Can Someone Give Me Their Best Flashing Story?

Just Do Me Now!

The Trouble With This Picture is ...

The Art of ...

Today's Word "Parsimonious"

Parsimonious \par-suh-MOH-nee-uhs\ (adjective) - Sparing in expenditure; frugal to excess.

"Clubs were ruined, so said certain young parsimonious profligates, by providing comforts for old fogies who paid little or nothing but their subscriptions..." -- Anthony Trollope, 'The Way We Live Now'

Parsimonious is the adjective form of parsimony, from Latin parsimonia, "thrift, parsimony," from parsus, past participle of parcere, "to spare, to be sparing, to economize."

The Most Controversial Magazine Covers of All Time

I Love This Blog ... The Best Article Every Day

That's Why Married Men Love Me!

A woman says to her husband , “what would you do if I won lotto?”He says, “I’d take half then leave your fuck’n bitch ass.” “Excellent,” she replies, “I won 12 bucks, here’s 6 now Fuck off!”

Date A TGirl Then ...

A notable gynecologist once said, “The best engine in the world is the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self-lubricating. It takes any size piston. And it changes its own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so fucking temperamental.

I Just Love My Man Shaved!

A guy runs into an ex-girlfriend, with whom he didn’t have the greatest relationship. “You know, I was with another woman last night, but I was still thinking of you.” “Why, because you miss me?” “Fuck no, because it keeps me from cuming too fast you stupid bitch.”

Anyone Interested in Matrimony?

You are very busy today, with a lot of responsibility. It can seem that you have taken on too much, that your schedule is too crowded. You need to find a way to balance obligations with relaxation.

Applying For A Job Is Like Peeling Away The Skin!

The average recruiter sees 5,000 resumes a year. Any legitimate reason she finds to make one disappear makes her life that much easier -- and yours that much harder.

Here, top-level recruiters reveal how candidates blow their chances to get a foot in the door.

Numbers Don't Add Up
If accomplishments can be quantified, do it -- but use discretion. Brandishing borderline performance numbers signals a lack of experience and bad judgment. "Phrases like 'managed a budget of $500,000' or 'led a team of two' might catch my eye in a bad way," warns Olaf Weckesser, a former recruiter for McKinsey & Co. Better to spin it as "managed company's largest budget." Adds Alexandra DeMarino, a Citigroup recruiter: "If a small number is impressive, you absolutely have to put it in context." Because you can't provide context for academic numbers, don't include GMAT scores below 650 if you're targeting a top firm. DeMarino suggests bragging about nothing less than a 3.7 GPA.

Formality Takes a Vacation
Don't succumb to the informality of email. "If you send a cover letter by email that starts with 'Hi,' it and your

resume will probably end up in the trash," says Cynthia Shore, an assistant dean at the University at Buffalo School of Management and former director of its career-resource center. Treat an email as you would a proper letter: Instead of "Hi," write "Dear Mr. Case." Instead of "Thanks," conclude with "Sincerely."

Keywords Are Overused
It's true that recruiters sometimes use scanners to sort through resumes looking for certain keywords. But resumes appear contrived when candidates consciously try to include them. Describing a business-development position using such terms as "needs assessment" and "contract analysis" in order to squeeze in more keywords is a misguided strategy. Assume that a human being -- not a computer -- will be reading the resume. After all, these days fewer than 25 percent of all recruiters even use scanners.

Things Get Too Personal
"If you mention your age, we have to trash your

resume," says Jeremy Eskenazi, vice president of talent acquisition at Idealab!, the California incubator firm. Since it's illegal for a company to solicit a candidate's age, race, or marital status during the hiring process, firms have adopted a "don't tell" policy to avoid potential bias suits. Many won't risk even having it handed to them.

It Looks Too Fancy
"A recruiter who receives resumes in pretty plastic folders will likely toss them," says Dave Opton, CEO and founder of ExecuNet, an online executive recruiting service. "I don't have time to take the damn things apart." Another faux pas: Folding a

resume so that it fits into a standard business envelope. Heavy-stock paper that retains its crease can be a nuisance. Says Opton: "They're easier to store and photocopy if they're flat."

Also, don't try to differentiate your resume with boxes or ornate lettering. When recruiters see a resume that's designed differently, they think the person's trying to hide something. Instead, focus on content. Your resume will rise to the top of the pile.

Be Back In A Few Days

Today's Word "Teetotaler"

Teetotaler \TEE-TOH-tuh-lur\ (noun) - One pledged to entire abstinence from all intoxicating drinks.

"A man who had walked forty miles, in an agony of endurance, to bring wine to a sick person would probably know that a teetotaler would have ordered some other medicine -- for a teetotaler forbids all wine, as the Pacifict forbids all war." -- G.K. Chesterton, 'On War Weariness' Teetotaler is from tee (the letter t, as in total) + total + -er.

Teetotalism is the principle or practice of complete abstinence from alcoholic drinks.

