5 Dating Rules To Live By
Even if you are a mature, straightforward woman who dislikes playing games, there are some dating rules that shouldn’t be forgotten. Sure, there’s also a fair share of sexist dating rules for women that seem straight out of the 1950s, but for every bad rule, there are a couple that will keep you afloat in the dating pool. Here is a look at some rules that will never go out of style:
1. Less is MoreLess is not more when it comes to the amount of clothing you wear on a first date or the amount of time you wait until you have intercourse. But in terms of how revealing you are about your life, or how much personal information you share on the first couple of dates, less is always more.
Gail Prince, a nationally known relationship coach and dating expert, says that people always seem to reveal too much too fast. “Many women make the mistake of jumping right in and talking about their ex husbands, old boyfriends or the baggage they carry as a result of those relationships. The first couple of dates are for getting to know each other’s personalities and seeing if there’s any kind of chemistry, not for sharing your life story and the stories of all your heartbreaks,” Prince said.
2. Don’t make yourself too available One of the most basic rules of dating is not making yourself seem too available. This isn’t to say you should play silly dating games, such as not calling him for three days after a date, or letting him leave two voicemails before you return his call. Those rules are often used as a form of flirting, and really, where does any of that get you?
1. Less is MoreLess is not more when it comes to the amount of clothing you wear on a first date or the amount of time you wait until you have intercourse. But in terms of how revealing you are about your life, or how much personal information you share on the first couple of dates, less is always more.
Gail Prince, a nationally known relationship coach and dating expert, says that people always seem to reveal too much too fast. “Many women make the mistake of jumping right in and talking about their ex husbands, old boyfriends or the baggage they carry as a result of those relationships. The first couple of dates are for getting to know each other’s personalities and seeing if there’s any kind of chemistry, not for sharing your life story and the stories of all your heartbreaks,” Prince said.
2. Don’t make yourself too available One of the most basic rules of dating is not making yourself seem too available. This isn’t to say you should play silly dating games, such as not calling him for three days after a date, or letting him leave two voicemails before you return his call. Those rules are often used as a form of flirting, and really, where does any of that get you?
These rules, instead, are simply intended to protect your feelings in the first stages of a relationship . To that end, there should be no time limits in terms of when you call him, and you should answer his phone calls whenever you please, but simply don’t make yourself too emotionally and physically available to him right away.
A good gauge for this is when you begin dropping important things to go out with your new guy, or when you flake out on close friends to take an unexpected invitation from him. Here, you’re not doing yourself any favors. In fact, you are setting an unhealthy standard for your potential relationship. If you begin your relationship by making it seem as if you are more than willing to drop whatever you’re doing for him, you are only sending the message that what he wants to do is more important than what you want to do. It is a road that tends to only get rockier.
3. Don’t SettleOne of the top dating rules for women is don’t settle. If you have recently gotten out of a marriage or other long-term relationship, don’t make the mistake of settling for the first nice guy who comes along. Sure, dating is scary and often overwhelming, but the whole point is to find the person who best suits you.
A good gauge for this is when you begin dropping important things to go out with your new guy, or when you flake out on close friends to take an unexpected invitation from him. Here, you’re not doing yourself any favors. In fact, you are setting an unhealthy standard for your potential relationship. If you begin your relationship by making it seem as if you are more than willing to drop whatever you’re doing for him, you are only sending the message that what he wants to do is more important than what you want to do. It is a road that tends to only get rockier.
3. Don’t SettleOne of the top dating rules for women is don’t settle. If you have recently gotten out of a marriage or other long-term relationship, don’t make the mistake of settling for the first nice guy who comes along. Sure, dating is scary and often overwhelming, but the whole point is to find the person who best suits you.
Don’t stay with a guy just because he’s nice or you are afraid of being alone.
“We allow ourselves to be in relationships that aren’t passionate or fulfilling or aren’t exactly what we’re looking for because we think it’s the best we can do,” Prince said. “We tell ourselves, ‘Eh, he’s nice enough.’”
But dating, she said, is about finding love.
“If the guy you’re with doesn’t rock your world, what are you doing with him?” Prince said. “Chances are, he’s settling for you, too. Release him so he can find the girl who blows his mind and you can find a partner who completes you.”
4. Don’t Rush into SexSome dating rules for women are timeless. Some of the old rules, such as not rushing into sex, may have had their roots in some archaic thinking – not so long ago, it was frowned upon for women to act on physical urges and even “necking” on the first date would earn you a “bad reputation” – however, the rule itself, with a modern update, is still valid. Consciously deciding not to rush into a sexual relationship is good advice for anyone of any decade who is entering the dating jungle.
