Wednesday, February 29, 2012



Fear often stands between us and our ability to make decisions, take actions, ask for what we want – even to know what we really want. It is the gatekeeper of our comfort zone. But as poet-philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear.” Here are 10 fears that commonly get in our way.

1. Fear of being judged. Needing approval from family, peers, coworkers can keep us from going after dreams and goals.
2. Fear of rejection. Rejection just means that someone else has a different opinion.
3. Fear of emotional pain. Rather than incapacitate us, painful feelings can sharpen our sense of joy and gratitude.
4. Fear of embarrassment. Making mistakes publicly is awful only when we let ourselves feel ashamed.
5. Fear of being alone/abandoned. A strong sense of self-worth and what we can offer the world reduces this fear.
6. Fear of failure. A biggie for most of us and born of the notion that it’s not OK to fail.
7. Fear of success. More responsibility, more attention, pressure to perform can be frightening when we don’t believe in ourselves.
8. Fear of expressing feelings. An authentic life means being willing to express our true feelings to our loved ones, colleagues, adversaries – even ourselves.
9. Fear of intimacy. Emotional intimacy – really being seen by another – can be as scary as sexual intimacy.
10. Fear of the unknown. The unknown can be exciting and vast if we shift our fear to curiosity.
Confronting these fears isn’t always easy. They can be really tough “gremlins” whose voices are heard really clearly when we are faced with them. But we all have choices. We can choose to listen to them or we can choose not to listen. The brain doesn’t function in a way that knows right from wrong, bad or good. We tell our brains how to respond and then they respond.

Pardon Me ... I Love Lefty!

From the Washington Post ...

While the latest skirmish in the decades-old Georgetown-Maryland war has produced plenty of bloviating, it also led to a fairly gripping monologue from former Hoyas Coach John Thompson Jr. about former Maryland Coach Lefty Driesell.

Those, of course, were the men who initiated the Cold War between D.C.’s most important basketball programs, based on the square root of the amount of change the 8,703rd fan carried in his left rear pocket during a long-ago game at the Cap Centre, or something like that.

Regardless, Thompson — whose longstanding radio show on ESPN 980 will come to a close this week — used the latest fracas to go into his feelings about Driesell, feelings he said he never would have admitted when both men were coaching.

Long, but seriously interesting transcript, below.

See Also:
Kevin Anderson’s edict
John Thompson III’s response
John Thompson Jr’s criticism
Kevin Anderson says more

John Thompson Jr., Feb. 23

“Can I expound on something just a little bit? I want to continue just a little bit, and I’m gonna try to do it in as nice a way as I can, and I want to say something to the AD at the University of Maryland...

“Lefty was the one who came into this area and really has never been given the credit that he deserves, to tell you the truth, and gave us all a different perspective as to how to look at intercollegiate athletics. High school sports had a bigger platform in this town than college did before Lefty came here. But he gave us all the energy, the inspiration to look at this thing from a national perspective.

“He didn’t work in this cocoon, this box that all of us were in. So whether I would play them or not play them, I learned from him, because I thought he was brilliant. I thought he understood the market. He taught me to look at the market, without sitting me down and talking about it. Lefty Driesell. University of Maryland. Lefty Driesell, ok?

“If Lefty were here now coaching, I guarantee you with his vision and his ability to look out, he wouldn’t still be talking about Georgetown playing Maryland. First of all, he would have a good feel for what’s going on league-wise, as well as having a good feel for what’s going on internationally. The emerging markets are international. That’s where the corporations are going, that’s what the presidents are chasing, corporate dollars. So a lot of it has [nothing] to do with you spurning or looking down your nose at somebody. It’s purely business.

“But I want to say, that I learned to think out of the box from a man that started at your university. And whether I used it towards your university or he used it towards me, there was no hate involved. It was competitiveness that was involved.

“We could have still been talking about high school basketball until Driesell came in here and told us that you better look at the bigger picture and gave some meaning to intercollegiate athletics here. Don’t kid yourself. It had no national meaning until that man walked into this town. So regardless, this town has never given him the acknowledgment that he deserved, and he’s one of yours. He is one of yours.

“Separate of what anybody else has done or has not done in this city, this man changed this whole thing. And I was just a youngster at the time, sitting at his alter, learning how to do it. Whether I liked him or didn’t like him was insignificant. George Raveling and I spent hours in the night talking about that man and how he did things.

