If you take a look at our recent articles, you may have noticed us getting a bit, well, slap-happy. And why not: an orgasm is something we can all agree on, be it from hand or vagina.
And if you thought there was only one method to whacking it, you are denying yourself to a whole subculture of masturbatory methods. Spank site JackInWorld alone sports several techniques that I’ve never heard of, let alone attempted. So let’s collectively pull down our pants, close the shades, read the top techniques after the jump and rub one out, for posterity’s sake.
It’s gonna get real technical from here on in…
“ORAL” SIMULATION To simulate the feeling of lips sliding over the penis head: Lube up your erection and hold the shaft in one hand. Put your dominant hand’s index and middle fingers together horizontally, palm toward your face, in front of the penis head. Push the head into the gap between the fingers. The fingers should be relaxed, not tense. Now pull back and do this over and over the top third of the penis. Feel how the fingers conform to the penis’s contour as they slide over the head and back. As you do this, position your other hand behind the “lips,” and grip and squeeze the head as you push the penis in.
ROSY PALM & BLANKET Lie in bed with a soft blanket on top of you; hold your penis with one hand and stick it straight up so the head is touching the blanket. Then with your other hand go outside (on top of) the blanket and try the Rosy Palm technique through the blanket. You don’t need lube; all you feel on your penis head is your soft blanket. You might not be able to continue this for long because of how sensitive your penis head can become.
THE MILKER Make a ring around the base of your penis with your well-lubricated right hand’s thumb and forefinger, and slide it up along the shaft. When the ring reaches the head, make a ring around the base of your penis with your well-lubricated left hand, and work it up. Repeat the process when your left “ring” reaches the head of your penis. The idea is to go up without ever going down. You can use only the thumb and forefinger or add the other fingers as you get away from the base.
MONKEY GRIP This one is great if you like to massage your scrotum with one hand while you masturbate with the other. If you’re right-handed, instead of holding your scrotum from the left side, cross your wrists (left wrist on top) so you’re grabbing your scrotum from the right side. You may have to bend your body to the right to get the best position. If you’ve never done this before, it will feel like someone else is holding your scrotum. Tip: As you masturbate with the other hand, press your fingertips and thumb into the cracks between your scrotum and each thigh, and gently massage those areas with slow, rhythmic movements.
THE “VAGINA” Lie down on your side and hold onto your penis with the “Backhand” grip. Roll over further and brace your hand against the bed, and thrust your penis in and out of your hand. This closely mimics the movements of intercourse. It’s a very different feeling to masturbate by moving your pelvis rather than your hand. It’s also fun to put your other hand down and feel your scrotum moving back and forth as you pump in and out of the “vagina.”
And if you thought there was only one method to whacking it, you are denying yourself to a whole subculture of masturbatory methods. Spank site JackInWorld alone sports several techniques that I’ve never heard of, let alone attempted. So let’s collectively pull down our pants, close the shades, read the top techniques after the jump and rub one out, for posterity’s sake.
It’s gonna get real technical from here on in…
“ORAL” SIMULATION To simulate the feeling of lips sliding over the penis head: Lube up your erection and hold the shaft in one hand. Put your dominant hand’s index and middle fingers together horizontally, palm toward your face, in front of the penis head. Push the head into the gap between the fingers. The fingers should be relaxed, not tense. Now pull back and do this over and over the top third of the penis. Feel how the fingers conform to the penis’s contour as they slide over the head and back. As you do this, position your other hand behind the “lips,” and grip and squeeze the head as you push the penis in.
ROSY PALM & BLANKET Lie in bed with a soft blanket on top of you; hold your penis with one hand and stick it straight up so the head is touching the blanket. Then with your other hand go outside (on top of) the blanket and try the Rosy Palm technique through the blanket. You don’t need lube; all you feel on your penis head is your soft blanket. You might not be able to continue this for long because of how sensitive your penis head can become.
THE MILKER Make a ring around the base of your penis with your well-lubricated right hand’s thumb and forefinger, and slide it up along the shaft. When the ring reaches the head, make a ring around the base of your penis with your well-lubricated left hand, and work it up. Repeat the process when your left “ring” reaches the head of your penis. The idea is to go up without ever going down. You can use only the thumb and forefinger or add the other fingers as you get away from the base.
MONKEY GRIP This one is great if you like to massage your scrotum with one hand while you masturbate with the other. If you’re right-handed, instead of holding your scrotum from the left side, cross your wrists (left wrist on top) so you’re grabbing your scrotum from the right side. You may have to bend your body to the right to get the best position. If you’ve never done this before, it will feel like someone else is holding your scrotum. Tip: As you masturbate with the other hand, press your fingertips and thumb into the cracks between your scrotum and each thigh, and gently massage those areas with slow, rhythmic movements.
THE “VAGINA” Lie down on your side and hold onto your penis with the “Backhand” grip. Roll over further and brace your hand against the bed, and thrust your penis in and out of your hand. This closely mimics the movements of intercourse. It’s a very different feeling to masturbate by moving your pelvis rather than your hand. It’s also fun to put your other hand down and feel your scrotum moving back and forth as you pump in and out of the “vagina.”
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