“We allow ourselves to be in relationships that aren’t passionate or fulfilling or aren’t exactly what we’re looking for because we think it’s the best we can do,” Prince said. “We tell ourselves, ‘Eh, he’s nice enough.’”
But dating, she said, is about finding love.
“If the guy you’re with doesn’t rock your world, what are you doing with him?” Prince said. “Chances are, he’s settling for you, too. Release him so he can find the girl who blows his mind and you can find a partner who completes you.”
4. Don’t Rush into SexSome dating rules for women are timeless. Some of the old rules, such as not rushing into sex, may have had their roots in some archaic thinking – not so long ago, it was frowned upon for women to act on physical urges and even “necking” on the first date would earn you a “bad reputation” – however, the rule itself, with a modern update, is still valid. Consciously deciding not to rush into a sexual relationship is good advice for anyone of any decade who is entering the dating jungle.
Even if you find yourself physically attracted to someone you’re dating, any good friend would advise against rushing into sex.
“If you have sex on the first date or even within the first couple of dates, the guy you are dating will only associate you with sex,” Prince said. “Sure, it could eventually turn into a serious relationship, but when you rush into sex, you ruin your chances of developing a strong relationship and friendship based on other things that you want him to be attracted to also, like your mind, your personality and your sense of humor.”
It’s easy to physically connect with your date; the difficult part is connecting with him on a higher level that requires real work.
5. Follow your GutA dating rule for woman that is often overlooked is advising them to follow their gut instincts. If you’ve gone on a couple of dates with a guy and something seems off-kilter about him, or there’s something disturbing that you can’t seem to put your finger on, follow your gut and break it off. It’s better to get out early and save yourself from potential headaches and heartbreaks than to stick around and try to quiet your instincts.
“I spoke to a girl at one of my seminars who told me a story about how she hit it off with a guy right away,” said Prince. “He jumped into a serious relationship with her quickly and was even talking about marriage three months into their relationship.
“If you have sex on the first date or even within the first couple of dates, the guy you are dating will only associate you with sex,” Prince said. “Sure, it could eventually turn into a serious relationship, but when you rush into sex, you ruin your chances of developing a strong relationship and friendship based on other things that you want him to be attracted to also, like your mind, your personality and your sense of humor.”
It’s easy to physically connect with your date; the difficult part is connecting with him on a higher level that requires real work.
5. Follow your GutA dating rule for woman that is often overlooked is advising them to follow their gut instincts. If you’ve gone on a couple of dates with a guy and something seems off-kilter about him, or there’s something disturbing that you can’t seem to put your finger on, follow your gut and break it off. It’s better to get out early and save yourself from potential headaches and heartbreaks than to stick around and try to quiet your instincts.
“I spoke to a girl at one of my seminars who told me a story about how she hit it off with a guy right away,” said Prince. “He jumped into a serious relationship with her quickly and was even talking about marriage three months into their relationship.
“When they first got together, she felt like he was being dishonest about something or that something was off about him, but she liked him so much and wanted a family so badly that she forced the thoughts out of her head. Eventually, he put her in debt, racked up bills in her name, and she also found out he had an entire other family, complete with wife and kids two cities away, who had no idea she even existed.” The moral of Prince’s story: Follow your gut.
Prince also pointed out that trusting your instincts goes well beyond feeling funny about a guy on the first couple of dates.
“So many women have the feeling that their boyfriends are cheating on them well before they are presented with proof or physical evidence,” she said. “Don’t quiet your concerns by convincing yourself that he would never do that to you. It has been proven time and time again that there is some truth to the saying ‘women always know.’”
Some dating rules have changed, but the most important ones remain the same. If it is your goal to eventually develop a healthy, loving and trusting relationship with your significant other, take some of these dating rules for women into consideration as you maneuver through life in the single lane.
Prince also pointed out that trusting your instincts goes well beyond feeling funny about a guy on the first couple of dates.
“So many women have the feeling that their boyfriends are cheating on them well before they are presented with proof or physical evidence,” she said. “Don’t quiet your concerns by convincing yourself that he would never do that to you. It has been proven time and time again that there is some truth to the saying ‘women always know.’”
Some dating rules have changed, but the most important ones remain the same. If it is your goal to eventually develop a healthy, loving and trusting relationship with your significant other, take some of these dating rules for women into consideration as you maneuver through life in the single lane.
By Tina Vasquez
Um, I don't understand - having a date associate you with sex is a BAD thing?
ReplyDeleteOK, having them associate you with BAD sex is a bad thing, but.....