“So let’s not get locked into a local mentality when the world is not only going national, the world is going international. And that, folks, ain’t bad educationally. Teach our kids that if they expect to work in corporate America. Because that’s what is happening right now.
“It’s not to get so focused on whether I would play Maryland or I wouldn’t play Maryland. And I don’t have that say. I don’t give a damn who plays who at this point in time, as long as it’s in the best interests of my university. I love Georgetown University. It gave me an opportunity when people wouldn’t give black folks an opportunity. And if I’m asked for my advice, I don’t give my advice predicated on my likes and dislikes. I give it based on the fact that I think it’s in the best interest, economically, educationally, for the university that gave me a chance when none other would give me a chance. Ok?

“So let’s understand. I don’t have anything against that man over there at Maryland. I question how he did it. How he did it. The brother’s trying to get it done the best way he possibly can. I had a problem with how he did it. But Lefty Driesell is my hero now.

“If Lefty called me up and asked me would I play today I’d tell him hell no. I’d tell him hell no. Because I’d tell him you taught me that, Lefthander. You taught me that. You told me to look out of the box, when none of us in this town were looking out of the box. Give the man his credit now. Give him his credit. Ok?

“The man did things that were unbelievable. He had everybody all over the country copying stuff that he was doing. Everybody all over the country copying. And I would never have admitted that when I was coaching at Maryland, never had admitted it, because it wouldn’t make common sense. But I watched every move he made, how he made those moves and what he did.

“The man was one of the best that ever did it. I said it on the show before this stuff has come up, that he needs to be in the Hall of Fame. I don’t give a damn whether he’s won a national championship or has not won a national championship. The man was at the forefront of a lot of things that occurred, not only in this city but in this country.
“So don’t start running around, trying to make this little regional competitiveness and get caught up in this competitiveness, when the emerging markets are international. You’ve got to look at that. That is very important right now. Not the this is good for the community.

“C’mon folks. I sit in a board room with guys — the man who runs Apple, the man who runs Nike, the man who runs FedEx — and I shut the hell up and listen, the same way I did when Lefty was talking about it, because I knew they knew a hell of a lot more than I knew.

“But don’t have me ride into town on the bus and think I’m not looking out the window. Y’all can spend your lifetime fussing about this local crap, when both Maryland and Georgetown will be out of the national and the international picture. That ain’t the ballgame no more, folks.

“Y’all prehistoric. Thinking people need to get Lefty back in, and rejuvenate his expressions of creativity in education. That’s me coming at you, telling you that. See I’m getting ready to go off the air on Wednesday, I can say all kinds of crazy damn things now.”.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Where does cappuccino come from?

The word 'cappuccino' is the result of several derivations, the original of which began in 16th century. The Capuchin order of friars, established after 1525, played an important role in bringing Catholicism back to Reformation Europe. Its Italian name came from the long, pointed cowl, or cappuccino, derived from cappuccio, "hood," that was worn as part of the order's habit. The French version of cappuccino was capuchin, from which came English Capuchin. In Italian cappuccino went on to describe espresso coffee mixed or topped with steamed milk or cream, so called because the color of the coffee resembled the color of the habit of a Capuchin friar. The first use of cappuccino in English is recorded in 1948 in a work about San Francisco. There is also the story line that says that the term comes from the fact that the coffee is dark, like the monk's robe, and the cap is likened to the color of the monk's head.

Think About It!

How would you make 'cowboy coffee'?

It was said that cowboys made their coffee by putting ground coffee into a clean sock and immerse it in cold water and heated over campfire. When ready, they would pour the coffee into tin cups and drink it.


When making executive decisions be aware that you are creating precedents that others will follow later. It's very important to make sound decisions now. Think through both past facts and future implications.

A Mouth ... FULL!

Thanks for the Comments ... keep them coming ...

Saturday, February 25, 2012


In your opinion should leggings be worn as pants? Why or why not?(trueheartadvice)

I love my leggings

Did You Wear White ... I Did!

Underneath my male tuxedo ... I was in white lace panties with caged clitty... lace cami .... lace top thigh highs and pink toe nails. On our first anniversary i got to wear a wedding dress!

I Am Your Bitch

My regular readers know that I am sports fan.  I got on the Ravens band wagon this past season, but I must admit I am a Redskins When the Redskins didn’t play opposite the Ravens , I became the house slut  at the local bar. Not too many games into the season, Mary, the bartender, set up a special room for me. It kept me happy and kept her customers real happy.  There were big tips for both of us.
The Redskins pretty much sucked this past year.  The more they sucked, the more I did too. I love my Terps basketball.   It’s a rebuilding year but the program is in good hands.