Ready!

So True

Too Funny

True ...

The Art Of ...

The Lead-Up Kiss and lick his inner thighs while you tease his testicles -- lightly scratch, pull, roll them around, and pull them one at a time in your mouth. While you're attending to his balls, run your fingers up and down his shaft.

"Once he's erect, get comfortable, either kneeling beside him, between his legs or perpendicular to his body. Or bring him to the edge of the bed and kneel on the floor. Wet your lips and be sure that your lips cover your teeth. Run your tongue around the head of his penis to moisten it."

The Basics "Hold the base of his penis firmly in one hand," Bakos continues. "With the other hand, form a circle of your thumb and forefinger--what sex expert Lou Paget calls 'the ring and the seal'--to prevent him from going in further than you would like. Twist that hand along the shaft as you move your mouth up and down."

The Extras Bakos recommends swirling your tongue around the head, then working it in long strokes up and down the shaft. Lick along the ridge of the corona (the ridge connecting head and shaft) while working the shaft with your hands.
"Strum the frenulum (the elastic band of tissue on the underside of the shaft) with your tongue, then lick the raphe (the seam on the underside of the shaft, continuing into the scrotum). Do at least 10 or 20 seconds of this showy move: Repeatedly pull his penis into your mouth, then push it out, using suction, while keeping that tongue in motion.

Bakos also recommends making eye contact from time to time, which will help you connect with your partner.

Rein in Your Reflex Is he packing more heat than your sensitive gag reflex can handle? "Concentrate attention during fellatio on the head of his penis and the first third of the shaft," Bakos says. "Focus on his perineum (the spot between his butt and balls), and he won't notice or care that you don't take the entire shaft into your mouth. Plus, Lou's ring and seal trick fools him into thinking you are taking in more than you are."

Time It Right Some days, a blow job is just an amuse bouche to warm him up for intercourse. "Follow his lead if he pulls back from stimulation," Bakos says. "He knows his body. Put his hand on your vagina and let him stimulate you until his excitement subsides a bit."

Of course, sometimes you want him to get off. To ensure a powerful climax, Bakos suggests applying light pressure to his perineum using your thumb or finger.
"And if you want to give him something really special when he's near ejaculation" she says, "Take his pelvis in both hands and rock him toward you so that he goes deeper into your mouth."

To Spit or Swallow? Whether you swallow is a personal choice. Bakos recommends swallowing as it makes "a man feel totally accepted and loved."
The simplest posture for this, Bakos says, is lying back with your head off the bed. "Your mouth and throat will form a smooth line. Have him straddle your face for the elegant finish to a perfect blow job."

If you don't want to swallow, you can have him leave the condom on as he ejaculates, or suggest that he finish on your breasts.

Bouncing Back From a No-Go Let's say you've followed these tips and he's still not coming. Don't take it personally, and don't beat a dead horse (or a limp noodle). "Sometimes the world's greatest blow job won't get him up or keep him there. If he's been drinking heavily, is on medication, or ejaculated 10 minutes ago, give your mouth a rest and put his into action. Maybe it's your turn today, not his." Well, if you insist ...

I Love It ... Sorry Can't Remember Where I Found It

I watched anxiously as she unbuttoned her shirt, exposing her large breasts. It took every ounce of control in my body to not wrap my hands around them, and envelop her nipple with my mouth so as to suck and tease them with my teeth. She traced her fingers down her chest, her sternum and finally they rested on the fly of her pinstriped slacks, teasing the zipper and myself. Crooking a finger at me, she instructed that I unbutton and remove her pants like a good girl should. Nervously fumbling with the material, I finally slid them to her ankles while kissing her thighs, knees and calves on my way down. She wasn’t wearing any underwear and I could see her lust for me had already begun to drip down her legs, glistening in the soft light of the lamp in the room.
Running her fingers through my hair, she instructed me to show her love and affection however I saw fit. I knew exactly how I wanted to show said emotions to the woman in my life. We were settled on the floor in front of each other and I decided to reach for her foot, and brought it to my mouth. I laid soft, delicate kisses along the tips of her toes and moved towards the sole, never taking my gaze from hers. Kissing toward her ankle, she licked her lips and grinned. Not missing a beat, I brought her ankle to my shoulder and began to nibble at the flesh on her calf and alternating it with kisses. Kiss, nibble, kiss nibble. Reaching the back of her knee, I placed my mouth on her skin and sucked in what I could, holding it there with my teeth and watching her eyes roll back with pleasure.
She placed her hand on her mound, reaching a finger down to tease her clit. I quickly thumped at her finger, released her flesh from my teeth and shook my head. “No, love, that’s my job”, I said. She wanted more, and voiced such. I began lightly trailing my fingers along her inner thighs, teasing ever so slightly. I quickly slid between her legs so as to kiss her, taking her face in my hands during the moment. She slipped her tongue between my lips, searching and exploring my mouth while I moved my right hand toward her cunt. Guiding a finger between her pierced lips, I felt her quiver beneath me and she moaned into our kiss. I applied the slightest bit of pressure to her clit and began to slowly rub and pulled away from the kiss so I could watch her squirm with delight.
Propping herself up with her hands behind her, she leaned back to give me more access to her exposed desire. Replacing my thumb on her clit and slipping my index and middle digit into her, I could see the excitement in her eyes. Slowly pumping my fingers into her while still paying attention to her clit, she sat up and grabbed at my shoulders and began to mimic my movements from earlier on my neck. Kiss, nibble, kiss, nibble. I growled slightly in her ear and began to pump faster, massaging the spongey tissue inside of her, wanting to bring her to ecstacy. No more kisses. She began biting me, taking pieces of my tender flesh into her mouth and not letting go, imitating that of an animal. I quickly picked up my pace even more, sliding in another finger and thrusting harder and faster. Within minutes she was gripping my shoulders and screaming in my ear while I felt her explode in pleasure right into my hand.
After riding the orgasm for as long as possible, she collapsed next to me. Placing my arm underneath her head and lacing our legs together, I began to kiss her forehead, nose and lips in that order. She lazily turned her face toward me and gave me light, delicate kisses on my lips, just as I had on her legs and feet. I knew then that she was very pleased with the job I had done. Shortly after, we both nodded off into a sweet slumber. We nodded off while laying there together, intertwined and tangled full of love, lust, and compassion.

