit of metal. The clinging sound fascinated him. My fingers were curled into his shoulder, leaving marks that would last for days. He rolled half on top of me grinding into me. "I want to fuck you," Jason groaned in my ear, and I nearly pulled down his zipper then and there. I want his cock and wanted him to ring my bell.

But not here… too many people! "We will get arrested," he said.

"I know," I said. "But then again, we got away with that blow job in the airport parking lot."
"True," he answered. "And the restaurant restroom."

"No, someone walked in on us that time."

"Yeah, but we didn't get arrested." We both sighed. We couldn’t go to his place… or could we?

We looked at each and sprinted to his car.


While you're sipping Chardonnay and enjoying the beauty of the wine country, crooks may be busy swiping your identity. According to a Federal Trade Commission study, Napa, California, earned the title of worst town for identity theft, with over 300 consumer complaints per 100,000 residents in 2007.
Madera, California, (280 complaints per 100,000 residents) and Greeley, Colorado, (228 complaints) followed Napa on the list. On a state level, California (120 complaints) was surpassed by only Arizona, which had the worst per-capita trouble with identity theft (137 complaints).
The picture's quite different for general fraud (which includes more than just identity theft). Albany-Lebanon, Oregon, topped that list, followed by Greeley and Napa. Among the states, Colorado had the worst fraud problem, trailed by Washington and Missouri. California lands at #19 on that list.
What form do these crimes take? In California (as with most states), credit card fraud tops the list of ID theft types, accounting for 23 percent of all complaints. Employment-related fraud and phone/utilities fraud follow closely behind, each with 18 percent.
In terms of general fraud, most victims were swindled by home shopping and catalog sale scams, which made up 11 percent of the complaints. Internet services, foreign money orders, and sweepstakes/lotteries complaints were the next most prevalent types of fraud. The total fraudulent haul in California alone was $171 million, costing each victim an average of over $3,000.
These problems are growing at breakneck pace, with over 800,000 fraud complaints received in 2007. And a full 32 percent of the complaints involve identity theft. So no matter where you live — wine country or dairy land — be aware of the risks, keep tabs on your wallet, and pay cash if something seems the least bit fishy.

Thoughts While Shaving My Legs

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
All generalizations are false, including this one.
All men are idiots, and I married their King.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Assassins do it from behind.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Beer: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
their shoes.

How many countries have the golden arches?

There are more 25,000 McDonald's restaurants in over 115 countries. McDonald's has actually been remarkably responsive to the local cultures: they offer "ayran" (a popular chilled yogurt drink) in Turkey; McLaks (a grilled salmon sandwich) in Norway, and teriyaki burgers in Japan.

In New Delhi, India, where Hindus shun beef and Muslims refuse pork, the burgers are made of mutton and called Maharaja Macs. And if you're vegetarian, as many strict Hindus are, there's the McAloo Tikki burger, a spicy vegetarian patty made of potatoes and peas.