I always played sports, basket ball and even football in high school.  I was the shower bitch and loved every minute of it.  I have bisexual tendencies since I was twelve. I loved playing with my young dickie … especially in front of others . Then the locker rooms… needless to say I loved the black guys.  That’s when I became the shower bitch for the first time.

I played on the golf team. I am a pretty good golfer… better now that I get to play from the ladies tees. Hey bets are bets.  We travelled to clubs around the state, since I was into wearing panties under my male clothes. I tried to pass them off as male undies, but sometimes I forgot , on purpose, I am sure.. I was strutting around in front of the mirror in pink lace panties one afternoon at one of the Clubs were played at; in walked in two team mates. I became the locker room slut from then on.

I college I played a lot of intramural basketball. There were lots of big black men. Need I say more!  Even after college, I would do a few leagues. I did stand out when we had games after I had my nails done. Not many 3 point shooters wear red or pink.

Lycra is my favorite workout clothes; Under Armour now too. Anything tight and stretchy on my body, I worked out in. I loved the feeling against my skin. Before I went 24/7 I was always dressed in something underneath. At least panties, but often stockings and garters graced my long legs, too. More than once I was caught in my panties … thongs, or whatever. It was actually a thrill to get caught.  A few  bummers but for the most part …. Some good action… Some guys are called gym rats… I am the gym whore.

Have you ever gotten a compliment about your butt?

I have a terrific booty

Would you stay in a relationship with 'bad' sex ?


Do you think sex is important in a relationship ?

I have many sexual relationships

what are my sexy friends wearing to day one any wear anything really sexy

Purple bustier tight jeans cowboy boots and purple nails

Do you blog? If so, are you on ? Whats your profile there. Want to add you :)

I don't blog there but you can visit me at


Cute .... I just love to pole dance

Ladies: Have you ever or would you like for a guy to "clean up" after sex by going down on you and licking his cum from your pussy?

HER pussy shall always be pristine

how do you feel about pegging a guy with a strapon?

Love it... do me often!

What's the most out of the ordinary sexual thing you have done?

I guess you could I have taken out or ordinary and made it ordinary with my new lifestyle

Are pubic hair styles like hair styles and fashion....changing in and out? Is 'bald eagle' here to stay....or can you ever see 'the jungle' making a comeback? I for one love my women with some scruff -- gimme a MILF, not an 18-year old rookie! ;)

I love shaved ... always have and always will!

Why do U follow me ?

It's the kinky sex BB

Have you ever kissed someone and you didn't know their name?

Yes I have ... actually more than just a simple kiss

Always Want More!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Fill It Up!

Gorgeous Bra ...

Booty and Thong -- Is That Like Cagney and Lacey?

Red Dots

A Little Dance with Pearls

Pure Sex

Show Some Booty


Hmmmmmmmmm .. Smaller Than Fairy Dust?

How fine is space dust?

Space dust is extremely small smaller than a particle of smoke and widely separated, with more than 320 feet between particles.

The Meek Will ...

Today's Word "Griselda"
A woman of exemplary meekness and patience

Griselda \gri-ZEL-duh\ (noun) - 1 : A woman of exemplary meekness and patience. 2 : A female given name: from a Germanic word meaning 'gray battle.'

"While most in the office described Lois as 'mousy," Hank considered her more of a Griselda given her ablility to work through a long, tiresome, complicated project while never complaining of the difficulty or added workload."

Def. 1 after a character in a tale of the same name in Giovanni Boccaccio's Decameron.

Bold ...

Today's Word "Quean"
Bold or impudent woman

quean \kween\ (noun) - A bold, impudent, or ill-behaved woman, even a hussy or a strumpet.

"Jean is a keen dean at school but a mean quean on the neighborhood scene."

Today's word originated as Old English cwene [kwene] when "queen" was "cwen" [kweyn]. Both are akin to Dutch kween "barren cow" and Swedish kvinna "woman." All these words originated in the Proto-Indo-European root *gwen-, which also produced Greek gyne "woman," found today in English "gynecology" and "misogynist." In Russian and other Slavic languages it became "zhena" and in Persian, "zan." The Irish descendant of the same root was bean "woman" which, when combined with the word for fairy, "sidhe," becomes bean sidhe "woman of the fairies" or "banshee," the female spirit whose wailing presages death in Irish folklore.