Hmmmmmmmm!

A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to do the wild thing. When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, “What happened to the other five condoms?” His nervous reply was, “Er, I masturbated with them.” Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, “Have you ever done that?” “Yeah, once or twice,” he told her. “You mean you’ve actually masturbated with a condom before?” she asked. “Oh,” he said, “I thought you were asking if I’d ever lied to my girlfriend.”

I Must Agree

These three women were roommates. One night they had all gone out on dates and they all came home at about the same time. The first one said,”You know you’ve been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up.” The second one said, “No, you know you’ve beenon a good date when you come home with your makeup all smeared.” The third one said nothing, but reached under her skirt, removed her panties and threw them against the wall, where they stuck. “Now THAT’S a good fuck’n date!”

There Once Was ...

There once was a priest who had to spend the night in a hotel. He asked the hat check girl to come up to his room for dinner. After a while he started making passes, she stopped him and reminded him he was a holy man. “It’s OK,” he replied, “it’s written in the Bible.” So after a wild night of sex, the hat check girl asked to see where in the Bible it says it’s okay to have wild, passionate sex. The priest picks up the Bible off the dresser opens to the first page where someone wrote in pencil: “The hat check girl puts out!”

I Don't Either!

Cock Blocker

An Exotic Threesome to Join

You are feeling restless in the home environment; distant or exotic locales seem more attractive. You're liable to latch onto someone who represents your longing for something different and adventurous.

A True Cock ....

Busy The Next Weeks

I may not be around much for the next couple weeks. I will do some stop and gos. Bare ... pun intended ... with me.

I Have A Solution

Is it dangerous for women to snore?

A study by researcher Frank Hu and the Harvard School of Public Health found that women who snore are at an increased risk of high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease.

What Kind Of Mums?

How can you make your mums last longer?

To help them last longer, put the cut ends of chrysanthemums in very hot water for a moment and then straight into very cold.

Just Ask How High!

How far can jackrabbits jump?

Jackrabbits are powerful jumpers. A 20-inch adult can leap 20 feet in a single bound.

Today's Word "Agon"

Agon \AH-gahn; ah-GOHN\ (noun) - A struggle or contest; conflict; especially between the protagonist and antagonist in a literary work.

"The course was a survey of recorded western sport history as measured against the principles of those who founded sport, the greeks. The principles were agon, the struggle, and its relationship to arete, the victory. Agon meant so much more than just a struggle to the ancient Greeks. It was a process -- the good and the bad of the struggle -- that led to honor and fame, not merely a win." -- Dick Hannula, 'The Swim Coaching Bible'

Agon comes from Greek agon, "a struggle or contest." It is related to agony.

Moi

Beware of being sold a bill of goods. You don't want to be confrontational and you want to go along but that's just what someone is counting on. You must be skeptical, challenge, fact-check, analyze.

Anal Intercourse is the Least Practiced Form of Anal Sex

There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common techniques include touching the anal opening while masturbating or stimulating a partner's anus during intercourse or oral sex. Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger - their own or a lover's - insinuated into their anal opening and gently rotated.

Others may prefer the insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and short anal canal into the larger rectum. Many men, including heterosexuals, prefer this form of penetration. Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. The very idea disgusts some people. Others enjoy performing it or allowing themselves to be probed in this special way.

Don't Forget To Take The New Poll...

It Will Take Me a Few Minutes to Cum ...

so it's up there now ------------->

Do You Prefer ...

... Shaved, Unshaven, Hairy, Trimmed, or ....