Some Thoughts While Shaving My Legs

Write in tip amounts -- You can just put the total amount and completely ignore the top box. Do you really think they’re not going to figure out how much it is? If you have super messy writing you might want to write it in to make sure they understand the amount, but if you aren’t a 2nd grader, you’re probably fine.

Stop at stop signs in parking lots -- These signs aren’t actually legal signs. Have you noticed how they’re often not the same size or material? That’s because they’re made by the property owners. They’re as legally valid as me putting a crosswalk in the middle of my living room. So if it’s late and no one else is in the parking lot, just drive past them. It’s exhilarating.

Check out at hotels -- There’s no real benefit to checking out at hotels. You’ve paid for a night and they’re expecting that you’ll be gone by the time you said you’d be gone. Just leave.

Letting stores check your receipts -- You know those stores like Best Buy or Fry’s who treat you like a potential shoplifter after you leave and want to verify your receipts at the door? They have no right to do it! The worst is when there’s a huge line and they expect you to wait there. Just walk past and say “no thanks” when they go to look at your receipt. They legally have to let you go. The one exception are “clubs” like Costco where you’ve agreed to allow this in your membership agreement.

Signing credit card receipts with your real name -- You’re probably supposed to sign it, but do you really think you’re not going to get charged if you write something else? I once drew a mountain range, a lake, and an indian in a canoe that was being eaten by a huge shark. When the cashier insisted I sign my name I just wrote “artwork by Tynan” at the bottom. The charge went through.

Give your phone numbers and address when buying things -- This is a pet peeve of mine. Stores (RADIOSHACK!) always ask for your info so that they can send you tons of junk. I just tell them that I don’t want to give it to them, and they never refuse to sell to me.

Writing out the numbers on checks -- How annoying is it to write out “Four thousand three hundred fifty two dollars and XX/100?? I hate it. Instead just write “?????4352.00????”. The chances that someone is going to try to tamper with your check are basically nil. Especially if you’re writing a check to some company.

Get oil changes every 3000 miles -- The ideal amount of time between changes is actually about 4000-5000 miles, but motor oil companies have pushed the 3000 mile thing to sell more oil.