Rule # 1 -- GetAn Invitation... Rule # 2 -- Have Room For Heels Rule # 3 -- Make Sure HE Pays

Three Essential Rules For Packing A Suitcase
Jamie Simpson
Packing for your holidays is a snap when you follow the three basic rules on how to pack your suitcases. You may be surprised that you do not need as many holiday clothes as you think. Pack light and pack smart to meet the airline regulations and lack for nothing on your trip.

1. Plastic Bags - The items in your suitcase should be compartmentalized to find what you need quickly. Plastic bags are your best friend when it comes to organizing your suitcase and keeping essential items together. If you have booked a flight, at least one large plastic bag is required by the airlines to contain liquids carried on the plane. This will include your mouthwash, hair products, cream or liquid cosmetics and any other fluids you plan to take abroad. Be sure to check with your airline before departure as to the fluid capacity limits and do not exceed their recommendations. When a suitcase is inspected before boarding, any items that violate airline restrictions or have exceeded the fluid limits will be taken away from you, thus leaving you high and dry for your holiday.

The plastic bags are also helpful to separate small items such as your jewellery, socks, watches and important papers. In addition to bagging your small items, it is a good idea to take along a few extra large plastic bags to hold any soiled garments on your return flight. Finally, to keep your garments clean, be sure to use large plastic bags for your shoes.

2. Suitcase Stuffing - The seasoned traveller knows to keep the suitcases light. Not only is this a plus for transporting your luggage, it also enables you to zip through customs in a New York Minute. You do not need too many wardrobe changes to have enough clothing for your holidays. Simply pack a few pairs of tops and bottoms and one smart item of clothing for a dinner out on the town. The biggest mistake people make with their suitcases is over stuffing the content. Not only is the excessive clothing cumbersome, it will also cost you dearly to check in the heavy bags with an airline.

3. Essentials In the Carry-On Suitcase - The smart and savvy way to get around the world is to travel light and bypass the checked luggage. Waiting at the baggage claim can take an hour to find a place to stand next to the conveyor belt and grab your gear. This tension and aggravation can be eliminated by restricting your luggage to just one or two carry-on bags. Medications should always be kept handy should you have an emergency on the plane. Prescription meds should be carried on your person at all times and never placed in a checked bag. Although pharmacies are readily available overseas, your precise prescription may not be available for a refill. Finally, if you are taking prescription medications with you, be sure that the name on the bottle matches your passport. In certain countries, such as the United States, being in possession of a prescription drug that does not belong to you is a felony and may result in arrest and prosecution for the crime.

In addition, to ensure you are feeling well for your long awaited holidays, it is a good idea to take along some simple over the counter remedies such as cold and flu tablets, headache relief, sleeping pills and an athlete's foot powder rather than the spray. You most likely will not use these items, however they take up very little space in your suitcase and you want your holidays to be smooth sailing feeling fit and fine.

Meet Sex!

Numerous studies have confirmed it: Sex is good for the body and mind, helping you live stronger, longer and happier. An active sex life helps with depression and anxiety by releasing mood-friendly substances into the brain, like dopamine and endorphins, especially when you regularly reach orgasm. Don't have a partner? Don't fret! These benefits also apply to masturbation.
Looking to take your orgasm to the next level? Sexpert Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., author of Super Sexual Orgasm (HarperCollins, 1997), writes about two key spots for women that will help.

The first is the cul-de-sac. When highly aroused, the uterus lifts up and exposes a tiny space behind the cervix that a partner (or a dildo) can stimulate for deeper, more intense orgasms. The spot is usually hidden, says Keesling, and full of pleasurable nerve endings. To help your partner go the distance, try a position that maximizes penetration, like rear vaginal entry or missionary style with your legs up by your head. (Better stretch and loosen up before attempting this position.)

The second sweet spot is the orgasmic crescent, an internal space between the clitoris and the G-spot that becomes more sensitive when these two areas are simultaneously stimulated. Stroke the G-spot with two fingers inside the vagina (it feels like a bump) and use the thumb (or a partner's tongue or mouth) to simultaneously stimulate the clitoris. Many women find that one or both of these spots are the path to pure orgasmic bliss.

Pay Attention!

Could You Have Pre-Diabetes?
About one-third of Americans over age 20 have pre-diabetes, says the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Are you one of the people at risk for developing type 2 diabetes? Learn more about pre-diabetes, who should get tested and 4 steps you can take to stop the disease from developing...
Fifty-seven million people in the U.S. are at risk for developing type 2 diabetes – and many don’t know it. The good news: Exercising and eating better can reverse your risk.

This precursor to diabetes shows no symptoms. But your body, especially the heart and circulatory system, may already be suffering long-term damage.

Left undetected, pre-diabetes will likely turn into type 2 diabetes, a chronic disease requiring daily maintenance to manage blood glucose levels. If not, you run the risk of further complications, like nerve damage and heart, kidney or eye disease.

Fortunately, there are several steps you can take to stop it.

A better diet and regular exercise are your best defense. These lifestyle changes can prevent, control, or even reverse high blood glucose levels.

Plus, you should get yearly tests of your levels to monitor progress.

Here, we break down how you can regain control of your health.
What Is Pre-Diabetes?This fairly new term replaces earlier names for the condition: impaired glucose tolerance and impaired fasting glucose.

“The move to the pre-diabetes label signals that this is a serious medical condition – yet there’s still time to do something,” says Aaron Cypess, M.D., Ph.D., a research associate at the Joslin Diabetes Center, a Harvard-affiliated research and clinical care center, who studies obesity and type 2 diabetes.

To be diagnosed with pre-diabetes, your fasting blood sugar (the amount of sugar in your blood after not eating or drinking for eight hours) should be between 100 and 126 mg/DL. This is higher than normal, but not high enough to indicate type 2 diabetes.
Who Should Get Tested?The American Diabetes Association (ADA) has identified the following risk factors for pre-diabetes:
  • High blood pressure
  • Being overweight, with a body mass index above 25
  • Inactivity
  • Being 45 or older
  • Abnormal cholesterol levels, including a “good” cholesterol (HDL) level below 35 mg/do (0.9 mmol/L) or triglyceride level above 250 mg/dL (2.83 mmol/L)
  • A family history of type 2 diabetes
  • Being African-American, Hispanic, Native-American, Asian-American or a Pacific Islander
  • Having had gestational diabetes or given birth to a baby weighing more than 9 pounds
  • A history of polycystic ovary syndrome

Plus, ask to be tested if you have these common diabetes symptoms: excessive thirst, frequent urination or blurry vision. What Tests Can I Expect?The primary blood test for pre-diabetes is the glycated hemoglobin test, also called A1C. This shows your average blood sugar level for the past 2-3 months.

The higher your blood sugar levels, the more hemoglobin you'll have with sugar attached. An A1C level between 6-6.5% is considered pre-diabetes; levels over 6.5% signal diabetes.

Some physicians prefer to check for pre-diabetes with a fasting blood sugar test, done after you don't eat or drink for at least eight hours.

A normal test result shows blood sugar levels lower than 100 milligrams per deciliter (mg/dL); 100-125 mg/dL is considered pre-diabetes; anything over 126 indicates diabetes.

Your doctor may also order an oral glucose tolerance test. In addition to drawing blood after you fast for 8 hours, you then drink an extremely sweet, sugary solution. Two hours later, your blood sugar is tested again.

A reading of 140 mg/DL or under is normal; 140-199 mg/DL is considered pre-diabetes, and 200 mg/dL or higher typically means diabetes.
Steps You Can Take to Stop DiabetesIf your doctor suspects you have pre-diabetes, she’ll likely recommend you change your eating and exercise habits and ask you to return in 2-3 months to test your blood glucose levels again.

If your efforts improve lab results, you may be able to skip medication to control your levels.

“My decision to start medications depends on how fast the sugars are going up,” Cypess says.

Changing your routine doesn’t mean you’re doomed to give up your favorite foods and relaxation time.

To help control blood glucose levels, Cypess recommends eating plenty of complex carbohydrates, fruits, vegetables, nuts and proteins that are low in saturated fat.

“I like the Mediterranean diet, but more important is any healthy diet that a patient is willing to follow,” Cypess says.

He even allows for some junk food, in moderation. “I don't think a lifetime of poorer food choices can be changed overnight.”

Here’s how to get started with a healthier routine:
1. Start a successful workout regimenWalking is a great first step for those new to exercise.

It doesn’t require special equipment or a gym membership, and you can do a lot or a little, depending on your goals.

Start slowly, walking about 10 minutes five days a week, according to the ADA. Gradually increase to 20 minutes 5 days a week, then 30 minutes.

These tips will keep you motivated:

  • Measure your hips, waist, biceps and thighs before you begin your walking program. Repeat every few weeks to track changes in your measurements the scale doesn’t show.
  • Tempt yourself with workout music. Set aside favorite songs, podcasts or books on tape and only listen to them while walking.
  • Choose the right surroundings. Walk outside, rather than on a treadmill. The fresh air and sunshine can give you a whole new lift.
  • Get a walking buddy. Chatting during your walk makes the time go faster. Plus, if you know your friend is waiting, you’ll be less likely to cancel.
  • Remember, every step counts. Park your car away from entrances. Stroll down to your neighbor’s house instead of calling her on the phone. Incorporating more movement into your daily routine increases stamina.
2. Stop supersizingDid you know: Since 1960, dinner plates have increased their surface area by 36%, according to the Small Plate Movement, an organization of academics, media groups and the U.S. government striving to help American families lose weight.

And portion sizes have grown to fill the plates. Hamburgers are towering stacks of beef; sodas come in cups you can’t hold with one hand. Restaurant salads come in bowls that could feed the entire family.

Cut the fat and keep prediabetes from worsening with these dining tips from dietitian Sue Robbins, published in Diabetes Forecast magazine:

  • Use smaller plates and bowls. This fools your mind into thinking you have more food than you actually do. Use appetizer plates for salads, luncheon plates for dinners, and very small bowls for cereal.
  • At a restaurant, ask for a doggie bag and put half your meal away before you start eating. You’ll get a proper-size meal and tomorrow night’s leftovers as well. Another idea: Split an entrée with your dining companion.
  • Repackage snacks into smaller containers. Check the label for the recommended serving size. Then portion out into sandwich bags or plastic containers so you can grab and go.
3. Learn your serving sizesWhen you have pre-diabetes, sticking to recommended amounts of specific foods is vital for keeping blood sugar levels and weight gain in check.

How do you assess what you’re eating? Try these techniques, adapted from What to Expect When You Have Diabetes, presented by the ADA.

Use standard kitchen measuring cups, spoons and food scales to train your eyes to see correct serving sizes. Once you’ve weighed, measured and looked at half cup of green beans or 5 ounces of chicken a few times, you’ll have a mental picture of how big it is.

Every few months, measure some servings again to keep your eyes sharp.

Comparing serving sizes to everyday items can help you remember how much you should eat. Here are guidelines for some food favorites:
  • 1 cup of pasta or rice – about the size of a clenched fist
  • 1/2 cup of vegetables – about the size of half a tennis ball
  • 1 cup of broccoli – about the size of a light bulb
  • 3 oz. meat, chicken or fish – about the size of a deck of cards
  • 1 oz. cheese – about a 1-inch square cube
4. Eat Better Without Blowing Your BudgetFresh produce is an important part of a pre-diabetic’s diet. Prepackaged foods can be costly. But fresh choices don’t have to be.

These guidelines, adapted from What to Expect When You Have Diabetes, will help keep costs down:
  • Buy fresh fruits and vegetables. Skip the fruit cups and prepackaged veggies. You’ll save money by buying your produce fresh and cutting them yourself.
  • Buy fruits in season. When produce is abundant, it tends to cost less. Look for apples and grapes in the fall, citrus in the winter and berries in the spring.
  • Buy produce directly from the farmer. When food has to be packaged, transported, costs goes up. Buying local also supports your community.
By Nancy Wride, Special to Lifescript

Kiss Me

Health and Beauty Tip -- Lipstick Color for Fuller-Looking Lips

For fuller-looking lips, avoid neutral shades -- go for reds. Don't be afraid to go a few shades darker, either.

What Do You Think ...

10 Bad Habits That Could Ruin Your Marriage
Are you secretly spending behind your husband's back? Have you let yourself go? Do you constantly nag? These behaviors could be hurting your marriage. But there’s good news: It’s not too late to change bad habits. Our marriage expert reveals the top 10 worst relationship mistakes and how you can start fixing them today. Plus, do you fight fair? Take our quiz to find out...

Sure, your husband has his share of bad habits, but what about yours?

To get you back on track, read on for expert advice on 10 bad habits that could be ruining your marriage.
1. Not having sexAccording to a 2003 Newsweek study, between 15% and 20% of couples are living in a sexless marriage, where couples make love no more than 10 times a year.

While sex isn't the be-all, end-all to a marriage, it’s one of the best ways to maintain intimacy. And when sex becomes a distant memory, your intimacy takes a severe hit.

While physical issues like hormonal changes, stress and fatigue may not put you in the mood, some of the problem has to do with your attitude.
“You need to feel good about each other to be intimate,” says Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free (New Page Books). “If you constantly fight, criticize and spout negativity, you won't be able to be close.”

Even if you’re not feeling frisky or are resentful, just do it already. An orgasm does your body – and mind – good.

Learn how to transition from handling the mundane tasks of life to frolicking in the bedroom.

“Sex in a long-term marriage is different from dating, honeymoon or newlywed sex,” Tessina says. “You need to learn how to make it easy to get there.”
2. Letting yourself goLife happens – aging, pregnancy, illness, weight gain. You’re not going to look the way you did when you first met your spouse.

Fortunately, “in deepening love, the exterior gets less important, and the interior is what we’re focused on,” Tessina says.

But whether you like it or not, your spouse does care what you look like now, just as you still want to be attracted to him.
Put in a little effort to look nice for your hubby. Even a small change can make a big impact – resisting the urge to put on ratty sweats as soon as you get home or actually wearing some of the “sexy” lingerie you’ve bought.

Also, make a commitment to exercise several times a week, which can inspire your husband to break a sweat with you. Start by walking every night and ask him to join you.
3. Spending too much time with the in-lawsThat includes spilling private information to your family about your husband or marriage or siding with them over him. Your spouse will feel like he comes second to your family.

Even if you're close to your parents and siblings, draw a line when it comes to your priorities. When you get married, you’re starting your own family – and they come first.

Tessina says it may be an issue of your upbringing.

“If your partner is unhappy with how you’re relating to your family, it probably means you come from different style families, and you need to talk about that and make some agreements,” she says.
“It’s a growing up issue, as well as a partnership issue.”

But your loyalty lies with your marriage, she says.
4. Spending too much time with friends, work, hobbiesHaving a life and interests apart from your husband is important, but not having your priorities straight can wreak havoc on your marriage.

Maybe you’re using your friends or job as a welcome distraction from your spouse. Or maybe you simply enjoy your job or hobbies that much.

Your spouse may feel like a second fiddle. Is he dropping hints about how he wishes you were around more? Or maybe he's not saying anything for fear of rocking the boat.

The bottom line: Don’t make your spouse feel alienated, rejected or disconnected from the marriage.

“You need to do what works,” Tessina says, “and the only people who can determine that are you and your spouse. Together.”

5. Not consulting your partner about purchasesAccording to a 2007 PayPal survey, 37% of couples fight more about money than household chores or sex, and 82% of respondents say they have hidden purchases from their partner.

While not telling your husband about a new shirt you bought doesn’t spell disaster for your marriage, omitting large purchases or other major money commitments does.

Not only will it cause anger and bitterness, but bad money habits can compromise the financial security of your family’s future.

Marriage is a partnership in every sense of the word.

Tessina recommends talking about how money will be handled – bank accounts, bill paying, debt, savings, investments – before getting hitched.

“Remember, if you can’t talk amiably about money and make joint decisions about it, your marriage doesn’t have a good chance,” she says.

6. Forgetting the smaller gesturesThose everyday signs of affection are what keep intimacy and romance alive. Yet many couples fail to remember to do them.

“Spread as much sweetness around as possible,” Tessina says.

Kiss him when he walks in the door; ask him if he needs anything while you’re up; surprise him with a small gift (it doesn’t have to be expensive); touch his arm or leg when sitting next to him; say thank you when he does something for you, no matter how big or small.
7. Criticizing and nagging endlesslyFinding fault with people – especially our loved ones – is easy. So is mercilessly criticizing your partner. While your husband may joke about his nagging wife to his friends, he’s probably not finding it funny on the inside.

“If you allow yourself to be subject to constant criticism from your spouse, your well-being and confidence will suffer,” Tessina says.

You might think you’re offering gentle reminders or that you’re being justifiably critical, but the more you nag, the more he’ll tune you out. And that just makes you angrier.
8. Always playing the victimNever being at fault can be tiresome to a husband who isn’t always to blame either.

“It’s difficult for everyone to take responsibility for bad behavior,” Tessina says.

Pointing the finger at someone else is easier and makes you feel better about yourself. Playing the victim is a control mechanism, and you use it when it suits you best.

Fess up to your role in the problems you’re facing, apologize and make the necessary changes when appropriate. Once you give up the victim mentality, you’ll find yourself less stressed, angry and resentful… and your husband will be happier, too.
9. Sweating the small stuffSo he forgot to pick up your dry-cleaning or fix the broken fence like he promised. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.

“If you want to be right just to be right, you’re going to create problems and pain in your marriage,” Tessina says. Pick and choose your battles wisely, or you’ll find yourself permanently on the battlefield.

When something is bothering you, Tessina recommends asking yourself how important it really is. Are there rational reasons why it’s so crucial?If you know you must hash out the issue, bring it up as soon as possible to avoid built-up resentment. And learn how to “fight fair.”
10. Not fighting fairArguing to solve an issue isn’t necessarily the bad habit. You’ll inevitably come across differences when it comes to finances, children and responsibilities of home and work.

But the way you settle those differences can be destructive. If you wonder why you’re unsuccessful in solving your problems, it could be because you’re not going about it with good intentions.

If and when you have a disagreement, follow Tessina’s “fighting fair” guidelines:
  • Don’t try to be right; instead, try to solve the problem
  • Consider your partner’s point of view
  • Solve one problem at a time
  • Don’t bring up past issues
  • Avoid personal attacks and criticism
  • Stay away from using power struggle tactics like guilt, threats and emotional blackmail
Do You Fight Fair?No relationship is perfect, and at some point you're going to have a confrontation with a coworker, neighbor or someone you love. Disagreements can be a way to respectfully voice your opinion and carefully consider the other person's thoughts - or they can be an all-out, name-calling fiasco. Is your fighting style fair or do your quarrels need a referee?

By Emily Battaglia, Lifescript Staff Writer

Who Wants To Write About the Origins of a LadyBoi?

The Origins of the Cigar Store Indian
Jennifer Jordan

For some cigar and tobacco shops, a Cigar Store Indian sits outside the door. While this can easily be viewed as an unwanted stereotype on the Native American community, it is also a part of cigar and tobacco history. As some of these wooden Indians appear inviting, happily greeting any incoming customers, others appear defensive, as if guarding the store from shop lifters, thieves, and No Smoking ordinances. However they appear, they appear often: Cigar Store Indians have become advertising icons in the world of tobacco.

Just like candy-caned barber poles have become synonymous with barber shops, and talking lizards have become synonymous with car insurance, these wooden Indians have become synonymous with cigar stores, historically serving as an advertisement that tells the masses where tobacco is sold. Nowadays, however, the Cigar Store Indian is used less as a form of advertisement and more as a form of decoration, one that brings dimension and culture to tobacco's colorful past.

How They Began

When Native Americans introduced tobacco to the European populace, they adopted the role as spokespeople for the cigar industry, forever making their culture intertwined with the culture of tobacco. Because of this, a visual picture of an Indian was often used to tell the masses, highly illiterate masses, where they could purchase tobacco.

The 17th Century Europe marked the first time sellers of tobacco used a wooden Indian to peddle their product. However, because those who did the first carving had not actually seen a Native American, the first wooden Indians that sat on stoops of the cigar stores of Europe often appeared to be fanciful, fictional characters. Yet, by the time the wooden Indian made its way to America, it began to take on a much more genuine, authentic appearance.

How They Were Carved

While some Cigar Store Indians were made of cast iron, most were made of wood. The majority of them were made by artisans or professional carvers. Using axes, chisels, and mallets on white pine, the wooden figures were carved and then painted in a tapestry of folklore, fine arts, and popular culture. In addition to wooden Indians, carvers also produced wooden sports figures, politicians, high society women, and Scotsmen.

What They Looked Like

The first wooden Indians were both male and female, allowing the seller to choose which gender they wanted to help market their goods. When the wooden Indian craze first began, the female wooden Indian was used four times more often than the male wooden Indian. While female wooden Indians were occasionally carved with a papoose, and donned with a headdress of tobacco leaves instead of feathers, male figures were often dressed in the traditional warbonnets (a ceremonial headdress) of the Plains Indians.

Present Day

The height of the wooden Indian fad took place in the 1800's, with a carved statue standing outside nearly every tobacco shop in America. However, in a sad parallel to Native American history, the wooden Indian was often mistreated, damaged by passer-bys. Because of this, the beginning of the 1900's marked an end to this popular form of tobacco advertising.

In today's day and age, with a greater amount of people literate, the need for a visual advertisement waned, sidewalk obstruction laws, and high manufacturing costs, the Cigar Store Indian is not as common as it once was. Some still do stand outside cigar shop doorways, but many others stand inside museums, representing a part of tobacco history. Another reason for their disappearance is the sensitivity of the subject. While some people view a Cigar Store Indian as a stereotype, others view it as part of cigar lore and a laudation for a group of people who introduced the blissfulness of tobacco to an unknowing culture.